I'm definitely hoping she would be for my sake, lol. Who else's sake would it be?
She's also talked about having sex with a naked girl in the room, that might tease or let me play with her tits while i'm having sex with my girl, but nothing further. So she's pretty openminded. I'm just wondering if she's hedging because she doesn't want me to get ahead of myself.
No. She is just saying what she knows you want to hear! As Mike says, I would start with the lapdance and take it from there. The only thing I will say to you is take care not to push her into doing anything she doesn't want to do. I know of some men who basically nagged their wives/girlfriends into doing some three in a bed arrangement (in one case, it was MWM). In that case she went along with it eventually to keep him happy but finally she said she wasn't going to do it any more because she wasn't happy. Would he accept that? Would he hell! He demanded an explanation of why she wouldn't do it. She gave him the explanation but it wasn't good enough for him. He kept on and on at her to resume the three way action. She refused. He became aggressive with her, threatening to leave if she didn't start up again. Still she refused. He came to us for help, saying that he didn't understand why she didn't want to do it anymore and that she really enjoyed it - this is despite the fact that she had told him over and over why she didn't want to do it anymore. He honestly could not see that there was anything wrong with his behaviour...
It turned out he was bisexual but in deep denial about it. During the three way MWM action, he managed to persuade himself that she was enjoying it, when in reality, he enjoyed the excuse to get his hands on another man "accidentally and with permission because he was doing it to please her" as part of the action. Somehow the fact that he was going down on another guy with enthusiasm didn't count because he told himself he was doing it because she wanted him to. Her real problem was her man was a bit too enthusiastic about having sex with other men and it bothered her. The fact that it was not pleasing her and never had became immaterial to him. The three-way was purely about satisfying his needs under the guise of satisfying hers.
I am not suggesting you are bisexual but I am urging you to remember whose fantasy this is. It doesn't sound like it's hers. If she is balking or if she doesn't want to do it, do not push her into anything and don't, whatever you do, ask her do it "for your sake" because that is manipulative and things will only end in tears.