D_Hyacinth Harrytwat
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I don't mean to point out the obvious but this is exactly why we get snippy here in the women's forum :tongue: ask women a question and the men will answer.
Short men with tall women
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I don't mean to point out the obvious but this is exactly why we get snippy here in the women's forum :tongue: ask women a question and the men will answer.
I also don't want to point out the obvious also but this question wasn't asked in the women's forum...
D_Hyacinth Harrytwat
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I also don't want to point out the obvious also but this question wasn't asked in the women's forum...
Mumble mumble mumble *foot in mouth*.
You win, captain obvious.
*Vows never to leave the women's forum again and answer threads directed towards other men*
AlteredEgo
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You know, I have to agree with all of the men who suggested that you have to not make height an issue. I'm 5'9", and I used to date shorter men. (Granted, most of these were before I finished growing, but height wasn't important to me at the time.)
I stopped dating shorter men as much because they rolled their eyes when I wore heels, they made me take off my shoes as soon as I got inside, but they'd keep theirs on, and they'd just say and do odd height-related things. As far as I know, none of my break-ups were ever outwardly over height. However, when I met taller guys, the things I didn't like about shorter guys were glaringly, obviously absent. The differences seemed to me to impact every aspect of my relationships, but especially how my interaction with a given man effected my feelings about myself, and in most (but not all) cases, the intensity of our sexual chemistry. All but one of the very worst relationships I had were with short men. It wasn't because they were short; it was (largely) because they were uncomfortable with themselves in general, and that discomfort bleeds into other things. When one apple is spoiled, sometimes the whole barrel appears rotten.
When I first consciously decided to avoid short guys, it wasn't a hard-and-fast rule. It was more of a guideline that was strengthened and re-enforced every time I was with a tall guy. Tall men don't go out of their way to make me feel like a freak for being tall for a woman. Over time, for unrelated reasons I developed a fascination with, and later a fetish for unusually tall men. 'Nother story.
I would probably still be open to short men if I just hadn't met so many who had a problem with being short. If I had met any short men who didn't care much about their height, I would probably have continued to feel like their height was a non-issue. The short men I dated attracted me by being handsome, smart, funny, stylish, bold, and unusual. I think all any man must do, any man, regardless what features he has which he feels make him unpopular, is be his very best self, and be happy with that self. Who can resist someone who appears to be who that one is seeking, and mostly happy with themselves? My only other piece of advice would be to be very selective. I think exclusivity has been the secret to my romantic success. I think the reason for this is that it presents as a certain amount of aloofness, maybe a dash of mystery, and it says, "I find myself too special to be for just anybody. I'll only choose you if you're special too!"
I stopped dating shorter men as much because they rolled their eyes when I wore heels, they made me take off my shoes as soon as I got inside, but they'd keep theirs on, and they'd just say and do odd height-related things. As far as I know, none of my break-ups were ever outwardly over height. However, when I met taller guys, the things I didn't like about shorter guys were glaringly, obviously absent. The differences seemed to me to impact every aspect of my relationships, but especially how my interaction with a given man effected my feelings about myself, and in most (but not all) cases, the intensity of our sexual chemistry. All but one of the very worst relationships I had were with short men. It wasn't because they were short; it was (largely) because they were uncomfortable with themselves in general, and that discomfort bleeds into other things. When one apple is spoiled, sometimes the whole barrel appears rotten.
When I first consciously decided to avoid short guys, it wasn't a hard-and-fast rule. It was more of a guideline that was strengthened and re-enforced every time I was with a tall guy. Tall men don't go out of their way to make me feel like a freak for being tall for a woman. Over time, for unrelated reasons I developed a fascination with, and later a fetish for unusually tall men. 'Nother story.
I would probably still be open to short men if I just hadn't met so many who had a problem with being short. If I had met any short men who didn't care much about their height, I would probably have continued to feel like their height was a non-issue. The short men I dated attracted me by being handsome, smart, funny, stylish, bold, and unusual. I think all any man must do, any man, regardless what features he has which he feels make him unpopular, is be his very best self, and be happy with that self. Who can resist someone who appears to be who that one is seeking, and mostly happy with themselves? My only other piece of advice would be to be very selective. I think exclusivity has been the secret to my romantic success. I think the reason for this is that it presents as a certain amount of aloofness, maybe a dash of mystery, and it says, "I find myself too special to be for just anybody. I'll only choose you if you're special too!"
What if all tall men started consciously avoiding tall women, then you would have a problem wouldn't you?
For all the reasons you think short men should be avoided, there are equally many reasons for men to avoid tall women.
There was a time when people were discriminated against because of their skin color. These days you get discriminated against based on your height. Wonderful world we live in, no?
AlteredEgo
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Is that really the only thing you got from my whole post? If so, it's no wonder you can't date the women to whom you're attracted. You have a one-track mind, and can't fixate on anything other than the fact that some women prefer tall men. I'm an extreme case. But most women, even women who prefer tall men, will date or have no-strings-attached sex with short men if said men are attractive to them in other ways.
The main point of my post was, that if one of the short men I loved (just one!) had been happy enough with himself not to project his height-related insecurities onto me (which in turn poisoned other aspects of our relationships), I might not be married to a giant right now. I might still be with one of them. Maybe I never would have singled out short men for elimination from my dating pool, maybe it never would have gotten to the point where my experiences led me to not even be able to be sexually attracted to short men. (I can't date someone I don't want to fuck, can you?) In fact, I don't date anyone I don't think of as my personal perfect ten. I never settle, because I wouldn't want to find out someone settled when they chose me.
I know you feel like you're discriminated against for something you can't control; I know you think it's unfair. Tough shit, Cupcake: Life is not fair, and all things are never equal. End of. I can't make myself shorter, lighter-complected, darker-complected, straighter-haired, or grow an ass more typical of my ethnicity. I can't shrink my tits, widen my hips, narrow my shoulders, or change my natural eye-color. I can't wake up and suddenly have been born anywhere other than where I was born, and it'll take me a long time to learn any more languages than the two I speak and the one I mangle. I can't change these things. (I wouldn't anyway! I like me for me!) This doesn't change the fact that any of those things has led some men to be disinterested in me in the past.
You know what? I don't care that some people don't dig me. That's great! It makes it all the more special for me that my whole-person attraction to my husband is mutual. Unlike you, I was never under the delusion that everyone who ever caught my eye had to be willing to give me a chance. I never wanted to win someone over, and I never wanted to be won over. My feeling is that for every person, there are a set of people who are looking for someone exactly like them. For every person, there exist those people who think that person has the right temperament, humor, look, emotional capacity, and whatever else they're looking for, for them. So, the giantess red-head over there is ignoring you? Find out what that copper-skinned amazonian behind her thinks. Everyone doesn't have to be jonesing for you, just one person (or a few if you're keeping it casual), for as long as you want them.
And your question is completely irrelevant. It doesn't make sense that all of any one group would do any one thing, ever. The fact that I don't date short men doesn't mean all women like me don't. That's stupid.
D_Hyacinth Harrytwat
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This was such a silly reply to AlteredEgo.
But, humour me: why should men avoid tall women? Not using personal anecdotes or anything, because you make it seem like there are sound reasons for men to avoid tall women.
The woman gave pretty good reasons for not dating shorter men anymore; they made her feel terrible about her height in a million ways a day. Get burned a few times and you stop sticking your hand in th fire, right?
That post did come across as rather thouchy didn't it? There aren't really sound reasons to avoid anyone, unless you don't fancy them. I think it's silly that a sizeable minority of small men have a chip on their sholder about this whole charade. In spite of it, I do have sympathy for them. When it's rubbed into their faces somewhat in the workplace, dating scene, everyday life etc. that taller = better, you can understand why they feel so second rate.
Unfortunately, some take this rather badly. I understand why they feel like that, but I don't condone the way they act on it. The way to challenge the issue is literally try to forget about it. It's propbably the hardest thing to do, to drop one's insecurities, but it's the only damn thing you can do.
"So what if I'm short? I'm successful, funny, confident, smart, kind - I have many strings to my bow" not "Gee whizz, how is everyone going to look past my height issue, I feel so rejected"
The funny thing is, I'm not even short and I used to feel like that, simply because many of my friends are quite literally giants.
No, we're not. And those few men that are as shallow and critical as women, aren't as strict about it as women are.
Women just don't like short guys. Period.
It doesn't matter if he has a good or a bad personality, women will still avoid him if he's short.
You just don't get it.
Why do you think that women avoid/reject short men without even knowing them first?
It's not something you can forget, because, like you said, short men are constantly bombarded with "taller is better", "short men are undesirable/unattractive/non-masculine", "all short men have tiny penises" and other bullshit from women, the society and the media.
Short men are just second rate people/neanderthals in women's eyes.
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Marcus speaks true words. Finally someone who understands the issue. Oh well. You can not expect narrow-minded women to understand.
They fail to properly understand the issue because in the game of dating, men are expected to do all the work and take the first step. It is much easier for a woman to find a mate than it is for a man. The women are used to being the ones who are chased and having the privilege of being the buyers, so they will never understand how difficult some men have it.
There is a principle called "falling in love within a framework" which explains that subconsciously women only allow themselves to be attracted to men who meet very specific demands in terms of physical features (including height!), success, wealth and status. All other guys, no matter how intelligent, nice, self-confident, good-natured...etc, will get screened out before they are even seriously considered. The old advice that you can get any woman you want, even if you are short, fat, poor and ugly, as long as you are self-confident, is utter nonsense spewed by clueless people.
Also, books and dating websites that start by saying "There is someone for everyone" are misleading and are providing a gross distortion of the truth. No there is not someone for everyone, if there was, there would not be so many single, sad and lonely men in the world. There is however someone for those few who meet the very specific requirements women have.
They fail to properly understand the issue because in the game of dating, men are expected to do all the work and take the first step. It is much easier for a woman to find a mate than it is for a man. The women are used to being the ones who are chased and having the privilege of being the buyers, so they will never understand how difficult some men have it.
There is a principle called "falling in love within a framework" which explains that subconsciously women only allow themselves to be attracted to men who meet very specific demands in terms of physical features (including height!), success, wealth and status. All other guys, no matter how intelligent, nice, self-confident, good-natured...etc, will get screened out before they are even seriously considered. The old advice that you can get any woman you want, even if you are short, fat, poor and ugly, as long as you are self-confident, is utter nonsense spewed by clueless people.
Also, books and dating websites that start by saying "There is someone for everyone" are misleading and are providing a gross distortion of the truth. No there is not someone for everyone, if there was, there would not be so many single, sad and lonely men in the world. There is however someone for those few who meet the very specific requirements women have.
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AlteredEgo
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This proves you didn't read a damn' word or that you are a fool. My reasons cannot be reversed on me. It wouldn't make sense to say, "Tall men should learn to avoid tall women because tall women routinely, deliberately, and systematically go out of their way to make tall men feel uncomfortable about being tall." It's just not a true statement, and never would be. If it were true, then it would be totally valid.
I LEARNED to avoid short men because some short men are exactly like you and Marcus. Those short men taught me that short men were more likely to make me suffer in our relationship just because my extremely tall parents didn't hand me enough short genes from my short grandmothers. I bet you know what it's like to become the same height as the parent you most wanted to be like. I never got to be as tall as my mother. (But I never took that out on any men!) Short men asked me to slouch at all times. Short men made nasty comments or rude gestures if I wore heels, and wouldn't stand or walk right next to me. Short men refused to kiss me in public. When tall men allowed me to just be myself, and told me my legs were pretty, what was I supposed to conclude?
Short men who claimed to love me deliberately went out of their way to make me as uncomfortable with my body as they were with theirs. Too bad. When I met them, I had found them to be very physically attractive. I know that not all short men are like that. But you know what? You and Marcus are. No one dates bitter jerks.
And I am sure that not all tall women are twisted, delusional, arrogant, half-brained, insecure, mentally unbalanced freaks of nature like you. No one dates bitter bitches.
No wonder even most tall men avoid tall women like the plague. They know that most tall women (maybe all?) like you suffer from severe attitude problems.
Yes, the feeling is mutual. :wink:
No wonder even most tall men avoid tall women like the plague. They know that most tall women (maybe all?) like you suffer from severe attitude problems.
Yes, the feeling is mutual. :wink:
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AlteredEgo
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I'm not narrow minded just because I'm not attracted to certain types. I chose not to date anyone who was short, stupid, careless with money, uncharitable, or allergic to pets, for instance. These were all deal-breakers for me. Everyone has a list like this, even YOU! If you ask most of my female friends what they think of dating short guys, they'll tell you they don't notice them. But just let a guy come by who is short, but easy to look at: If he speaks to them, they'll definitely notice how handsome, polite, and funny he turns out to be. (But if he makes them feel like his height is an issue, he's out on his ass!)
Because I grew up without any men in my household, men have always made me a little nervous. I never learned to respond well to male attention, because every time a guy checked me out, my mother went off on him. Or, they'd know who my mother was once they got my name, and disappear. No lie! (This is because since I was tall and chesty, I always looked a lot older than I was.) So, even as an adult, When men approached me, they couldn't get anywhere. I always had to be the aggressor. I always had to be the one who was brave and charming. I got rejected quite a bit, too! But that just goes with the territory. Getting guys to like me is a numbers game. Some will, some won't, so what? Your problem is you think everyone should kiss your ass.
Wake up and smell the coffee. All mammals discriminate. Every. Last. One. Including you! You won't even date short girls! Maybe short girls should refuse to date you. (I'm just teasing because that's what YOU always say.)
AlteredEgo
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But I am none of those things. I'm a genius, I'm usually kind to people, and I'm very much a realist. I'm quite mentally stable, and have very high self-esteem, but I don't think I'm better than others. And Not only have I had plenty of minor relationships, and sex partners, but I've also had two very serious relationships, and I wanted to be with everyone I went with. Now I am very happily married, and planning children. So, sorry. You'll have to try that bullshit with the next bitch. Nice try. You lose. Play again later. :wink:
...all in your own screwed-up mind perhaps. Yes you are a legend, I am sure....by your own definition. Everyone is a legend in their own mind.
"You'll have to try that bullshit with the next bitch."
Nice to see that you at least admit being a bitch. Although these days most women take that as a compliment. It's not the insult it used to be in the past.
Oh well.
At least it's good to know that most tall men ignore and reject freaks of nature like yourself, and go for short cute women instead.
Nice try. I win. :wink:
You're such an unsympathetic, arrogant and unintelligent bitch. And your generalizations are just stupid and ignorant.
I couldn't care less about how tall or short a woman is. I don't care if she's 6'6" and love to wear heels. I would still love her and I wouldn't make her feel uncomfortable.
I'm not as stupid, arrogant, mentally unstable and fucked up as you (especially you) women are.
