Should I come back?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by B_Mademoiselle Rouge, Mar 11, 2008.

  1. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    I know this is a weird question....and since i came back for the "Ban Me" thread i suppose i'm already here. But i stated a few of my reasons for leaving, that LPSG was was too time consuming. Some of you do have thicker skin than others, but those like myself who have SAD, are bothered more by what others think. I don't want to be here if I'm going to be heckled about my political beliefs or because i update my gallery often and periodically post videos on the Adult Videos board, i saw that a few people didnt want me to come back and thats their opinion even if it hurt to read.

    I felt like i invested a lot of time here but if i had it to do all over again- I wouldnt have posted pics and vids without earning rapport, as this ended up making some throw up a wall and doubt my credibility when i approached subjects of respecting women. I don't feel that posting my own material warrants me to not be able to post how a woman might feel in situations where her personal photos are being used on a predominantly male, sex-related site without her knowledge. I got pretty angry about being told that I have no right to exclaim that it could be considered creepy and stalkerish. It kind of threw me over the edge to not want to be here if that was how i was seen. This particular situation involved men that i would like to believe would never go over the line by these pictures. But at the same time, someone in real life began to do the same thing to me and then it fed this desire for him to get this elaborate plan about how to obtain me. I think it's wise to assume that there are also people who would go that far on LPSG, im sure there arent many, but i think my own life made me stop and realize what might occur over the posting of casual pics of women that didnt know they were being posted here for sexual critique.

    Like many of you i have a personal life and i have issues that i've been working on while i've been away. But i do miss LPSG and my friends here. I've kept in touch with many of you in Yahoo Messenger.

    Posting again has this warm, familiar feeling to me but my own anxiety about investing much if im marked as some "stripper" who has nothing more to offer even if she has a college degree. I took down my photos to further prove that i don't have to show my body off in order to have a place here.

    There is a double standard in the world as far as sexuality goes for women and men. A man can post pictures of his naked body right off the bat and have a perfect body and huge cock and not many raise suspicion to doubt him. If a woman comes on here she is often labeled and faker and i know why. I've more than proven myself that i am a female. But i feel like i have more to prove that i am more than just eye candy.

    To sum it all up, i wanted to throw all of this out there because i realize where i might have offended some or just plain pissed people off. I was hoping it would start a trend of other women participating in the Adult Vids board. I realize that many arent as comfortable doing that or are single and not sure if they want it out there for all to see. I don't have as much to worry about as others. When i saw the backlash about my posting videos and it receiving attention back in December, i quit making and posting videos.

    LPSG has been a huge source of inspiration in my own bedroom. The subjects approached around here are often very erotic and gave me a lot to look forward to when my husband got home from work. We didn't have much sex prior to me finding LPSG. We've had more sex in 2 weeks than we did in one year before finding this place. It has been a big deal in my life to share my own sexuality because it has always been deemed a little inappropriate or unusual in my personal life. There are few that i can be this candid with.

    I was always shy and never dreamed i could post videos but once i saw how much i appreciated others amateur videos i couldnt help but want to do it too. I was getting immune to porn at that point and then amateur opened my eyes. The biggest compliments i received were from fellow women because there arent enough erotic videos geared to their tastes.

    Around the time of my leaving i was faced with something in my person life that was more serious than anything i had dealt with in my adult life and I'm still not sure how to handle it. I've began to deal with addictions, including LPSG and i'm in the process of turning over a new leaf in my life. I've made some obvious changes to one of my recognizable attributes, it not only helps with anonymity in my own situation going on privately, it symbolizes much more.

    I felt so free when i could share my videos and photos here but none of it was worth it to be a nuisance. Some have told me "Fuck them if they don't like it" others have been incredibly intuitive to notice when i began to lose my way around here and correlate it to when i stopped making the vids.

    When Nine_Inch_Cock left and posted his story under another name it inspired me to change some things in my own life. Maybe i shouldnt share these things here, but i'm hoping those who judged me solely on the visual aspect will stop and see that I'm not an exhibitionist in my real life. I'm a very private person. Under a screen name and on the internet you can post things you wouldnt show you to your family and friends. It's much easier to use LPSG as a medium for expressing your sexuality.

    I'm rambling on here. I miss this place and i really miss what it was like when i first came. Sadly, i contributed to the combativeness that ultimately landed me in a 7 day ban. I know once i combat some of the other issues in my personal life, which cause me to hermit myself thus resulting in being here so damn much, i wont need to be here as much.

    I didnt want to come back and be pushed away.
    Bedheadred
     
  2. D_Tintagel_Demondong

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    Who would push you away? You know, there are alot of losers out there who desperately want attention from you, even if it's negative. They'll even be abusive with you in order to get your attention. Just ignore them and move on. It's a shame that posting your photos or videos got these guys so worked up.

    I have enjoyed your posts and our chats. I am glad that you are giving LPSG a second try.
     
  3. B_dumbcow

    B_dumbcow New Member

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    Of course we would all love you to come back, Bedhead.
    But you must think of what would be best for you. If you are changing your ways, maybe it would be best to leave LPSG for a while, for your own good.
    you have obviously learned valued things here, but if you feel addicted then maybe limit your posts or time on the site. Or even go cold turkey...

    Anywho, I hope that any other problems will be resolved soon and that you can lead a happier life in the future...

    If I were you, I would do what you think would be best for you, and what would help you most in your future.



    And we all love you :smile:
     
  4. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    I'm stepping back in cautiously. It feels better to reveal a little more about myself publicly. It's easy to see someone as just fodder for masturbation around here. It's probably surprising as hell to think that I'm pretty damn modest in real life and didn't have much sex the first 9 years of my marriage. While my husband doesnt like me spending much time here, i will say he's pretty happy about getting a lot more sex!
     
  5. D_Roland_D_Hay

    D_Roland_D_Hay Account Disabled

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    My opinion for what it is worth: There are always going to be those who are going to bash you, attack you and disagree with you. Unfortunately, there are many people who do not know how to refute someone's opinion without getting personal. I try to respect another's opinion and not attack the person.

    However, there are those that enjoy your posts, love looking at your gallery and enjoy the chats. This site is much like real life...full of weirdos, jerks, asses, genuinely nice people, people with big hearts, caring individuals, intellects, shy people and the list goes on and on and I try to treat it as such.

    You may never know how you affect someone else with your insight, wisdom and friendship. With that said...I say come on back and enjoy!
     
  6. Not_Punny

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    Of course you should come back. We don't have enough cute red heads!

    Do what I do --

    -- Use the ignore button: put people on ignore who say nasty things to you or your friends. It really saves my mood.

    -- When I'm too busy or get too pissed off at the site, I take a "holiday" -- I put a "see you later" message in my signature so that people know I'm not around right now. And when I feel better, I can pop back in.
     
  7. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    Funny thing is, i got so tired of hearing "redheads are my weakness" one too many times recently that I'm no longer red. Ok so a few hairs are being stubborn and not wanting to participate in the color change! I had this guy who was going around to people that he knew and hiding the fact that he was a client of mine because he didnt want them to know i was "The Redhead" he was getting overzealous about sexually. Even though we are both married. I figured if this was going to cause some ripples in my business reputation, which is hard to explain fully here on a public forum, I'd rather try something new and be adventurous and when i ran into those people he was sharing his feelings with, they wouldnt associate me as his make believe mistress.
     
  8. B_Demention

    B_Demention New Member

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    From what I gather, having lots of pictures up as an attractive woman and being quite rigorously involved in many of the big debates can mean sticking your neck out and occasionally getting the proverbial slap in the face.

    Having SAD myself (I work from home etc) I understand what it's like to hear negativity on a forum and take it so personally that you just want to leave forever. Reading the bad stuff makes your skin go hot and you really feel like pushing it all away.

    But of course you can try again - you obviously enjoy the site to some degree so it may well be worth fighting for. I don't pretend to know your story that well as I haven't been here that long, but I would say keep your posting fairly low key (including pics) and try to diffuse any bad situations before they arise.

    I hope you do whatever ultimately makes you happiest.
     
  9. Guy-jin

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    I'm curious what I did that made you want to completely stop talking to me over Yahoo. I realize I don't jerk off on cam on cue unlike most of the mooks here, but is that all our friendship was really useful for from your perspective?
     
  10. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    I'm glad you understand what its like, im sure many regulars around here probably understand us. It's just a little humbling to share the volunteered loneliness that we have. I, too, managed to work out a career that enables me to work alone with my ipod to keep me company. I couldnt work with other people because the anxiety got to me to the point where i couldnt function. I'm trying to branch out and participate on some other forums, some not sexual in nature. I thought about going to boards pertaining to SAD and OCD but i fear that i'll get more depressed reading how much worse others have it.
     
  11. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    Wow, we stopped talking on yahoo because the jabs in the political threads. I think many here joke when they say things but the slap on the back and take it like a man doesnt always go over well. It has nothing to do with camming and im embarassed to think i gave you that impression. Not to mention, i thought i was doing you a favor as you seemed irritated as well. The whole mood of this board started to change around this time and I'm not a debater so i didnt want to get into it with you.
     
  12. B_ScaredLittleBoy

    B_ScaredLittleBoy New Member

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    You should come back...if you want to.

    I'm eating my tea now so didn't read much of the first post.

    However, don't let what people say about your pictures put you off. When people leave negative or berating comments, it says more about themselves than about you. And if you have 20 people precumming at your pics and one weirdo telling you your pussy looks like a car wreck...majority rules.

    I don't really communicate with anyone from here so I don't have issue with the messenger side of things or personal intrusions. I did Yahoo when I first came here but had a lot of bad/freaky experiences. eg I had FLT/Jeremy on Yahoo :rolleyes:.

    You're an adult, do what you want to do and don't be influenced by strangers on the internet, one way or another.
     
  13. Guy-jin

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    It would never occur to me to cut all ties with someone because he or she disagrees with me on an issue. Especially when the issue is something as asinine as whether or not Ann Coulter is physically attractive.

    I guess I valued our friendship more than you did. Oh well. Wouldn't be the first time.

    My Yahoo name is the same. I'm not the one who wanted to "stop talking". Just want to be clear on that, if that's what you thought.

    And I was not irritated with you, either, though apparently you were irritated with me. It would have been better to have just told me than to have decided instead to cut me out of your Internet life. Or at least, it wouldn't have hurt my feelings the way simply dropping me like a bad habit did.
     
  14. Not_Punny

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    Yikes!!!! I know what you mean. (About slimy comments to redheads AND about being "discovered" on the site == a couple of people I know found me on this site, and one of them thinks he has "privileges" just because of that!!)

    But red or not, you should definitely stay.

    I used to collapse in tears when people said something mean. Spoiled Princess slapped my wrist about that. I then decided to take it upon myself as a challenge -- to see if I could "thicken" my skin by being at LPSG... and it DID work. Haven't had any LPSG-induced tears for a long time! :biggrin1:

    BTW, the new colors in your hair look great!!
     
  15. D_Tintagel_Demondong

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    *shudders*
     
  16. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    I admire Spoiled Princess and her ability to let things roll off her back. She is one tough lady who knows her way around forums. I have picked her brain more than a few times on how to deal with things.
     
  17. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    Yeah i shouldnt have made the post so long. It's easy to keep typing when you are thinking outloud. I'm learning to deal with the criticism. I think the strife prior to the bannings gave me a taste of my own medicine as far as dishing out what i couldnt take.

    Whats the FLT/Jeremy thing you are referring to?
     
  18. psidom

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    yes please come back.
    i had no clue you were bedhead red.
    i thought you just left because you were pissed.:smile:

    so that is a definate "YES"
    come back.
     
  19. B_ScaredLittleBoy

    B_ScaredLittleBoy New Member

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    FLT is FootLongTeen and Jeremy is/was his other account. He had some sort of incest fetish and would tell me how much he loves his mom and to show my mum how much I love her...etc.

    My point is, there are some fucked up people on here. One reason I don't communicate (privately) with anyone on here. So I would discount a lot of things read here, especially the negative.

    You're hot too Mme Rouge...don't let anyone tell you otherwise :smile:
     
  20. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    :kiss:
     
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