''she's just pussy to me''

[dolfette]

I'm not emotionally anywhere when I'm with other men, I'm rarely emotionally there when I'm with hubby either if I'm honest.

To me, normal every day sex is just that, sex, there is no emotional involvement from me, it is servicing a need. That isn't to say that I don't like the person its with, or care about who it is with, because I do, but that has more to do with the before and after than the act itself.

I have different sex with hubby, sex more fitting with the real me, and that is very emotionally involved. Only one other has been a part of that sex, and yes I was emotionally with him during that time.

I'm not sure I'm explaining this very well...

i think i know what you mean.
you explained it well.

 

[Drifterwood]

it's not that.

i think it's more that i'm not a very physical person.
the sex itself does nothing for me really.
i don't orgasm from sex, i don't enjoy the sensations especially.

If the sex doesn't do anything for you, then why would you want to, unless you just used sex to get something else that you needed, which you don't.

Women who have used me as a cock, were exactly the opposite, they just wanted sex, nothing else, and why not? The problems come when one party decides to change the rules, or thinks that there is more to it.

I know couples who don't have sex, but need each other for other reasons, and I know couples who just have sex with each other to satisfy their physical needs, without it meaning anything more to them. Some do both and some neither.

 

[ZOS23xy]

Hmmm. Just went over "that thread" and concluded that some men just don't develop stable personalities until their mid twenties. And some women are set much earlier. This would explain a lot of the cultural head butting we witness.

 

[dolfette]

If the sex doesn't do anything for you, then why would you want to, unless you just used sex to get something else that you needed, which you don't.

Women who have used me as a cock, were exactly the opposite, they just wanted sex, nothing else, and why not? The problems come when one party decides to change the rules, or thinks that there is more to it.

I know couples who don't have sex, but need each other for other reasons, and I know couples who just have sex with each other to satisfy their physical needs, without it meaning anything more to them. Some do both and some neither.

my sexuality is...complicated.

is casual sex always the same as just pussy?

 

[Principessa]

Personally if i heard or found out someone had referred to me as "just pussy" i would be mortified. Im not a casual type of girl and i'd like to think the people i have slept with would have more respect for me that to speak like that

Same here!

i can see what people are saying about entirely casual encounters...but is seeing them as just pussy/dick dehumanising?

Yes!

i mean i've had relationships that were just about the sex {that seems like forever ago!} but there was at least a mutual respect. i would never reduce the person to just being a set of genitals.

i wouldn't ever want to be just a wank hole for someone.

I once had a fuck buddy as well but we talked, we had a genuine likeing for each other as people and not just holes and dicks.

I often think that the idea of masturbation being second hand sex is far better than to be unknowingly left in the dark when you're manipulated and wander into a sexual relationship without knowing you're just an object.

The numbers people rack up in "conquests"--is it directly in proportion to their own humanity?

Sometimes I think that it is.

i'll float this and see whether people agree...

is this attitude caused by low self esteem?

Most likely.

in order to be able to relate to attractive people they must dehumanise them, because a real person would be intimidating?

I'm surprised that you assume the other person to be attractive. I'd think it would be just the opposite. These emotionally wounded people seek out the same and the way they handle it is to objectify them into body parts.:frown1:

 

[Principessa]

Hmmm. Just went over "that thread" and concluded that some men just don't develop stable personalities until their mid twenties. And some women are set much earlier. This would explain a lot of the cultural head butting we witness.

Sadly, some men go well into their 40's and 50's w/o ever developing a stable personality. :frown1:

my sexuality is...complicated.[/QUOTE] Why is that? According to your profile you are bisexual. That's fairly common and most people who are, don't seem as conflicted as you do here.

i think it's more that i'm not a very physical person.
the sex itself does nothing for me really.
i don't orgasm from sex, i don't enjoy the sensations especially.

on a mental/emotional level i can enjoy sex.

What I find downright befuddling is your persistence that you don't enjoy sex. Yet you keep on having it . . . WHY?!?!! Is it sex with men or women that you don't enjoy? If you know you will never orgasm with either sex, then why bother? What do you get out of the act as a person.

is casual sex always the same as just pussy?

No, in my opinion and experience it is not.

 

[dolfette]

Why is that? According to your profile you are bisexual. That's fairly common and most people who are, don't seem as conflicted as you do here.
What I find downright befuddling is your persistence that you don't enjoy sex. Yet you keep on having it . . . WHY?!?!! Is it sex with men or women that you don't enjoy? If you know you will never orgasm with either sex, then why bother? What do you get out of the act as a person.

we could fill a whole thread with trying to understand what makes me tick!
lol
but then we'd have a thread full of people telling me what they think i should be.
*yawn*

this just-a-pussy topic is far more interesting!

 

[D_Eltryngjeme Hardwoode]

Sex encounters are to be treasured and enjoyed - this can only be the case when the consenting partners agree that their sex encounter is for both to have an enjoyable experience. To expect more than that from a casual time together is unrealistic but there are many of us out there who want to treat their possible sex partners with the greatest respect simply for their humanity. I have always respected may sex partners and treated them with great honour and heve never yet had a bad experience.

May I have many more such encounters and build up the ones I am forutnate anought to meet and enjoy sexually through mutual respect

 

[Mule]

Beyond disrespectful. Comments like this make me want to mule-kick the morons that utter them.

 

[Drifterwood]

is casual sex always the same as just pussy?

Not for me at least. When you open that door with an open mind, it can lead anywhere. Dealing with the phenomenal sex that you can experience casually against routine sex in a relationship can be the big problem.

I don't think that I have personally used anyone as a wank-hole, my preference is for respect. Respect for who they are, what they are, how they got there, and what they want or need. I am happy to act like that on the most casual of levels. I have lived my life like that for some time. Casual sex works if both parties have similar standards and expectations. Most women are brought up not to accept this attitude still, and a lot of guys just don't think about it enough. Just my POV.

 

[frizzle]

If I'm just dick to her, she's just pussy to me. Only used on one night stands, not fuck buddies etc.

 

[B_Nick8]

The mindset of any man who made this statement about a woman to me is so reprehensible that I can barely discuss this.

 

[Drifterwood]

The mindset of any man who made this statement about a woman to me is so reprehensible that I can barely discuss this.

Do you feel the same about women who treat men in a similar way, Nick?

Or those who treat us like an accessory? or a meal ticket? or a sperm donor?

 

[Symphonic]

I don't practice the mentality myself, but I do support honesty a lot. I'd rather be told I was just a buddy than be led on anywhere else.

 

[Symphonic]

Hmmm. Just went over "that thread" and concluded that some men just don't develop stable personalities until their mid twenties.

Biologically, no one does.

And some women are set much earlier.

Truth be told, the average is about a year or two ahead of males. This is however traded for intellect.

This would explain a lot of the cultural head butting we witness.

Actually it's because males and females are just build and wired differently. Men generally don't feel sex the way women do, emotionally, physically, spiritually, or otherwise. Generally of course; some men probably do, and vice versa.

 

[dolfette]

Do you feel the same about women who treat men in a similar way, Nick?

Or those who treat us like an accessory? or a meal ticket? or a sperm donor?

that would depend on the situation perhaps...
like if you hire a hooker, you're just paying for pussy.
or if you're answering a no strings personal ad.
or going to a swingers club.
...though i would hope you'd respect them as a human being.

but if you treat just any woman you meet as 'just pussy', whether she's into that or not, is a different matter, no?

two people consenting to a dynamic is different to one person fooling or trying to coerce/bully the other into it.

maybe?

 

[Wish-4-8]

Along those same lines...
A man cheats on his wife.
Still caring she asks, "Do you love her?"
Guy: "No, she was just pussy to me. She meant nothing."

Kind of like the scene in the movie Fatal Attraction.
What about this context?

 

[Wish-4-8]

Instead of calling her "pussy", how about calling her a "fuck".
She was just a fuck.
Is that better, worse, or the same? My guess its the same.

 

[B_Nick8]

Do you feel the same about women who treat men in a similar way, Nick?

Or those who treat us like an accessory? or a meal ticket? or a sperm donor?

Yes.

Well, in all honesty, almost. I have a less visceral reaction because I think fewer do.

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

what do you think of this attitude?
have you been treated this way?
how do you feel about being seen this way?
has society seen a rise in this attitude?
if so, what is the cause?

...or do you think ''he's just dick to me'' yourself?

I've been treated this way a LOT in my life, but only because I "asked" to. I don't mean asked as in, "Hey, will you use me for sex and treat me less-than-human?" I mean it as in... when I was a teenager, I had zero self-esteem, had sex with random guys to feel loved and important, and let people walk all over me.

Now, however, NO one treats me this way, and no one ever will. I know that I have a lot to offer as a person, and if someone doesn't at least respect me as a human being and friend, they're not getting anywhere near my pussy.

There definitely HAS been a rise in this attitude, and I absolutely hate it. I'm sure a lot of it has been caused by media, advertising, and porn. I'm sure there are a lot of other factors, but I think these are the big ones.

I have never in my life felt that some guy was "just a dick" to me. I don't have it in me to feel that way about a person, I think. If I'm having sex with someone, then I care about them in some fashion, whether just as a friend or as in something much much more. I'll never use a person simply for sex.