I know this is a weird question....and since i came back for the "Ban Me" thread i suppose i'm already here. But i stated a few of my reasons for leaving, that LPSG was was too time consuming.
Some of you do have thicker skin than others, but those like myself who have SAD, are bothered more by what others think. I don't want to be here if I'm going to be heckled about my political beliefs or because i update my gallery often and periodically post videos on the Adult Videos board, i saw that a few people didnt want me to come back and thats their opinion even if it hurt to read.
I felt like i invested a lot of time here but if i had it to do all over again- I wouldnt have posted pics and vids without earning rapport, as this ended up making some throw up a wall and doubt my credibility when i approached subjects of respecting women.
I don't feel that posting my own material warrants me to not be able to post how a woman might feel in situations where her personal photos are being used on a predominantly male, sex-related site without her knowledge. I got pretty angry about being told that I have no right to exclaim that it could be considered creepy and stalkerish. It kind of threw me over the edge to not want to be here if that was how i was seen. This particular situation involved men that i would like to believe would never go over the line by these pictures. But at the same time, someone in real life began to do the same thing to me and then it fed this desire for him to get this elaborate plan about how to obtain me. I think it's wise to assume that there are also people who would go that far on LPSG, im sure there arent many, but i think my own life made me stop and realize what might occur over the posting of casual pics of women that didnt know they were being posted here for sexual critique.
Like many of you i have a personal life and i have issues that i've been working on while i've been away. But i do miss LPSG and my friends here. I've kept in touch with many of you in Yahoo Messenger.
Posting again has this warm, familiar feeling to me but my own anxiety about investing much if im marked as some "stripper" who has nothing more to offer even if she has a college degree. I took down my photos to further prove that i don't have to show my body off in order to have a place here.
There is a double standard in the world as far as sexuality goes for women and men. A man can post pictures of his naked body right off the bat and have a perfect body and huge cock and not many raise suspicion to doubt him. If a woman comes on here she is often labeled and faker and i know why. I've more than proven myself that i am a female. But i feel like i have more to prove that i am more than just eye candy.
To sum it all up, i wanted to throw all of this out there because i realize where i might have offended some or just plain pissed people off. I was hoping it would start a trend of other women participating in the Adult Vids board. I realize that many arent as comfortable doing that or are single and not sure if they want it out there for all to see. I don't have as much to worry about as others. When i saw the backlash about my posting videos and it receiving attention back in December, i quit making and posting videos.
LPSG has been a huge source of inspiration in my own bedroom. The subjects approached around here are often very erotic and gave me a lot to look forward to when my husband got home from work. We didn't have much sex prior to me finding LPSG. We've had more sex in 2 weeks than we did in one year before finding this place. It has been a big deal in my life to share my own sexuality because it has always been deemed a little inappropriate or unusual in my personal life. There are few that i can be this candid with.
I was always shy and never dreamed i could post videos but once i saw how much i appreciated others amateur videos i couldnt help but want to do it too. I was getting immune to porn at that point and then amateur opened my eyes. The biggest compliments i received were from fellow women because there arent enough erotic videos geared to their tastes.
Around the time of my leaving i was faced with something in my person life that was more serious than anything i had dealt with in my adult life and I'm still not sure how to handle it. I've began to deal with addictions, including LPSG and i'm in the process of turning over a new leaf in my life. I've made some obvious changes to one of my recognizable attributes, it not only helps with anonymity in my own situation going on privately, it symbolizes much more.
I felt so free when i could share my videos and photos here but none of it was worth it to be a nuisance. Some have told me "Fuck them if they don't like it" others have been incredibly intuitive to notice when i began to lose my way around here and correlate it to when i stopped making the vids.
When Nine_Inch_Cock left and posted his story under another name it inspired me to change some things in my own life. Maybe i shouldnt share these things here, but i'm hoping those who judged me solely on the visual aspect will stop and see that I'm not an exhibitionist in my real life. I'm a very private person. Under a screen name and on the internet you can post things you wouldnt show you to your family and friends. It's much easier to use LPSG as a medium for expressing your sexuality.
I'm rambling on here.
I miss this place and i really miss what it was like when i first came. Sadly, i contributed to the combativeness that ultimately landed me in a 7 day ban. I know once i combat some of the other issues in my personal life, which cause me to hermit myself thus resulting in being here so damn much, i wont need to be here as much.
I didnt want to come back and be pushed away.
Bedheadred
Marmalade Redjam 
I know that we have disagreed on things as far as politics...especially the Ann Coulter thing.
I want to say that even though I may disagree with you regarding that heifer. I don't hate you. You can read and ascribe to whomever and whatever. This is the beauty of living in America. Freedom to believe or not to believe. Freedom to speak your mind.
With that said, I think that you have EVERY right to be here. You have a right to put up whatever content you want within the confines of the LPSG TOS. Be yourself. Speak your mind. I want to say that you also do not have any control over what people think of you. Or what they say. People are going to think whatever they want. And they won't lose any sleep over it. Why should you?
If you wanna get Mulin Redjam with yo' Lady Mademoiselle self, you feelin' sexy and want to get "Eurythmics meets Cabaret meets Marilyn Manson meets George W. Bush" in your pictures and videos...and you like being uber-Mulin Redjam/Cabaret/gothgurl/Conservative sexy--why not post a picture or a video if you are feeling good and sexy?
I do a lot on my MySpace profile. I put up some wicked crazy stuff on there. But all my "friends" on there know that it is sometimes educational...creative...and very man oriented. Hehehe. They may think that this guy needs to get laid. But I have always have been a sexual and sensual minded person even when I had a boyfriend.
Be the woman you want to be. I am going to be the man I am supposed to be. Everyone else will be themselves. This is how it is.
