she wont cum from sex!

[autoballer]

Ok, i hesitated to post this, i looked for similar threads but i came up dry...so if anyone knows of something similar put a link in here....

my girlfriend of the past 9 years has yet to cum from regular sex...we were very young when we got to together, it was jr year of highschool. we had no sexual experiences outside eachother, we were together for about 6 months before we tried oral(successful orgasms all round), and a year before we tried sex. She worried a lot because of her catholic background, she had negative feelings and guilt for a long time (i think she still does)woried about getting kocked up too... and i always cause her pain with sex unless their is a vibrator directly on her clit the whole time...i have to wear a vibrating cock ring every time we have sex or she wont even enjoy it! and not just the trojan mini things, we have to take a corded (2AAbattery) vibrating egg and combine it with a ring that will hold it, or she has to use a hitachi while we do it...

This makes me feel like shit. I feel like their is something wrong with me or im not attractive enough to her, or maybe she has something wrong with her...(im a 5'7" 190lb nerd/pervert that works retail at age 25..) im always tired and always horny...

I feel like my life would be unfulfiled if i hadnt had a woman orgasm from just me!

Im not huge by this forums standards, im 7.5" x 5.5" but she actually bleeds after just about each time we have sex, the gyno found out she has a polyp on her cervix that they wont operate on because it could risk infirtility... so between periods if she wants sex she has to think about if she wants to bleed or not....

on top of all that all of our highschool friends are getting engaged/married and im thinkin we havent been with anyone else... what if...what if...etc.. i told her before i buy her a ring i want a all me orgasm(i wasnt really serious at the time but now i want one!)

maybe im just a jackass who is taking her feelings for granted...

this is all i can think about lately and i've been dealing with the depression by logicaly thinking it through step by step, contimplating what couse would be best for both of us...im almost in tears as i type this but i think that if we broke up it might be for the best, but every time i see her that feeling disapears...

if anyone has had a similar experience and did something that worked out for them please let me know how it went...

 

[B_JasonX87]

I can't offer any advise but I empathize with you. I have dated a girl that couldn't orgasm from sex either. It was very rough for me too because you constantly deal with the issue of not feeling that you can satisfy her. A lot of the turn on for me is her being turned on and getting off.

I never have had a problem with getting any other girl off but some girls just can't cum from vaginal sex. Vibrators didn't even do a lot for her and she wasn't bit on clitoral stimulation. She could get herself off though and she still enjoyed sex even thought she didn't get off from it. I never was able to get her off having sex and it did bother me.

 

[dude_007]

Maybe she is a lesbian.
Maybe the two of you don't have the right chemistry.
Maybe her anxiety blocks her ability to let go.
Maybe, if you love her, you will be patient.
Or
Maybe its time to move on...it has been 9 years.

 

[autoballer]

anxiety isnt a word i directly said, however it is extremely accurate with her...

 

[autoballer]

that and my girlfriend just masturbated for the first time with a vibrator about a month ago...she never explored herself...i tried even buying her books on it, my bookshelf proudly displays it...

 

[jakesph]

Half of all women can't orgasm with just penetration. They need external stimulation. My fiancee uses the jimmy Jane form 2 which is a very powerful external stimulation toy, it helps when she feels like cumming.

 

[MrGoodDate]

My girlfriend never had an orgasm and she is nearly 50. But we have worked on that and she has cumm about 6 times in the last 2 years. She enjoys all we do and we play many, many ways. Some just do not have many orgasms... or even none.

 

[lpsgnoob]

You can't be serious right? Who cares if she doesn't cum from penetration. 70% of women can't cum from penetration alone. Also, if women don't orgasm during sex, it doesn't mean they didn't enjoy the sex. Some women can still enjoy sex very much (and want it again) without any orgasms. And on top of that, your lady actually does orgasm but not with penetration. So what?? Just give her an amazing cunninlingus then be gentle and enjoy the rest of the act. I just can't believe you want to throw away a 9 year relationship with a woman just because of that. That's really shallow, it's not like its her fault she can't orgasm.

Another thing, do you know that for women in order for them to achieve orgasms they need to be relaxed and feeling comfortable about having sex with their partner. So maybe that whole thing about her catholic background, worrying being knocked up and all that is blocking her from relaxing and having an orgasm from penetration? And do you realize when you tell her "i want an all me orgasm" you are actually making things much worst? You are putting more pressure on her and making her feel unsexy, do you know that? Ma man, if I was you, I would focus on being a much better lover outside the bedroom. Trust me, you will be surprised at the difference it makes. :smile:

I got other things I need to mention, because it got me confused;

I feel like my life would be unfulfiled if i hadnt had a woman orgasm from just me!

But didn't you just say you made your woman orgasm by oral??? Wasn't it you that gave her oral?? lol

but she actually bleeds after just about each time we have sex

Oh dear, no wonder why she doesn't orgasm. Need skills ma man. Skills is the key.

OK, how about you try this. Take your lady to a romantic dinner, then comeback home, have few drinks (if you guys drink). Then give her a nice massage while you complimenting her at same time then give her a nice oral so you get her all warmed up. After oral, work her G-Spot with your fingers. Then when it comes to penetration, don't go too deep near her cervix, just try shallow penetration (with skills you should be able to aim her G-Spot with the head of your penis) with positions that allow you to stimulate her clitoris at the same time. Remember to always ask her if she like it or not, and don't forget to cuddle with her at the end. That plays hugeeee part for the next session. :wink:

DON'T expect her to orgasm, just expect her to enjoy it. Then you will never know, over time prob after you guys get married and she becomes more comfortable with you, she will prob achieve orgasms from penetration. I know you can do it mannn pleasee don't be that shallow.:frown1:

 

[D_Rosalind Mussell]

As a woman, I automatically default to that polyp. She might be in pain and not telling you. Also, if you've been using those vibes for a long time she could be a bit desensitized. It's been known to happen with some women if they use vibrating toys too much.

You also mentioned that she never explored herself until recently. If she doesn't know how to get herself there, no one else can expect to achieve that either. As someone else mentioned here, she might just be a clitoral orgasm girl. It's not anyone's fault, it might just be the way her body naturally responds.

Whatever you do, don't put pressure on her. That alone can contribute to inorgasmia.

 

[autoballer]

lpsgnoob & bbw36 thanks for being constructive!!! i was really expecting you guys to tear me a new one...i'll try that dinner and a movie thing...after my next paycheck... Also, why the hell did god put the clit outside the vagina!? i feel more like a jackass now than ever... i have no idea how she puts up with me...i guess i better start saving money for a life together...

 

[autoballer]

i looked up the jimmy Jane form 2..that thing is serious, it looks like it would make a man cum...

 

[pcghabsy]

It sounds very much like a psychological condition than a physical one. What you have to do is make her comfortable. I can't tell you how - you know her best. Don't expect anyone to orgasm when they are having anxiety attacks. Always, the first thing during sex - be relaxed and comfortable. All problems evaporate then.

 

[autoballer]

guess i need to move out of my moms house...

 

[dude_007]

If you are posting this on the internet, it is more than just a passing problem. You even say you've given an ultimatum to marriage because the sex is unfulfilling. Selfish or not, it is how you feel and you would be wise to follow the feeling and not the guilt about those feelings.

 

[D_Ernest Porknine]

I've never had a a women who has had an orgasm from intercourse. I don't think it is me because they all said no other guy has ever gotten them off from just intercourse either. Some women are just made different and can't achieve an orgasm from intercourse. I have no problem bringing the to an orgasm by oral sex. I would LOVE to experience bringing a woman to an orgasm via intercourse and feel I have the girth (6") to do so and also can fuck an indefinite amount of time if need be. You are not alone.

 

[Incocknito]

There are women who enjoy sex and who don't have polyps, in case you didn't know.

 

[D_Fred Flintstones]

whats that sorry i dunno lol

 

[AlteredEgo]

Autoballer, please don't take this the wrong way, but your ego is ruining sex for you. It is. Orgasm is not always supposed to be the goal of sex, and is not the only indicator of pleasure and satisfaction. If your girlfriend says she likes the sex, take her at her word and be proud that a beautiful woman keeps coming back for more.

Religion-inspired anxiety. See, this is why I have no God. But that's a separate discussion. My husband was very similar to your girlfriend regarding anxiety surrounding sex acts. Once we got married, he relaxed considerably. It was a really pleasant surprise, and sex became more enjoyable for us both.

If I read this correctly, she still bleeds and shows other signs of physical trauma after you make love, right? She may be hiding pain, or she may not feel pain during, but be secretly fearful of pain she knows she will experience later. She should have a chat with her gyno if any of that is true, and if the doctor won't be helpful she needs a new one.

Women who masturbate are more likely to have orgasms, better orgasms, and overall satisfaction from sex. Find a book that states this outright, and read that section to her. Then remind her of all the books you have available for her edification. Perhaps you can masturbate together.

Vibrators, especially something like the Hitachi have probably reduced her clitoral sensitivity. Can you still bring her to climax from oral? Can she even have vaginal orgasms, or only clitoral? Vaginal orgasms are not immediately possible for all women, and some women who try everything never can have them. If those spots don't get the exploration they deserve, however, she likely never will have any kind of vaginal orgasm (and there are several types).

 

[Chaotica]

What Srdude007 said. The truth is this is not about your gf's orgasms, but about your own feelings and fear of the future.

 

[D_Anne_T_Freeze]

i have only orgasmed a couple of times during sex and that was when i had clitoral stimuli at the same time. it's not a big deal! some of us just aren't made to do it. however, what does get annoying is when i tell a guy that it won't happen and he keeps going and going and going in an attempt to be the first guy to do it. just because i don't orgasm during intercourse, doesn't mean i don't enjoy it! if you van make her orgasm with oral sex or using any other part of your body, then that's just fine! would you rather she faked it?