She was determined to have sex without a condom.

[naughty]

I didnt cum in her. I wouldnt. The chance of a baby should be minimal. I have spoken to her for quite a few months before hand, and got quite close to her. It was more a FWB rather than a one night stand. I dont think im going back. Just the whole cuddling thing she wanted all the time after like we were a couple really put me off. Again, from what we have spoken about about before the idea of sex ever came up, she doesnt seem like she has had it without a condom before apart from the one time with her virgin bf.

She told me it was more just wanting to feel skin on skin, but im staying away. Its all far more scarier the day after. Fuck.

Lemon,

I dont mean to scare you, but just because you didnt fully ejaculate does not mean that perhaps some pre ejaculate did not appear. Pre ejaculate too can carry sperm. I am so sorry you had to deal with a situation like this. I concur with everyone else that you should stay far away from her and also consult someone there as to how you might deal with the possible repurcussions. Hang in there.

 

[TaigaStar]

I'd still be skeptical about her taking the pill. She may just be looking for a nice guy to hook in to support a child. I've seen that happen.

 

[Incocknito]

Preparing for sex, you reach the outer banks, she says to put it in without a cover. You get the condom on and now she resists. You realize it's not going to get in and lay back. She fondles you, you rally and go back and now no resistance and she tells you that you don't have a condom on.

You make it sound like a military operation

 

[B_quietguy]

Never put your dick in crazy people. Condom or not, sex with crazy people ain't worth the drama and worries.

 

[B_quietguy]

I didnt cum in her. I wouldnt. The chance of a baby should be minimal.

Did you come at all? If she's the kind that tricks somebody into getting her pregnant, she could use any sperm you spurted on her boobs or face.

 

[Northland]

You know lemon, the more I read it, the more I read her insistance that you go without the condom, the more I wonder if she's missed her monthly, and had perhaps been with another, someone she didn't have any attachment to and wants to make sure there's a nice man who would take responsibility if she is pregnant. The skin on skin thing- well, sure it's nice, but she should have been honest with you. You were an adult about it all the way, insisting on the condom and stopping when you knew it wasn't still on, be glad she at least told you that. She may have figured you'd keep going at that point, you showed maturity and got out; however...


...as naughty noted, pre-cum/ejaculate can carry a pregnancy causing sperm, it just takes one. Aside from that, be sure to get tested.

Good luck lemon.

 

[petite]

You know lemon, the more I read it, the more I read her insistance that you go without the condom, the more I wonder if she's missed her monthly, and had perhaps been with another, someone she didn't have any attachment to and wants to make sure there's a nice man who would take responsibility if she is pregnant.

Very observant. I actually knew a woman who attempted this ~14 years ago!

She was really crazy, too! She kept offering to take him to see her family overseas (she was foreign) but she told me privately that once they were over there she knew that he would love it so much that he'd never come back and that her family would convince him to stay.

 

[TroMag]

For many STDs, it takes 3months to get a reliable negative result.

As others have said, if she's this insistent on no condoms, who knows how many guys she's been like that with.

And the birth control thing - if you didn't see her take it, you can't be sure.

 

[denton85]

any girl who is insistent on not using a condom, and telling YOU she is clean without needing much convincing or knowledge that you are clean leads me to a think either she is trying to make u get her pregnant, or is pregnant and wants to pin the baby on u instead of another person (or persons) because they would be dead beats.

However will say that i've been with a few girls who would question me if i was clean, and how sure i am, and hope that i was so we could go further and have no condom sex. some girls absolutely love sex without a condom so much so they are willing to have a little bit of risk. Now i say a little bit of risk because these girls i know had protected sex with other guys. I've made many calls to use a condom even though the girl had hoped for none. (for example a fuck buddy a while back would go bareback with me, but wouldn't with my other friend cause she just plain didn't trust him even though i've slept with more people, she knew i had only had unprotected sex with 2 other people other than her, and they were virgins before me. And i knew she had only had sex with 1 other person other than me and he was a virgin before her... on the flip side she knew that my friend had slept with 2 random girls and didn't remember if a condom was involved)

OK now back to the point at hand this girl seems like she has no idea, or care if you are clean. So either it's one of the ulterior sinister motives, or she is very willing to just fuck without a condom without care for her own health.... which would be just stupid, and you should stay away.

So in all counts that i can think of... you should stay away from this girl in bed.

 

[Enid]

Yes, get tested now and then again 3 months from now.
And get comprehensive testing done, not just for HIV but also gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, herpes and hepatitis.

 

[D_Andreas Sukov]

Im not as mature as some people made out, I did cum, just not in her. In fact the whole me being in her without a condom didnt last till about 2-3 minutes after i kinda realised i didnt have a condom. Im ashamed, but i wasnt thinking with my right "head" and did continue for a the 2-3 minutes after when i thought i could get away with stopping. I know ill be slaughtered for it, but i felt rude just stopping. She is on anti depressants for, what looks to me in my experiance and reading, bi-polar.

This leads me to two issues. I wanna just leave, but today when i said to her i regret everything that happened and am paranoid about it all she started pleading i dont ditch her "like everyone else". I still dont think she is mad enough for her to get herself pregnant, but like people have argued, maybe she would to keep me around as she keeps saying i have been great to her lately. The idea of me being a good father is stupid. Her thinking it, not those suggsting it. I have no job and i would have no love for this kid. Its sick, but when ive been lost in thought, the idea of it hopefully dying has come to my head. This is a child that probably doesnt exist. I feel abit sick because of that thought, as i want lots of kids, but....just not this fucking one. When i spoke to her, she starting saying it seems i am blaming it on her. And she told me she is getting tested. Whilst i am getting tested myself, i do believe that i am clean. I am just being responsable and checking. Like i said in other posts on this thread, Before the idea of us having sex was mentioned and we even knew eachother that well she was telling me about her sexual history and that the onlly people she had had unprotected sex with before were one guy who was a virgin.

Call me stupid, but i will go with what she said before she really knew me. Im still staying away and im not doing anything with her again. She is very unstable, but she isnt a whore. I think the chances of her being infected are low. I am just very scared about it all. All in all, i feel sorry for her. She obviously wants someone very close and i cant be that person on more. Im more worried that she will do something stupid if i leave. But for my own sake i guess i have to.

What made me laugh, was when i went to my uni surgery, Apparently STD checks arnt doctor situations, and id have to wait until monday for the clinic.....

Its things like this that make me think i should just go gay. Seriously, women are too confusing for me.... Just as my life was going back on track too....

 

[B_quietguy]

Now you are doing some good thinking! Looks like your real head is in charge of decisions here.

I hope the young lady learns to be more careful next time. She might be a really decent partner for somebody, someday once she becomes more stable, but it is smart of you to realize that might not be you. She needs to figure our for herself what matters to her.

 

[petite]

Have you had a serious talk with her about how dangerous her behavior is to her health in regards to STDs?

She's probably done this before and she might do it again. She doesn't have to be a "whore." It just takes one infected male-slut who takes advantage of her loneliness for her to become infected.

 

[BS76]

She wants to have your kid. It's pretty common actually. Just about every time a woman says not to use one, or doesn't insist you use one, she sees you as catch. For some reason many women think having a kid together is a good way to snare a man for the long term.

/thread

 

[B_quietguy]

She wants to have your kid. It's pretty common actually. Just about every time a woman says not to use one, or doesn't insist you use one, she sees you as catch. For some reason many women think having a kid together is a good way to snare a man for the long term.

/thread

Like Rielle Hunter and John Edwards?

 

[willow78]

"...pleading I don't ditch her like everyone else..."
BINGO! She has serious abandonment issues. It seems to me that she wants to hold on to you at any cost. I think she's hoping that if she gets pregnant, you will stay with her. She is selfish. There is nothing wrong with you not wanting kids right now. You're only 19, you're going to college. It's important to get your own life up and running before thinking about creating another one. To try and trick you into parenthood is probably just the tip of the crazy iceberg. If she does get pregnant, she might try and manipulate you into marrying her and make you feel guilty if you try to leave. This girl only cares about herself, she doesn't care about you or your future.

"Its things like this that make me think i should just go gay."
We can't get pregnant but we can be just as crazy!

 

[dolfette]

her mental health isn't your responsibility.

 

[D_Andreas Sukov]

"...pleading I don't ditch her like everyone else..."
BINGO! She has serious abandonment issues. It seems to me that she wants to hold on to you at any cost. I think she's hoping that if she gets pregnant, you will stay with her. She is selfish. There is nothing wrong with you not wanting kids right now. You're only 19, you're going to college. It's important to get your own life up and running before thinking about creating another one. To try and trick you into parenthood is probably just the tip of the crazy iceberg. If she does get pregnant, she might try and manipulate you into marrying her and make you feel guilty if you try to leave. This girl only cares about herself, she doesn't care about you or your future.

"Its things like this that make me think i should just go gay."
We can't get pregnant but we can be just as crazy![/QUOTE]

Dont i know just know it!

 

[D_Andreas Sukov]

her mental health isn't your responsibility.

I know. Im just a sucker for feeling bad. in the long run, atleast i have a somewhat funny story for the pub.

 

[naughty]

Lemon,

Over the years here we have had members bring up similar situations as well. WHen I was reading your description of the young woman you ave been dating, this came to my mind loud and clear. It may be the case it may not be but I would like for you to read it.

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER

Overview
Borderline personality disorder is a condition in which a person makes impulsive actions, and has an unstable mood and chaotic relationships.

Symptoms
Relationships with others are intense and unstable. They swing wildly from love to hate and back again. People with BPD will frantically try to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
BPD patients may also be uncertain about their identity or self-image. They tend to see things in terms of extremes, either all good or all bad. They also typically view themselves as victims of circumstance and take little responsibility for themselves or their problems.
Other symptoms include:

• Feelings of emptiness and boredom
• Frequent displays of inappropriate anger
• Impulsiveness with money, substance abuse, sexual relationships, binge eating, or shoplifting
• Intolerance of being alone
• Recurrent acts of crisis such as wrist cutting, overdosing, or self-injury (such as cutting)

Treatment
Group therapy can help change self-destructive behaviors. Having peers reinforce appropriate behaviors may be more successful than one-on-one counseling, because people with this condition often have difficulty with authority figures, which can prevent them from learning.
Medications can help level mood swings and treat depression or other disorders that may occur with this condition.

Causes
Personality disorders are long-term (chronic) patterns of behavior that negatively affect relationships and work. The cause of borderline personality disorder (BPD) is unknown. People with BPD are impulsive in areas that have a potential for self-harm, such as drug use, drinking, and other risk-taking behaviors.
Risk factors for BPD include:

• Abandonment in childhood or adolescence
• Disrupted family life
• Poor communication in the family
• Sexual abuse

This personality disorder tends to occur more often in women and among hospitalized psychiatric patients.

Tests & diagnosis
Personality disorders are diagnosed based on psychological evaluation and the history and severity of the symptoms.

Prognosis
Borderline personality disorder has a poor outlook because people often do not comply with treatment.

Complications

• Drug abuse
• Suicide attempts
• Eating disorders
• Depression

When to contact a doctor
Call your health care provider if you or your child