Hindu...
I think I understand much of what is going on since I have some familiarity with the subject being discussed. When I was at university I had a roommate who was a Bengali, another on my dorm floor who was a Sikh from New Delhi, and an Hindu fraternity brother from Nepal. All three had arranged marriages, and none had ever met their future wives before their trip from the US to India, or even before the marriage day. From what I understand, none had any say regarding these marriage arrangements, neither the men or the women, and that their marriages were solely to join families together or in order to strengthen businesses.
The marriages were in no way "love" matches and were not meant to be. They were basicly buisiness deals.
Many of us in the western world think this is strange and out dated, however, it has been done for thousands of years, is still being done in many parts of the world (and even here in the USA), and the world has not stopped rotating because of it.
We have to remember that most of those who believe in arranged marriages come from religious and cultural backgrounds that think our "love" marriages are strange. Who knows, maybe they are right. Look at the high rate of divorce and infidelity that abounds in places where "love" is thought to be the correct way to go.
Most of these cultures are not as open regarding sex and most are virgins when they marry, or at least my friends were and that was what I was led to believe. They did not expect that their new, virgin wives, would become sex kittens immediately after being pronounced married. None expected that their new wives were expected to immediately jump into bed with them. Most, both men and women, are only given the most rudimentary sex information or education (remember, sex is usually a subject not freely discused)...and hopefully, if each were lucky, would know what to do or to expect. Even Dollywood films, which I enjoy very much....do not allow embrasing or kissing, so unless they are taught by the women of the household, where are they to learn? In many of these cultures, men and women are not even allowed co-mingle and are fobidden to have contact with others not in the same family. One of my friends told me that it was the womans "duty" to obey and to follow the lead of their husband. From what I was led to believe, it was not considered good if the new wife knew too much.
Could it be that Hindu and his wife did not know each other before, and in such a short time still haven't become comfortable with each other yet? Maybe she is a lot younger than he....since I understand that many young girls are married to older men. If they are both virgins, and I am sure that is the case, then it is the blind leading the blind, so to speak, and they will have to become friends first, and let the love and desires come later. Let nature take it's course.
It is difficult to know what Hindu's new wife is thinking. Unless you walk in someone's shoes for a time, it is impossible to know what they feel. The marriage, I understand, took place in India. If she is from India and is now here, living in a strange country, in a strange culture, and with a strange new husband, I would think it would be terrifying for her. Hindu, take it easy, become a good friend to her, take everything slowly, don't force her, and it will come. Both of you have much to learn and much to enjoy.
I married a woman from a society that arranged marriages, and we thought that....or I thought that we could overcome the old traditions of her culture, and that after we got married nothing could be done about it and we would be safe...and we would live happily ever after. She had warned me that it was her "duty" to mind her father and to unqestionalbly follow his orders. But, I insisted and we finally married anyway, without her parents knowledge or permission. Her father later fought me and through the courts obtained our divorce and she married the man that she had been bethrothed to. Two families joined through their children, and purely a business deal. Yes, I know about this, and I feel empathy for Hindu and his new wife. I was lucky, though, my wife and I had the chance to know each other first and to have the opportunity to fall in love before we married.
Hindu, be gentle with her. Become friends and let her know that you can be trusted. Hopefully that friendship will turn into love and your future together will be one of happines and joy. And, with many children to help bring much of that joy.
Good Luck.
