Shortage of women on dating sites

[voyeuristic]

Kayden - well, there are a few women like myself out there who _don't_ try to "lie" via push-up bras, make-up, waxing, trick photography, etc., but we're often dismissed by the vast majority of men for not being "glamorous" or "feminine". When you consider how many comments I've gotten on this site about how I need to shave or grow my hair long, you can understand why some women would attempt to cater to the prevalent ideal of hyperfemininity through artifice.

Personally, my own pet peeve in terms of misrepresentation by men is the all-too-common "the only photos of me on the internet involve some sort of hat" trick by guys with thinning hair. Even worse is when they put sunglasses or a scarf at the front of their head to cover up their receding hairline. Isn't it better to be up-front about this sort of stuff from the get-go?

 

[Kayden96]

Kayden - well, there are a few women like myself out there who _don't_ try to "lie" via push-up bras, make-up, waxing, trick photography, etc., but we're often dismissed by the vast majority of men for not being "glamorous" or "feminine". When you consider how many comments I've gotten on this site about how I need to shave or grow my hair long, you can understand why some women would attempt to cater to the prevalent ideal of hyperfemininity through artifice.

Personally, my own pet peeve in terms of misrepresentation by men is the all-too-common "the only photos of me on the internet involve some sort of hat" trick by guys with thinning hair. Even worse is when they put sunglasses or a scarf at the front of their head to cover up their receding hairline. Isn't it better to be up-front about this sort of stuff from the get-go?

You're your own person and that's commendable. If it works for you, keep doing it. More power to you and all that.

I don't look much at guys on dating sites, but the ones I see are generally really creepy old guys (or really creepy young guys) that hit on young girls or the guys that take pictures of their six pack like it's their only selling point.

The hats sound a lot like my experience house shopping. You'd read in the listing that it needs "a little" work and then you'd get there and see that there is spray paint in the carpet, the toilet is in the bathtub, there are holes punched into all the drywall, the fixtures are dangling from ceiling, and the whole basement reeks of mold. Of course, all the pictures showed the beautiful molding (what wasn't torn off) and the bay window and the new stove... that they took with them. It was almost as if they were hoping since you drove 10 minutes to look at it you didn't want to leave empty handed... Hey, maybe if I make myself seem cool, by the time she sees I'm a fat loser, she'll decide to at least stay for dinner since I'm paying. Then, maybe I can complain about my life sooooo much, she'll take pity on me and put out!

There is the other side of the coin though, maybe they just figure people are going to assume they're worse than they seem, so they take every advantage to make themselves look better. If everyone was just honest, we wouldn't need to assume people are lying.

 

[Enid]

Kayden - well, there are a few women like myself out there who _don't_ try to "lie" via push-up bras, make-up, waxing, trick photography, etc., but we're often dismissed by the vast majority of men for not being "glamorous" or "feminine". When you consider how many comments I've gotten on this site about how I need to shave or grow my hair long, you can understand why some women would attempt to cater to the prevalent ideal of hyperfemininity through artifice.

yea, i have been told by a handful of men here i'd be so much prettier if i just wore make-up. but IMO, if you're feminine then you don't need to dress feminine or make yourself into some caricatured version of femininity by wearing oodles of make-up in order to remain feminine.

 

[voyeuristic]

Kayden, I like your real estate analogy. Personally, I'd rather someone meet me with low expectations and be pleasantly surprised than the reverse, but I realize that's not everyone's psychology.

Chrissy, make-up would only detract from your pretty face. You don't need it!

 

[spidergrrrl]

Kayden - well, there are a few women like myself out there who _don't_ try to "lie" via push-up bras, make-up, waxing, trick photography, etc., but we're often dismissed by the vast majority of men for not being "glamorous" or "feminine". When you consider how many comments I've gotten on this site about how I need to shave or grow my hair long, you can understand why some women would attempt to cater to the prevalent ideal of hyperfemininity through artifice.

This is why, on my dating profiles, I tell people up front who/what I am and am not.

I am:
outdoorsy/adventurous
outspoken and opinionated
independent

I am not:
a girly girl (makeup, short skirts, heels, etc)
skinny
a golddigger
submissive or a doormat

I've gotten along quite well with the people who have actually read my profile and contacted me. I don't cater to what other people want, because you would end up with both parties being unhappy - one with being misrepresented to, and me trying to be something I'm not.

 

[poizen-ivy]

This is why, on my dating profiles, I tell people up front who/what I am and am not.

I am:
outdoorsy/adventurous
outspoken and opinionated
independent

I am not:
a girly girl (makeup, short skirts, heels, etc)
skinny
a golddigger
submissive or a doormat

I've gotten along quite well with the people who have actually read my profile and contacted me. I don't cater to what other people want, because you would end up with both parties being unhappy - one with being misrepresented to, and me trying to be something I'm not.

I love it!
We are twins.

I also added:
*If you have a problem with tattoos or piercings and body art in general, we may not be a match.

*I do not want high maintenance, lies, mind games or a manipulator.

*Tight arses
- I once had a meal with a guy who got out a calculator (!!) and he ended up having to pay more than half. That was just embarrassing. Another guy stressed himself over 10 cents... TEN CENTS! Then, I saw him take the tip back that we'd left as we were leaving. Poor form.
That kinda thing does not interest me at all.

When I first tried internet dating years ago, it was new to me and so I thought "Why not!" and gave it a go.

Guy 1.
He lied about his age

He had sent photos of himself 15 years younger so he appeared younger, fitter, healthier, not balding etc (Which was his own insecurities because if he'd had been honest, I would still have been fine with it)

Lied about having certain interests to appeal to women, so when I enquired, he'd forgotten what he'd put on there and told me what his real interests were. I'm sorry, but yachting is not classed as a sport in my mind. That will not make anyone 'athletic' in my eyes.

Within 15 mins of meeting in a park before heading to a cafe for a coffee he leaned in to kiss me. When I pulled away and said no he dropped it for about 5 mins and then tried to pressure me to kiss him again.

He was trying to hurry me as he had a "BBQ to get back to" which he also mentioned he'd see if he'd try and (I quote) "score" there also.

That was it, I was outta there!
Shortest date in history.

Guy 2.
Gave me a false name and slipped up. He said he thought the internet was unsafe.... oh dear. I think it's unsafe due to himself being a knob end, I just couldn't take him seriously then.
He was interested but he blew his chance with the wrong name thing the whole night.

Guy 3.
Again with the lying and ended up being a virgin!!
Did he think I wouldn't realise!?
I just can't stand the lying.

The sad part is that all of them just needed to be honest and there would have been no problems. Instead it wasted eveyones time and energy and one less female on a dating site.

 

[spidergrrrl]

I love it!
We are twins.

I also added:
*If you have a problem with tattoos or piercings and body art in general, we may not be a match.

*I do not want high maintenance, lies, mind games or a manipulator.

Oh yes, I mentioned tats on my profile as well. I've also got a piercing, but I don't mention that because it just brings unwanted attention. I also tell people that I'm non-religious and not interested in kids. That tends to cut down my responses, but I don't care

I've had my share of less-than-stellar meetings from online dating, but I figure at the very least, I've got good stories to tell. To be perfectly fair, I've also met some quite nice men as well. I just have to learn to be realistic, and not take things too personally, you know?

 

[minimag]

Excellent bullet points.

 

[D_lkjhgfdsa1234]

I love it!
We are twins.

I also added:
*If you have a problem with tattoos or piercings and body art in general, we may not be a match.

*I do not want high maintenance, lies, mind games or a manipulator.

*Tight arses
- I once had a meal with a guy who got out a calculator (!!) and he ended up having to pay more than half. That was just embarrassing. Another guy stressed himself over 10 cents... TEN CENTS! Then, I saw him take the tip back that we'd left as we were leaving. Poor form.
That kinda thing does not interest me at all.

When I first tried internet dating years ago, it was new to me and so I thought "Why not!" and gave it a go.

Guy 1.
He lied about his age

He had sent photos of himself 15 years younger so he appeared younger, fitter, healthier, not balding etc (Which was his own insecurities because if he'd had been honest, I would still have been fine with it)

Lied about having certain interests to appeal to women, so when I enquired, he'd forgotten what he'd put on there and told me what his real interests were. I'm sorry, but yachting is not classed as a sport in my mind. That will not make anyone 'athletic' in my eyes.

Within 15 mins of meeting in a park before heading to a cafe for a coffee he leaned in to kiss me. When I pulled away and said no he dropped it for about 5 mins and then tried to pressure me to kiss him again.

He was trying to hurry me as he had a "BBQ to get back to" which he also mentioned he'd see if he'd try and (I quote) "score" there also.

That was it, I was outta there!
Shortest date in history.

Guy 2.
Gave me a false name and slipped up. He said he thought the internet was unsafe.... oh dear. I think it's unsafe due to himself being a knob end, I just couldn't take him seriously then.
He was interested but he blew his chance with the wrong name thing the whole night.

Guy 3.
Again with the lying and ended up being a virgin!!
Did he think I wouldn't realise!?
I just can't stand the lying.

The sad part is that all of them just needed to be honest and there would have been no problems. Instead it wasted eveyones time and energy and one less female on a dating site.

I find there is no point in lying on your profile as the person responding will find out anyway when they meet you. Also you have to keep track of all your lies and be consistent. I write the truth and since men have less chance of meeting women on these dating sites, I get no response. Already most women pass my profile for the height thing and the fact I am not interested in single moms but if I don't put that down and lie that I am 6 feet, they'll meet me and see I am only 5'5". Women have a much higher chance of getting a guy but I have to agree with you that there is a lack of quality guys that fuck things up for the good guys. They are my competition and there is too much competition for me to be on those online dating sites. Since American women find me, "unattractive", I decided to get a passport and travel around the world to find less shallow women. Some countries had shallow women but other countries I found gems and wished I didn't have to come back to the USA. And no, I am not looking for someone to cook and clean, just someone who doesn't care about height or some other dumb reason and only cares to meet me and have a nice companionship with me. I don't even care if she is a nun, unless she forbids me to go to prostitutes or porn actresses. I got my jollies on in brothels before going to clubs and had great times with these girls. And as a bonus, she gives me more pussy. Also I noticed that the ratio of men to women on the foreign sites were 50/50 instead of 1021/1!! Can't find that in the states. Too much drama here.

 

[minimag]

They are my competition and there is too much competition for me to be on those online dating sites. Since American women find me, "unattractive", I decided to get a passport and travel around the world to find less shallow women.

Geez, you must really be a horn-dog. Despite the fact that my last date was nearly 15 years ago, I've never had the urge to visit a prostitute or brothel. I've been half-way around the world a half-dozen times, but never had the desire to "bang a foreign-babe."

Fortunately, I have the means to travel anywhere in the world I wish to go, but I'd never go on some perverted whirlwind sex-tour of South East Asia or anywhere else for that matter.

People need to learn some self-control and willpower.

 

[D_lkjhgfdsa1234]

Geez, you must really be a horn-dog. Despite the fact that my last date was nearly 15 years ago, I've never had the urge to visit a prostitute or brothel. I've been half-way around the world a half-dozen times, but never had the desire to "bang a foreign-babe."

Fortunately, I have the means to travel anywhere in the world I wish to go, but I'd never go on some perverted whirlwind sex-tour of South East Asia or anywhere else for that matter.

People need to learn some self-control and willpower.

Most men are horn dogs and I admit to being one of them. I love sex and must compromise to having it in a relationship. If she doesn't want to provide, I'll still be her companion but I'll need to get some. She doesn't have to worry about me getting a disease anyway because she will close herself off at menopause (the name says it all men-o-pause).

 

[minimag]

Most men are horn dogs and I admit to being one of them.

Admitting it is the first step to recovery, hahaha.

What I want from a lady is a decent conversation, without her assuming I have an ulterior motive. Considering I work 60-80 hrs/wk in a male dominated industry, I find the conversation to be seriously lacking. I don't give a rat's ass about cars, boats, or sports. I'd sooner watch paint dry than participate in a conversation about how to turbo-charge a SeaDoo.

What has two thumbs and doesn't care about a fuel-injected riding lawn-mower? *this guy*

 

[poizen-ivy]

Admitting it is the first step to recovery, hahaha.

What I want from a lady is a decent conversation, without her assuming I have an ulterior motive. Considering I work 60-80 hrs/wk in a male dominated industry, I find the conversation to be seriously lacking. I don't give a rat's ass about cars, boats, or sports. I'd sooner watch paint dry than participate in a conversation about how to turbo-charge a SeaDoo.

What has two thumbs and doesn't care about a fuel-injected riding lawn-mower? *this guy*

Oh hell yes.
Where have you been hiding? I've been looking for you everywhere!!

 

[minimag]

Oh hell yes.
Where have you been hiding? I've been looking for you everywhere!!

If you were looking for me in Sydney, it's no small wonder you didn't find me. When I was vacationing in Australia I got completely lost in Sydney. I just wanted to take a quick stroll around the block. Took me all damn day to find my way back to the hotel, but it was a very scenic walk. Somehow I ended up on top of one of the Harbour Bridge tower look-outs, hahaha.

 

[D_lkjhgfdsa1234]

Admitting it is the first step to recovery, hahaha.

What I want from a lady is a decent conversation, without her assuming I have an ulterior motive. Considering I work 60-80 hrs/wk in a male dominated industry, I find the conversation to be seriously lacking. I don't give a rat's ass about cars, boats, or sports. I'd sooner watch paint dry than participate in a conversation about how to turbo-charge a SeaDoo.

What has two thumbs and doesn't care about a fuel-injected riding lawn-mower? *this guy*

Once i can dump my ulterior motive in some other girl, I am satisfied and no longer need it. A conversation will become my prime motive and sex will no longer be an issue. Perhaps I should go to bars after a porn shoot or after going to a brothel. That seems to work when I travel or when I meet women in pubs. Okay, now I get it. Women have different priorities than men. Women want to connect and have a meaningful conversation over sex. That is why I must rid myself of all carnal instincts before approaching them by seeking sex elsewhere. I would let the woman control the sex part of the relationship because I don't want to ruin a good thing.
This is what seems to save marriages in Germany. What I noticed is most married German men go to brothels to get satisfied sexually but go home to their wives as best friends. Germany has a far less divorce rate than the US where brothels are illegal in 49 states. Sex becomes a non-priority in a marriage and as best friends, they no longer have to dump each other should they both become old and ghastly looking. In the states, sex becomes an issue and there is no outlet in most places to treat that urge. The only place left is the wife but then she controls the "supply" of it and if she denies, the husband divorces. Then if she denies, the husband my seek an affair or another girlfriend on the side to sexually satisfy him and that can lead to disaster because the girlfriend is not a no strings attached thing unlike brothels. I think that sexual needs should be satisfied away from relationships and that sex and relationships should be kept separate. A wife should not have to provide sex and she only should provide the kids and a solid friendship to the end.

 

[minimag]

Once i can dump my ulterior motive in some other girl, I am satisfied and no longer need it.

So what do you do 30 minutes later when your "ulterior motive" is ready for another go?

Seems like it'd just turn into a really predictable sit-com episode where one character tries to juggle multiple women.

If a wife/girlfriend feels the need to "withhold" sex from the guy, maybe it's because he's lousy at the lovin'. If the guy were even half-good, the wife/girlfriend would end up punishing herself along with the guy by "withholding."

How much of a "whiny bitch" is a guy that complains about his lady "withholding" ??
All it takes for a guy to get-off is a dirty magazine and 5 minutes of free time.

 

[D_lkjhgfdsa1234]

It does make sense though. You have to eat before you go clothing shopping or else you'll be hungry and your hunger will side-track you from clothing shopping. If hunger still sidetracks you even after you eat, there's something wrong because that makes you a glutton. Same thing with finding a companion versus getting laid. Get the sex out of the way first then do your thing to get a girl. If you have to have another go, leave the club and do another prostitute then come back and talk to the girl when your mind is clean. By the way, I need my dick in a pussy and masturbation doesn't do it for me. I could afford a prostitute or a night with an erotic model so I could feed that urge then go get a date. Problem solved. No more complaints or whining about a girl withholding as long as I can go elsewhere for it. Just because a girl holds out doesn't mean you should blame yourself because SHE made the decision to hold out. If your past girlfriends say your good, your good. Perhaps she already became a nun because of a former boyfriend that was the lousy lover and she doesn't want to give anyone else a chance. Doesn't make it your fault.