Shortage of women on dating sites

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by D_lkjhgfdsa1234, Jul 25, 2009.

  1. D_lkjhgfdsa1234

    D_lkjhgfdsa1234 New Member

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    Am I paranoid or is there a shortage of women here in America? I just had one of those rough nights in which most of the clubs I went to tonight was a sausage-fest and the guys greatly outnumbered women. Then when I got home, I logged into craigslist and found only 15 ads for women seeking men and a million ads for men seeking men. Even the women seeking women only had 8 ads. What's going on here? Did all the women get killed by that maniacal Craigslist killer or what? I don't even see many women here on lpsg nor are there as many women in Adultfriendfinder or match.com. It seems craigslist has become a playground for gay sex and I had much more success finding an uncut man to suck than finding a woman to fuck. Then to top it off, I don't even know if they are real or men posing as women and then some of them are cam-whores and aren't really looking for a man or woman. Then the rest are just flat out prudes. If there are as many women as people claim then where are they hiding?
     
  2. poizen-ivy

    poizen-ivy New Member

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    In my experience the chicks get sleazed on, it's not a joyful experience.

    Profiles aren't read properly and generally have nothing in common or what I'm after and before I knew it, an 180 yr old would be hitting on me = NOT IN MY AGE RANGE, READ THE PROFILE!!!
    I promptly gave up.
     
  3. ScorpioSlut

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    Most of what poizen-ivy said is true. The men on those dating sites usually have very little respect for the women there and don't take the care to read what we're looking for. Not that all men are but a majority of them are just looking for some temporary sex and the women are usually looking for something more along the lines of a relationship....and well as it turns out the internet (and especially cragislist) isn't the place to find that.
     
  4. spidergrrrl

    spidergrrrl New Member

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    I'm seconding (thirding?) what poizen-ivy and ScorpioSlut said. Men can be rude, crude, arrogant, sleazy jerks when approaching women. I don't know for whom that approach works (I'm guessing not too many, since they're still looking, but whatever). I've noticed that common decency and respect is just... missing.

    Additionally, I'm adding a few other things I've noticed from my experiences:

    1) Plenty of men have no problem saying what a girl wants to hear (or alternately, hiding something they know the girl *doesn't* want to know).

    2) There is still a bit of a double-standard when it comes to sex. A guy is expected to want sex. A girl who says she's interested in FWB/casual dating is perceived to be an easy target with no standards. Just because I want sex, doesn't mean I want it with *you.*
     
  5. D_lkjhgfdsa1234

    D_lkjhgfdsa1234 New Member

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    I do notice that with the ads put out in craigslist. Most men on men or men on women is about sex or let's fuck tonight as opposed to the 18 ads on craigslist that want a boyfriend. I would go as far as to say that ALL men including myself want sex and are sluts, even your Sunday school priest, but don't know how to ask for sex. I will post another thread on how to be more polite about asking or getting it from open-minded women. I think men are clueless on how to approach women and the millions that post are the ones that don't know how to get it.
    I do know that women want to be understood and have a conversation because that's what makes them human. Some men get sex because they provide that companionship but others give up on a relationship because sex is not in the equation and she is not willing to give it up even for the guy she loves and that's what repulses some guys from the girls that want boyfriends sometimes. I had a girl lead me on and never gave it up for 6 dates of spending my money on dinners and events and that felt unflattering to me. Sex is a way to show the guy he is appreciated though so women should understand that also if they want the boyfriend. I understand I shouldn't have sex and leave thing but 6 dates is absurd especially if she gave it up to other boyfriends in the past.

    Thanks poison-ivy, Scorpioslut, and spider-grrrl for your insight.
     
    #5 D_lkjhgfdsa1234, Jul 25, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2009
  6. poizen-ivy

    poizen-ivy New Member

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    Oh yeah and don't call a female you have never met 'babe', 'sweetie', or 'hon' it's just weird and somewhat demeaning. The guy looks like a cocky tool and you're reconfirming to the female that old tired and beaten path of men just want to get into your pants the quickest way possible and/ or (wait for this mad generalisation) "all men are arseholes".

    "Never gave it up for 6 dates" .... dude, with that attitude, I doubt you'll get anything. What did you want, instant chemistry? or you pay for a dinner and that means you're entitled to sex?

    Clearly she didn't want just sex and the more desperate you get to wanting sex the more we notice and the less appealing you look.

    In a brand new relationship, sex is a way of showing you love someone (or really, really like them) and feel comfortable expressing that side of yourself with them.

    If you just wanted to get laid, get a one night stand.

    "'so women should understand that also if they want the boyfriend."

    Umm WTF? So let me get this right, if I want a boyfriend... I had better put out!?
    ROFL I can just go home to my plastic boyfriend if that's all I needed!

    My point is that if you have chemistry and you can communicate well together, things progress seamlessly and organicly. Not counting down the dates to get your dick wet.

    I don't mean for this to sound like a roasting, but come on, give us something more to chew on here. You just sound like you're objectifying women.
     
    #6 poizen-ivy, Jul 25, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2009
  7. IntoxicatingToxin

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    What they said. ^^
     
  8. voyeuristic

    voyeuristic New Member

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    If you really think a woman owes you sex because you bought her dinner, you should just save the money and hire a prostitute. At least then you'll be _guaranteed_ to get some.
     
  9. D_lkjhgfdsa1234

    D_lkjhgfdsa1234 New Member

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    I don't think they owe me sex but perhaps a kiss at least or some affection is more I am looking for not just to get my dick wet. If I don't get that chemistry than it's off. The girl who didn't put out also didn't kiss. Heck I would settle for kisses until marriage if the chem is right. You can't get kisses from a prostitute by the way and I am not desperate to get my dick wet because I can get that through the porn biz. I don't trust prostitutes by the way because they are less regulated than porn girls so I don't go that route. No thanks. But those that don't give it up should let their boyfriends go elsewhere for sex and have an open relationship.
    I did have a girl date me then she went off having sex with another man. I guess the chem wasn't right there and I should have dumped her and I should have seen that coming. I thought that was a big waste of a half a year as this was a girl I met in college. Not even a kiss. How unflattering and she gave someone else her affection. She even claimed to her friends I was her boyfriend. Girls like this ruin it for others and it messed up my mind to become more methodical so I set limits like 6 dates without sex or a kiss then it's off. Unfortunately most men handle things methodically this way as a means of protection when their ego has been whipped. If I had been in the porn biz back then, I wouldn't have cared because I would find it elsewhere. However, having sex with someone else and not me brings up trust issues. I know I have good hygiene also because other women would sleep with me and I would not waste my time with prudes or girls who aren't physically attracted to me.
     
    #9 D_lkjhgfdsa1234, Jul 26, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2009
  10. AG08

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    I don't think you're going to have too much luck finding women on this website. While there are a few female members, I think the name of the website would be off putting to most women. One of the reasons that I enjoy coming here is that most of the members are male. I stopped using Men's Health forum a few years back because women had pretty much taken over the site and were even dictating what men should and shouldn't talk about. The spineless moderators on that site caved in to their demands, so I left that site and have been coming here ever since. I truly hope that the same thing doesn't happen here that happened at Men's Health forum! I get really annoyed with some women who feel that they have the right to be a part of everything men do and say and constantly invade their space. I come to this site for a male perspective on certain issues that especially concern men. Before anyone gets angry at me for saying this, I have no problem with women being on this site as long as they respect that this is a site primarily for men. I wouldn't dream of going onto a website primarily for women and start dictating to them what they can and can't talk about.
     
  11. D_lkjhgfdsa1234

    D_lkjhgfdsa1234 New Member

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    Actually I would like women here because this is the only site in which I can get women's opinion about large penises, sex, and advice. I never had a sister so this is a way to pick their brains so I can be more successful. The conversation here did get a little rough with the prostitute thing but I am here also to share and compare what men feels about sex to women. This is also a great study guide for sex therapists as they too would see a pattern here about opinions of sex and relationships.
    All men do want their dicks wet but some don't admit it. At least I am honest about it here in this forum. I am also blunt and speak my mind as well because I see the women here as sisters I never had as well. I think women do too but society has labelled them so much they have become targets of ridicule if they don't put up shields. I wish society would change and be more open about open minded sexually women.
    I am at odds in the dating scene as men outnumber women 3 to one in pubs, 1000 to 1 in dating sites, and 30 to 20 in classrooms. I found it odd growing up that teachers claim there are more women than men but in my methodical observation I found it reverse. The more knowledge I am armed with, the more I can be successful in relationships without ruining it.
     
    #11 D_lkjhgfdsa1234, Jul 26, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2009
  12. SR_Blarney_Frank

    SR_Blarney_Frank New Member

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    The reality is that attractive - even marginally attractive - women get hit on everywhere. At the grocery store, at a bar, at the bank, at the airport, etc.

    A single woman can go sit down in a bar and be hit on within 5 minutes. A single guy will sit in a bar all night while people whisper about what kind of loser would sit in a bar alone all night.

    In other words, most women don't need websites to get dates.

    Such is our world.
     
  13. D_lkjhgfdsa1234

    D_lkjhgfdsa1234 New Member

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    She wanted companionship but I wanted physical attraction as well. We were looking for different things so it didn't work out. She midas well date a gay guy if that's what she's looking for. They don't want sex from women.

    That's what I wanted all along!!! Not a lead on.
    I go to the porn biz or if I am lucky in a class....
    Men don't like to be used and lead on like tools to get free meals. If she paid for some of the meals, it would make the relationship more mutual without sex.
     
    #13 D_lkjhgfdsa1234, Jul 26, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2009
  14. poizen-ivy

    poizen-ivy New Member

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    As I said, I do not mean to offend by this, like yourself (Darkseid1998), I appreciate an opinion and also speak my mind.

    I'm sure if you didn't want to hear an honest opinion, you wouldn't have asked.

    Women would never run this forum for one simple reason, we don't have cocks.


    I don't seem to be getting it here, what exactly is questionable about her..having sex with prior partners? So if she doesn't want to have sex with you, she should anyway because you want to!?
    It doesn't work that way. Maybe you reminded her of someone or a relative or god knows, but it doesn't mean she 'should' do anything if she's not into it.

    I'm sorry, but this reminds me of the start if date rape a little too much.

    You could have just talked to her. Sure, you'd have to be delicate, but we are just human too. Asking her "where she sees this heading?" might be a start and not waste anyone's time, end (but hopefully) start on a high note, no worries, the end. At least you know what you start and things would be a little clearer.

    Sure, but women don't like it either, it's a people thing, not a men Vs. women thing. I get that it would sting but it's just one person that doesn't know how to communicate what they actually want. Would you really want to be with someone like that!?
    Besides it's far too predictable and lazy to blame that ye olde sex's debate.

    It's not positive to have expectations prior to dating a person. It can be rather disappointing.

    Getting back on topic, I haven't found dating websites particularly productive. I have found that *some* ppl are on there for a reason, because they are freaky. I prefer to avoid that where possible in life.
     
  15. voyeuristic

    voyeuristic New Member

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    Darkseid, all of your posts seem to reek of anger towards the female half of the species. You mention that we shouldn't "use men for meals", but it takes two to tango. Many times, I've tried to "go dutch" only to have a guy insist on paying - perhaps because, like you, he thought it would make me more likely to put out. You DO have the right to say "Waiter, can we have separate checks?" I've dated guys who split the bill with me and still ended up getting some - not all women are looking for a free meal ticket, and a guy who regards me as an independent entity capable of paying my own way is actually _more_ likely to earn my respect than someone who pays for me. That is, of course, assuming that we're of similar income levels - I just finished school and am barely squeaking by, so if I'm dating a fellow student or person just starting out in their career, this approach makes a lot more sense than if I'm hanging out with someone who has a lucrative IT job where they make 10x as much as me.

    Another thing - I'd be more likely to get involved with a guy who had a small cock than one who admitted to penis enlargement. Try changing your attitude instead of your body, and you might see better results with the ladies. By the way - are you trying to score with supermodels, or would you settle for the cute secretary? You seem to feel that certain things (your height, for instance) are barring you from successfully mating, but maybe you're holding women to similarly arbitrary physical standards.
     
  16. D_lkjhgfdsa1234

    D_lkjhgfdsa1234 New Member

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    I'm sorry about my anger but I've been cheated on, taken advantage of, and dumped on (for my height because they do call me shorty) and I had no one in the female half to turn to growing up. And men are supposed to tolerate that? I hate double standards and that's what all men face. I do express my opinion and I come here for help because I would like to be more prepared for the rough dating scene all men must endure. I am at extreme odds in the dating world and I try my best. I just wish that it is the women that would be more courteous in letting the guy off instead of insulting him and thinking he should take it like a man.
     
  17. poizen-ivy

    poizen-ivy New Member

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    Umm WOW, you really need to drop the chip on your shoulder dude, I mean, we ALL go through things in dating life and life in general.

    I have been cheated on, taken advantage of, dumped via email, used for a meal ticket, been in unhealthy /emotionally abusive relationships, but you just have to realise that they are just human too. No one is perfect, no relationship ever will be.

    I just pick myself up and dust myself off, examine the damage, do the repairs needed and MOVE ON.
    I don't like allowing other people to change the format and make up of who I am because THEY have issues.

    Again, it's a people thing, not a men Vs. women thing.

    A wise and delightfully insightful man once told me: "men hear what they want".
    I believe that you can't help people unless they want to help themselves. You need to change for others to change around you.

    Good luck in your quest :)
     
  18. silverheart

    silverheart New Member

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    my reasons for the shortage of women on dating sites

    1) women don't think about sex as much so they are less likely to browse a dating site

    2) women want a relationship and not a fling which is what they think a lot of those internet guys are about and its true they can be a meat market but what women may not consider is that guys are still about that no matter if they met them in real life or not

    3) as another poster pointed out, women get hit on all the time out in public, even the average looking ones. As they age that's not so much the case but by then they realize they don't need a man as much as they used to.

    4) women need an emotional connection. its much harder to establish that online.

    5) women tend to play it more safe so they aren't going to risk an encounter with a guy they only know from chatting with online. They are more likely to be fixed up through a mutual friend.

    6) women like to feel pursued and online is just too easy for the guy. The men can word things just right and thell the women what they want to hear. women rather have a guy go after them in person cuz they can more accurately gage their personality.

    7) women are more independent these days. they have jobs and can do just find without a man.

    8) and this is just a guess, but i think the alpha males are dating multiple women and huge flocks of wome seem to just be going from one alpha male to another.

    But if u want to find a woman online u have to go through the b.s. sites like e-harmony and match.com where they analyze how date worthy u are and its a lot of non sense to filter out the bad apples. But thats where the women are and it helps to have a nice job cuz on paper thats what these women have to go on. But thats not to say women arent making exceptions because with the way the economy is nobody has a job anymore.
     
    #18 silverheart, Jul 26, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2009
  19. D_lkjhgfdsa1234

    D_lkjhgfdsa1234 New Member

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    poizon-ivy,I wish I can change the height problem but that would never go away. I will change my attitude but if the game remains fixed here in America and I still can't score (I don't mean in a sexual way) then I should pick up and play another game outside the US since I am stuck here for employment reasons. I will give myself until retirement for this but I have had no luck so far in going steady.
    Silverheart, that is great insight about online dating. I have had failures when I post my stats because the woman cannot know my personality and only knows the stats and the short stat is an instant turn off especially when their search is for 6' or above and that guy could be an ass and she'll pick him over me. They then close themselves off after many online failures with tall asses and ruin it for the shorter people. You did answer my question about where they are hiding. They are not online, in pubs, or other public venues but perhaps I should try to meet friend girls to get girlfriends. They can also perhaps put in a good word for me that I am a nice guy. I still don't want to reveal my wealth though because I don't want golddiggers.
     
  20. B_Bonky

    B_Bonky New Member

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    I was actually nerdy enough just after the 2000 census to go online and find out the ratio of women to men in Southern California in my age range and with the racial characteristics I'm looking for.

    If I recall correctly, in LA county the ratio of men to women meeting the above criteria was about 1.10 to 1. That is, 110 men for every 100 women. In Orange County it was 1.15 to 1. In San Diego county it was 1.25 to 1. San Diego was the highest because of the military, I'm assuming.

    So yes, at least in SoCal there are lots more men than women. I hear in NY it's just the opposite.

    Online is still a man's world. Far more dudes are online than girls. If you take online dating too seriously you're in for a world of hurt. You need to have your best photos up, and hit on every woman you find remotely attractive and quickly forget the ones who don't respond or respond in a lukewarm way. It's like playing roulette.

    You lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose.... etc... lose lose lose... etc etc.. lose lose WIN lose lose lose lose.. etc etc etc.

    You can't take rejection at all personally. I sleep with about 6 new women a year in a good year and hit on hundreds online. Hundreds. I have it down to a science and see a success rate of about 2%, consistently. Higher in the summer, lower in the winter.

    Cheapest way of getting poon though, IMHO... 2% success in a bar/club will run you $thousands each year, especially if you're paying just to get into the place. I spend a few $hundred a year on drinks/dinners and have about a 50% fuck rate by the time it gets to that point. But it takes a lot of time, that's for sure.
     
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