Should I cheat to get his attention?

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Are you in good shape? I cannot tell from youe pictures. Sometimes it could be that and the man doesnt know how to say anything. I dunno, im sorry ur in this situation.
 

SprinkleMe69

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ED....I have to say I detest those commercials with the ladies talking about his ED. Like dick in and out of pussy is the only form of sexual interaction.

I also detest that some men assume if the woman's in shape or not; like a woman must, by any means possible, look a certain way to get dick. Puh-leez.
 
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Black_Frost

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Wow. Some of these answers....

If he's on antidepressants, that could well be the cause of his reduced or nonexistent libido. Last I checked, Wellbutrin was the only antidepressant that didn't lower libido in males, but that may've changed since. Might be worth talking to his prescribing doctor about it.

Also, he may have ED issues, related to the antidepressants or not. But if that's the case, there's a helluva lot he could do, besides penile intercourse, to get you off. If he does have ED issues, he may be feeling too humiliated and depressed to discuss them. Our culture is brutal toward men who can't get it up.

And no, the fact that he's not screwing you doesn't mean that he's either closeted and gay, or getting it somewhere else. He could simply be masturbating as an outlet, or his libido may be so low (due to antidepressants or hormonal issues) that he just doesn't feel the urge.

Personally, if you're in a monogamous relationship, I wouldn't advise cheating. It rarely ends well. I'd advise talking about it -- without accusations, recriminations, or ultimatums, and seeing if you both can't work out a solution together. It may be "Don't ask, don't tell." It may be a threesome or cuckolding. It may be polyamory. It may be monogamy with sex toys, or with him learning to be a finger or tongue artist.

And if he isn't willing to change anything, and still demands monogamy, then you have some tough decisions to make. And I wouldn't envy you any of them.

Best of luck to you, in any case. Hoping you find a workable and acceptable solution for you both.
 

flynn

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I'm 68 and still love sex. It's always been play to me. Maybe he doesn't view it as play anymore or maybe he never did. I have only read your side of the problem so I don't know the full story. However, having said that, I have never turned down sex with a woman so I can't relate to a man who would do that on a regular basis. Especially if the woman looked as good as you do.
 

Stratavos

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Have been so patient for so long. I'm getting desperate. How can I make my husband take our lack of a sex life seriously? This has been going on for several years. He agrees it's a prob and vows to work toward change but then doesn't. Advice? Men or women of lpsg - what can I do to show him I'm serious and need him to take me seriously??

threaten divorce? ask about opening the relationship? you're not getting what you need, is there really much wrong with going out to get it? if the current arrangement isn't working, you should probably have a solid conversation about solving the problem. If it's that He's just not interested anymore, then work on getting that permission to go find others who are interested.

It's never worth cheating, unless you can live with lying for a very long time.
 

B79

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Wow. Some of these answers....

If he's on antidepressants, that could well be the cause of his reduced or nonexistent libido. Last I checked, Wellbutrin was the only antidepressant that didn't lower libido in males, but that may've changed since. Might be worth talking to his prescribing doctor about it.

Also, he may have ED issues, related to the antidepressants or not. But if that's the case, there's a helluva lot he could do, besides penile intercourse, to get you off. If he does have ED issues, he may be feeling too humiliated and depressed to discuss them. Our culture is brutal toward men who can't get it up.

And no, the fact that he's not screwing you doesn't mean that he's either closeted and gay, or getting it somewhere else. He could simply be masturbating as an outlet, or his libido may be so low (due to antidepressants or hormonal issues) that he just doesn't feel the urge.

Personally, if you're in a monogamous relationship, I wouldn't advise cheating. It rarely ends well. I'd advise talking about it -- without accusations, recriminations, or ultimatums, and seeing if you both can't work out a solution together. It may be "Don't ask, don't tell." It may be a threesome or cuckolding. It may be polyamory. It may be monogamy with sex toys, or with him learning to be a finger or tongue artist.

And if he isn't willing to change anything, and still demands monogamy, then you have some tough decisions to make. And I wouldn't envy you any of them.

Best of luck to you, in any case. Hoping you find a workable and acceptable solution for you both.

Yeah but Antidepressants mess with Testosterone in a negative way...
Most times people low normal in thyroid, Testosterone etc are prescribed thesr antidepressants to treat symptoms that are usually the cause of hormonal problems.
 

n3150n

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Rather than "cheating" (i.e. going behind his back), can you not simply say that you're not getting what you need to make you happy, and if he can't or won't provide it then you would like to get it somewhere else? Emphasise that this is simply a physical problem that you need to address in order to ensure your quality of life, that you do not want to leave him but you simply aren't satisfied with the current arrangement and these feelings are only going to strengthen if it continues. It's an ultimatum of sorts but hopefully he can see that you're trying to think of a way for both of you to get what you need without ending your relationship.

The important thing in my view is that everything is out in the open, you're not hiding anything from him or doing anything that he is not forewarned about. If he is unable to perform sexually for whatever reason, but is honestly interested in your well-being and fulfilment then I believe he should be willing to compromise and reach some sort of agreement that preserves your relationship without sacrificing your happiness. If he's willing you could perhaps try and include him in some way, let him help choose your partner or watch while you do it?

As always I think the important thing is to talk and try and work something out between yourselves, sharing your needs/desires/fears and coming up with small changes that both sides can agree on but will ease your suffering without causing him to much pain. I know you've mentioned counselling etc, but it doesn't hurt to re-iterate - talking is key to understanding, agreement and ultimately satisfaction.
 

lafever

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Have been so patient for so long. I'm getting desperate. How can I make my husband take our lack of a sex life seriously? This has been going on for several years. He agrees it's a prob and vows to work toward change but then doesn't. Advice? Men or women of lpsg - what can I do to show him I'm serious and need him to take me seriously??
Whenever you can get away with it masturbate right in front of him, eventually he'll get it and get with it.

C.
 

AlteredEgo

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Whenever you can get away with it masturbate right in front of him, eventually he'll get it and get with it.

C.
That didn't work for me. He just asked me to go to the living room until I was done. Should have left him then and there. We are much better as friends than we were as a couple. I'm much happier. He's not, but there's nothing I can do about that.
 

Wildbig

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That's the best advice yet. Devote some time to just be together, no pressure, no rush. What brought you together in the first place is still there. Just take the time to flame the embers. Have a great time!
 

JustaSkinnyguy

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The questions people ask on this site. Would a straight guy let a gay guy blow him and now should a female cheat on a guy to get his attention? First off no person who had class would cheat period or tolerated anybody cheating on them. Second females love to say sex isn't important and accuse guys of only wanting sex. If this was the case then why is sex so important to females then? 3rd why are relationships so important to females? There is more to life than relationships.

Do something else with your life besides worry about sex or relationships how about that? Try to better yourself, become a better person. Read a book, go back to school or go to school and learn a skill. Do something important with your life.
 

AlteredEgo

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The questions people ask on this site. Would a straight guy let a gay guy blow him and now should a female cheat on a guy to get his attention? First off no person who had class would cheat period or tolerated anybody cheating on them. Second females love to say sex isn't important and accuse guys of only wanting sex. If this was the case then why is sex so important to females then? 3rd why are relationships so important to females? There is more to life than relationships.

Do something else with your life besides worry about sex or relationships how about that? Try to better yourself, become a better person. Read a book, go back to school or go to school and learn a skill. Do something important with your life.

What are you doing with your life that's so great? What puts you in a position to judge? One might say that no one with any class would use grammar as flawed as yours. One might say a person with class doesn't hang out on a big-dick porn site criticizing the inquiries of others. One might.

Show me ONE place where the original poster has ever denigrated men, accusing them of being interested only in sex. Show me just one place where she posted that sex wasn't important to her. You cannot, yet here you are painting all women with the same broad strokes from the same shit-smeared brush. Newsflash: sex is important to many people, especially those who would actively participate here. If you don't like it, shut the fuck up on your way to getting the fuck out.
 

Brisler

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Do something else with your life besides worry about sex or relationships how about that? Try to better yourself, become a better person. Read a book, go back to school or go to school and learn a skill. Do something important with your life.

You should make that your signature how about that?
 

bar4doug

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Have been so patient for so long. I'm getting desperate. How can I make my husband take our lack of a sex life seriously? This has been going on for several years. He agrees it's a prob and vows to work toward change but then doesn't. Advice? Men or women of lpsg - what can I do to show him I'm serious and need him to take me seriously??

What would you do if he cheated on you?

It's quite possible he is just not that into you anymore... What good does cheating on him do?

My guess it that is creates more problems than it solves....