''she's just pussy to me''

dolfette

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no, this is NOT just about that thread.
if we can, i'd like to not mention that thread or that poster.
but id does inspire the question...

what do you think of this attitude?
have you been treated this way?
how do you feel about being seen this way?
has society seen a rise in this attitude?
if so, what is the cause?

...or do you think ''he's just dick to me'' yourself?
 

Phil Ayesho

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Its about as unattractive a thought as I can imagine... utterly self absorbed and any guy mouthing such should just kill themselves now and make a little room for an actual human being.

Every soul is tender to the touch, every human being is deserving of compassion and consideration.

There is no such thing "just sex" of any kind... it's ALWAYS more complicated than that... even when we pretend it isn't.
People's feelings are involved, and any real man has the obligation of making any woman he is physically intimate with feel that she is valued, attractive, interesting and delightful...

Even a fuck buddy wants to feel that you find them desirable, or enjoy their company.


And any man that can not pony up a sincere interest in the woman he is looking to have sex with, should buy himself a Rubber Doll and leave the real women to the real men.
 

D_Jerry_Atric

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It depends on who is saying it, how long we've known each other, and other factors.

Not that I even really do hook ups or one night stands anymore but when I did have them it did not offend me when men said how I had a nice cock, a handsome face, a very sexy body, that I'm the perfect size to suck, that they could suck me for days, you have the best cock I've ever sucked, or when the first guy I had sex with said how I reminded him of his favorite dildo.

One time I was having sex with this guy and I was flogging and paddling him and during the middle of sex I just said "Sorry this isn't working out, let's end it." since he wasn't telling me what he wanted to do and I'm not a mind reader.

I had offered to tie him up, do sensation type stuff with him (ice and hot wax), and I offered to blindfold him and while he did top me from the bottom when I did SM to him I was fine with this.

Oddly enough I've had more women say stuff like "I just want to use you! ALL men want to be used for sex!" to me than men.

I had one submissive woman I had sex with stalk me after we had sex, and mind you this was after we had agreed that no matter what happened or did not happen that we'd just go our separate ways.

She also had sex with my friend that same night/next morning, and he'd watched us have sex in the back of his car, but I really do not care about her and him having sex at all. I had consensually used a crop on her when we had all visited an adult sex toy store.

I did find it creepy and really weird sending up red flags with me when she started stalking me after we'd had sex and saying how she was my boyfriend/lover, and we'd only known each other for a few hours and then had sex, and we'd agreed that no matter what happened or what did not happen, we would just go on with our lives. She also knew that I'd knew that she and my friend had sex and I did not care that they'd done this, she did not stalk him for some reason? I didn't fuck her even though she did want it and wanted me to do it bareback. Scary.
 

D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

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Personally if i heard or found out someone had referred to me as "just pussy" i would be mortified. Im not a casual type of girl and i'd like to think the people i have slept with would have more respect for me that to speak like that
 

Ramsey

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Its about as unattractive a thought as I can imagine... utterly self absorbed and any guy mouthing such should just kill themselves now and make a little room for an actual human being.

Every soul is tender to the touch, every human being is deserving of compassion and consideration.

There is no such thing "just sex" of any kind... it's ALWAYS more complicated than that... even when we pretend it isn't.
People's feelings are involved, and any real man has the obligation of making any woman he is physically intimate with feel that she is valued, attractive, interesting and delightful...

Even a fuck buddy wants to feel that you find them desirable, or enjoy their company.


And any man that can not pony up a sincere interest in the woman he is looking to have sex with, should buy himself a Rubber Doll and leave the real women to the real men.

Well said.
 

dolfette

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i can see what people are saying about entirely casual encounters...but is seeing them as just pussy/dick dehumanising?
i mean i've had relationships that were just about the sex {that seems like forever ago!} but there was at least a mutual respect. i would never reduce the person to just being a set of genitals.

i wouldn't ever want to be just a wank hole for someone.
 

ZOS23xy

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i can see what people are saying about entirely casual encounters...but is seeing them as just pussy/dick dehumanising?
i mean i've had relationships that were just about the sex {that seems like forever ago!} but there was at least a mutual respect. i would never reduce the person to just being a set of genitals.

i wouldn't ever want to be just a wank hole for someone.

I often think that the idea of masturbation being second hand sex is far better than to be unknowingly left in the dark when you're manipulated and wander into a sexual relationship without knowing you're just an object.

The numbers people rack up in "conquests"--is it directly in proportion to their own humanity?
 
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dolfette

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i'll float this and see whether people agree...

is this attitude caused by low self esteem?
in order to be able to relate to attractive people they must dehumanise them, because a real person would be intimidating?

...not sure i agree entirely.
 

Drifterwood

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I have definitely been just cock. I haven't minded, but I do have a limit. For my part, I have to like someone to have sex with them. OK, maybe to have sex with them again :redface:.

I don't think that there is anything wrong with this attitude, it is probably more honest than our socially engineered relationships.

The issue of course comes when you use and/or manipulate other people.
 

dolfette

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I don't know, I've been treated the best by some of the people I know with the lowest self esteem.

I have extremely low self esteem, because I don't feel it is "acceptable" to be the real me in most circumstances, and I'm simply not confident with the me I force on myself, that isn't however (at least in my mind it isn't) why I accept this behavior from others. I accept it because I have no need to feel anything other than "just like a pussy" from anyone other than myself and my husband, we are the only two people who know the real me, and I seek no validation for the version I allow others to see.
oh, i would never say that self esteem always makes people...cold? is cold the right word?

i would say you're selectively cold. is that fair? you can and do do warmth.
you have warmth with hubby but have to avoid having warmth with other men you sleep with?

swinging perplexes me :biggrin1:
 

dolfette

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Don't worry your pretty little head over it :eek: :tongue:

Why?

Monogamy perplexes me.

So I don't worry my pretty little head over it. :smile:
i let my last ex shag who he wanted to.
and a saw a couple of home videos...with was cool in a novelty value way.
but i don't see how it's a long term turn on.
and i don't understand enjoying sex with multiple partners or being just a hole/dick.
 

dolfette

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It isn't that I'm trying to manipulate anyone, I just can't physically allow people to know the real me. I'm petrified of being judged and rejected as the real me. I have tried, time and time again, and I don't lie (as in make up stories and so on) I just can't do it, and the thought brings on panic attacks.
wow...

i'm the opposite. i regularly offend people by being totally myself.
your way would lead to a more peaceful life!

so...when you're physically shagging another man, are you emotionally with your hubby? like you two have a sex life that uses some very animated toys?
 

Drifterwood

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and i don't understand enjoying sex with multiple partners or being just a hole/dick.

For my part, I would say that I am strong enough in myself to let people take what they want from me, I have usually been able to handle it.

I don't have any attitude that my body is precious nor that sex is sacred in any way. It doesn't even have to be special. It can be special, very special, "sacred" even, but it doesn't have to be.

If you put things on a pedestal, you tend to get disappointed at some time.
 

dolfette

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For my part, I would say that I am strong enough in myself to let people take what they want from me, I have usually been able to handle it.

I don't have any attitude that my body is precious nor that sex is sacred in any way. It doesn't even have to be special.

If you put things on a pedestal, you tend to get disappointed at some time.
it's not that.

i think it's more that i'm not a very physical person.
the sex itself does nothing for me really.
i don't orgasm from sex, i don't enjoy the sensations especially.

on a mental/emotional level i can enjoy sex.
...but that doesn't work with random, faceless dicks.

that and strangers are a bit eeeeeew!
i have to know people fairly well to want them in my personal space.
i find people distasteful but some individuals are exceptions.