I found this forum in an off the wall idea to heal myself.
Going out of normal modern route of “Hi, this is me”. I’m gonna ramble instead. Make this therapy and an intro. *rubs hands together* (absolutely going to regret this by morning, even more than just the unchecked typos)
My ship sailed a long time ago. I went from being heavily into horses a lot longer than my female straight friends. Ironically my closest were male, but never in relationships with them. Not that they each didn’t ask in their own time, I was afraid to lose them, as close as we all were. They moved along and married, then their wives not wanting them to have females as friends.. I lost them anyway. Life lessons.
Then went to having elderly parents while young, I had (wanted) to care for, then heavily needed to care for. I don’t regret slaughtering my best years to keep my mum mentally clearer in her own home.. cared for by her offspring who couldn’t even help her in the end.
The past year has been pure hellfire. Setting aside the side flames, the real heat was losing my mum in 17 days out of my care... She tripped on a mat I had just put down for my elderly dog who slipped a lot himself… She was sucked into the horror of a sealed, and unsupervised medical system.. She’s been in a freezer for ten months, delayed by covid and court, (which does something to you, never be the same) been in not so much denial but numb disbelief.
Lost my 16 yr old golden retriever when I really should have eased my goldens elderly health issues about the time I lost my mum, not carried him everywhere five extra months my poor luvie. I just selfishly couldn’t lose him too. Lost my jobs. Losing my home soon. And a boatload other unbelievable problems I’ll keep to myself (I can hear the cheering, shut up. This is my intro post).
Been in denial. Heavy shut down. If I didn’t have my motorcycles and two hours of mind-numbing riding a night (only time you can’t think is riding canyons, thankfully a lot around here, or riding through traffic.. to get to them.) I wouldn’t be here without my bikes.
Living on funds I shouldn’t be living on. I’m running out. That’s when the denial wears off and the body shuts down.
I started getting sick two months ago moving a dusty box kicked off asthma I haven’t had in years. Then a spider bite clearing the garage caused a fever.. then a few others, and now 25 days (and counting) of heavy sleep deprived menorrhagia (don’t look that up) So dizzy can’t even ride my bikes.
After doctors say it’s intense stress the cause. Been stuck between a rock and hard place, and not the good kind. I thought what better way to trick my body into releasing estrogen and move into dropping an egg already, then to look up beautiful pictures of men??
DuckDuckGo lead me to the nature men pictures thread.
Bless you people.
I damn near blinded myself yesterday (and drained phone battery twice) with the 465 pages of really lovely images people have shared here.. it seems to have helped me a little too. Fingers crossed.
Two days ago I never thought I would be on a forum like this, let alone joining one. I never thought I would be sharing this, but why not rip the bandaid? People can scroll. Wish we all could through the bad times, eh?
Anyway. So was lead here by my pants just not the same way as most others have been. Not sure how long I’ll be here. Pleasantly surprised to find some very intelligent and funny in-depth posts (you people rock). Going to dig for more.
I’ve missed old school forums and their ability to encapsulate a decade or two of genuine conversations with genuine people you can flick back through. Modern social media was never a thing for me. To short and cold.
But yeah.. back on track (was I ever?) babe out of water here.
My handle means I devour books.. also ride motorcycles and enjoy tattoos. But who knows? I might join a really kinky forum next. I still have some years to live large. When I get my normal insane Taekwondo-enjoying energy back, that is.
Looking forward to lurk in waters most people first jump into in their teens. Ah, well. Better late than never, right?
Waving, sleep deprived and terribly exhausted to all those who made it this far into my long long long story. Shame on you who scrolled!
I need a beer… or two. Wine. Yes. Maybe wine instead. Or tea and sleep would be just as welcome too. Oh, and a P!nk concert on YouTube, too. Yes. My night set.
.
Going out of normal modern route of “Hi, this is me”. I’m gonna ramble instead. Make this therapy and an intro. *rubs hands together* (absolutely going to regret this by morning, even more than just the unchecked typos)
My ship sailed a long time ago. I went from being heavily into horses a lot longer than my female straight friends. Ironically my closest were male, but never in relationships with them. Not that they each didn’t ask in their own time, I was afraid to lose them, as close as we all were. They moved along and married, then their wives not wanting them to have females as friends.. I lost them anyway. Life lessons.
Then went to having elderly parents while young, I had (wanted) to care for, then heavily needed to care for. I don’t regret slaughtering my best years to keep my mum mentally clearer in her own home.. cared for by her offspring who couldn’t even help her in the end.
The past year has been pure hellfire. Setting aside the side flames, the real heat was losing my mum in 17 days out of my care... She tripped on a mat I had just put down for my elderly dog who slipped a lot himself… She was sucked into the horror of a sealed, and unsupervised medical system.. She’s been in a freezer for ten months, delayed by covid and court, (which does something to you, never be the same) been in not so much denial but numb disbelief.
Lost my 16 yr old golden retriever when I really should have eased my goldens elderly health issues about the time I lost my mum, not carried him everywhere five extra months my poor luvie. I just selfishly couldn’t lose him too. Lost my jobs. Losing my home soon. And a boatload other unbelievable problems I’ll keep to myself (I can hear the cheering, shut up. This is my intro post).
Been in denial. Heavy shut down. If I didn’t have my motorcycles and two hours of mind-numbing riding a night (only time you can’t think is riding canyons, thankfully a lot around here, or riding through traffic.. to get to them.) I wouldn’t be here without my bikes.
Living on funds I shouldn’t be living on. I’m running out. That’s when the denial wears off and the body shuts down.
I started getting sick two months ago moving a dusty box kicked off asthma I haven’t had in years. Then a spider bite clearing the garage caused a fever.. then a few others, and now 25 days (and counting) of heavy sleep deprived menorrhagia (don’t look that up) So dizzy can’t even ride my bikes.
After doctors say it’s intense stress the cause. Been stuck between a rock and hard place, and not the good kind. I thought what better way to trick my body into releasing estrogen and move into dropping an egg already, then to look up beautiful pictures of men??
DuckDuckGo lead me to the nature men pictures thread.
Bless you people.
I damn near blinded myself yesterday (and drained phone battery twice) with the 465 pages of really lovely images people have shared here.. it seems to have helped me a little too. Fingers crossed.
Two days ago I never thought I would be on a forum like this, let alone joining one. I never thought I would be sharing this, but why not rip the bandaid? People can scroll. Wish we all could through the bad times, eh?
Anyway. So was lead here by my pants just not the same way as most others have been. Not sure how long I’ll be here. Pleasantly surprised to find some very intelligent and funny in-depth posts (you people rock). Going to dig for more.
I’ve missed old school forums and their ability to encapsulate a decade or two of genuine conversations with genuine people you can flick back through. Modern social media was never a thing for me. To short and cold.
But yeah.. back on track (was I ever?) babe out of water here.
My handle means I devour books.. also ride motorcycles and enjoy tattoos. But who knows? I might join a really kinky forum next. I still have some years to live large. When I get my normal insane Taekwondo-enjoying energy back, that is.
Looking forward to lurk in waters most people first jump into in their teens. Ah, well. Better late than never, right?
Waving, sleep deprived and terribly exhausted to all those who made it this far into my long long long story. Shame on you who scrolled!
I need a beer… or two. Wine. Yes. Maybe wine instead. Or tea and sleep would be just as welcome too. Oh, and a P!nk concert on YouTube, too. Yes. My night set.
.