Tried on a few more pairs of casual shorts at Marshall's tonight. If they fit in the waist, they're too small in the front. My wife says, "Story of your life." What's up with the contemporary style of snug flat fronts and slim cut legs on short pants? Even without the frontal endowment, some actual real-life men have muscular thighs. Maybe if I weren't a member of the LPSG and had skinny chicken legs I wouldn't have this problem. Resolved: I will have penis reduction surgery and quit lifting manly weights.