She wants to take it slow?

bafflio

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Hi,

So I met this girl and we went out on two dates so far. I will be seeing her again tomorrow for a third one.

On the first date I held her hand and told her i was interested in her. She was giggling saying it was unexpected - I had a good vibe.

On the second date I asked her how she felt about me - and she said she thought I was a good guy but wanted to take it slow. I told her I want to make sure we are more than friends.
She told me that she had a bad experience with her previous bf (I knew him somewhat - not very well. he, she and I were in a same class in university once).

She wants to take it slow, I don't. I will respect her wishes but I don't want this to go too slow. When is the right time to make the move? When to kiss her, and when to ask her to be my gf?

I know it depends on the cues and circumstances but I feel like beyond the third date it would be getting a bit late.. no?
 

kurios

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You already know
"it depends on the cues and circumstances"
Don't put time frames on progress unless you want to score and move on
This isn't about a best before shelf life
 

bigbucky

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there are no rules, no script. it's strictly play it as it happens. I dated gals that over time we just never hit it off. they wanted to go slow. I went slow. after a few dates, either I or they lost interest. then I had other ones, that started slow, and on the 3rd or 4th date, it was "are you gonna fuck me or not?" I asked gals out on dates and was refused, excuse being they just like to hang out in our mutual crowd of friends. maybe get close or dance together a couple times in the course of a night, and next thing you know you're balls deep in 'em.

the worst thing is to get too pushy or to controlling. women hate that, and think about it...you'd hate it too!!
 

B_ILIW

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You're either friendzoned, and she's not into you. or she's not ready for anything new as yet since she's getting over her prior bf.

Probably best to find somebody else, since either way she doesn't seem ready IMO.
 

Reddhott

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What, exactly, does she want to take slow? Is she saying she wants to get to know you before she has sex with you? Seems reasonable.

Does she want to hang out as buds and not think of the two of you in romantic terms at all? Hmmmmm....

But you do seem to be in a bit of a rush. Two dates and you want to push her for exclusivity?
 

Jsamine

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If you didn't make a move to at least kiss me on the 2nd date I'd make the move on you if I was really attracted to you. If you don't go for a passionate kiss on the 3rd date then maybe you don't really like her the way you think you do.
 

long_uncut

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Sounds like a good old-fashioned girl to me. It probably depends on what she is looking for in the relationship, how slow she wants to go. Sometimes patience and learning to wait for something makes the reward all that much sweeter in the end. Just saying....
 

Brisler

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I think you should decapitate a pig, remove its skull and use its head as a mask. Then cut off your feet and hands and attach the pig's hooves as replacements. Then on your coming third date you should lean in for a passionate kiss and ask her if she's ready for some good old fashioned exclusivity with pigman!
 
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Bashful_man

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Maybe she isn't over her ex bf. If not its not a good time to rush into a relationship with her.


Its only going to hurt your relations if she is the right woman for you and you start pushing her into something she doesn't want to do or not ready to do.
 

Mercurygirl

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The second date you asked her how she felt about you? Really?

Take a deep breath, relax, and let things develop naturally. Personally if a guy starts asking me how I feel about him on the second date I'm thinking, needy, clingy, RUN!