Should I be an open book...?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by galaxus, Apr 4, 2008.

  1. galaxus

    galaxus Member

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    I live my life pretty open. I feel that I have nothing to hide. If someone ask me a question, no mater how personal, i'll answer them honestly.

    I'm not saying that i'll give my social sercurity number away.

    I'm talking about sharing the way you feel, think, and operate.

    Should you/we/I be an open book to people....?
     
  2. SyddyKitty

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    If you have emotional issues, being an open book often pushes people away (personal experiences). Otherwise, I don't see the problem.
     
  3. 8060

    Verified Gold Member

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    I think that's a perfect way to live, especially having an intimate conversation. It can have the potential to drive people to extend you the same courtesy.
     
  4. christina

    christina New Member

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    thats how it should be its just to bad that more ppl arent like that
     
  5. Damian Johnson

    Damian Johnson New Member

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    Always keep a part of you back and private. People like a bit of mystery and being to open means u are also open to getting hurt. Keep your weaknesses and any insecurities or doubts about yourself private. That's my advice. Take it or leave it but its meant well dude xx
     
  6. Damian Johnson

    Damian Johnson New Member

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    How we ideally should behave and how we adapt our behaviour in order to thrive survive and protect ourselves are very different things.

    Our modern world has become very hard. Its dog eat dog and money and power sadly rule all. Especially in the usa russian and uk economies where money drives everything in society. Bleak but true.

    In this environment its important to always keep a good bit of yourself closed and private. Not only is a bit of mystery alluring sexy and appealing but being a bit closed keeps people keen and wanting to know more.

    Also by keeping back anything that someone could use to hurt u is also an important self defense mechanism.

    We sadly don't live in a disney fairy tale. Its more like the bladerunner movie
     
  7. Phil Ayesho

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    ah...
    truth is brutal.

    when you are telling the truth about what you think, always, then you are disregarding any possible effect your thoughts and feeling might have on another...
    That is self centered...

    Social animals can lie because it is better for society that you develop an awareness as what can and can not be said without injury to your self or others... without damaging your social standing.



    Telling your boss his comb over looks laughable may be accurate as to how you feel... but it hurts him and will likely result in him hurting your career in return.


    But the worst is when intimate couples start to get the idea that they can just spout off any damn thing in their mind to their mate in the name of truthfulness.

    The most unattractive thing in today's society is the way couples who have been together a while feel free to just lay into each other with the most cutting remarks...


    While I am in favor of living truthfully... that is, making sure your actions are in alignment with your stated beliefs and ethics... I think being truthful about our feelings all the time is barbaric, and one of the biggest reasons relationships don't last.

    My wife may do something that I immediately react to with a flush of anger... but is that the response I want to voice when it will probably pass... when sober reflection reveals to me that my angry response was excessive... that the transgression was unimportant...

    Which is more important.... how I feel at this moment?... or how I feel about her as my mate... as the person I want to spend my life with?

    Telling her, hours later, that I am sorry does not undo a harsh word.



    Keep in mind that words said can never be unsaid...

    And, unless it really matters...

    Keep it to yourself.
     
  8. MrGoodDate

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    Hmmmmm.
    Problem is there are things you do not know about yourself.
    Every one has things known by all;
    things known to others but not known to self;
    things unknown anyone except God.
    And things we think others do not know.
    Too much self talk is self centered and boring !!!
     
  9. solexes

    solexes New Member

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    In my book - honesty rates above all else...

    That being said...

    I don't think you should LIE - but definately be diplomatic. Thats one thing us American's have a problems with.

    American 1 - is typical asshole truthfull American
    American 2 - is typical asshole butt kisser - lies to cover up problems
    American 3 - is diplomatic and honest.

    Boss has a horrid combover.

    American 1: Wow - nice hair baldy.
    American 2: You're bald? I never would have noticed unless you told me!

    American 3: Sir - I think that wearing our hair the way it was meant to be worn is the best way to go. Look at great men who have done so - they don't hide it - and I don't think you should too! Power is in accepting yourself.

    In relationships - when asked I am truthfull.

    I dated dumb young things who were cute just because they were cute.
    I let someone walk all over me because the sex was good and I was insecure at the time.
    I made mistakes when I was younger and used to just line up as many guys as I could because I could. I don't do that now though.

    Honesty is good. What if you're in a relationship:

    Them: Have you ever had sex for money?
    You: Never

    later - they find out you blew a guy for $20 in a park.

    Them: I thought you said you never had sex for money!?

    Now you're caught in a lie...

    You could have said

    "We all make mistakes in life - yes I did once."

    They might not like it - but its true.

    In the end - its all up to you....
     
  10. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    Being an open book and being truthful can be a dangerous thing, and of course it does depend on who you are talking to.
    Some people ask for the truth, but, you know full well that what they will hear is not what they want to know.
    Remember there are many, many versions of truth.
    There is the warts and all truth. (Never recommended)
    The sugar coated truth.
    The abridged, reader's digest truth.
    The wishful thinking truth.
    Omission truth.
    And saying nothing.
    Then off course you can always dissemble and prevaricate.
    Just don't lie.
    (LIE is an ugly, ugly word and I rarely use it).
     
  11. dong20

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    My general approach when being asked is; "If you aren't willing to accept an honest answer, don't ask the question."

    On the flip side, dispensing unprompted potentially harmful, unwelcome or even hurtful information, honestly or not is often a tougher call, and one that's hard to generalise.

    In both these scenarios, sometimes only naked truth will suffice, but often there's a way of being honest without undue brutality. It's usually worth a little effort. While lying is often done to protect the liar as much as the 'feelings' of the recipient, and is sometimes justified, I'll almost invariably take silence over malicious dishonesty any day.
     
  12. bruce-e

    bruce-e Member

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    Honesty is the best policy, diplomicy.... as Ms.Stewart say's "it's a good thing"
     
  13. birocker

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    Be open and honest. Unless you are trying to scam people.... LOL
     
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