Should I give my wife a big one?

[bulletbob]

(If this is in the wrong forum, Mods please move)

Hello all. I’ve been a reader of this forum for a couple of months now and I've enjoyed the subject matter. I recently joined to post this thread seeking input on my situation because the topics discussed here are pertinent to my circumstances. Basically, my wife and I have an opportunity to be involved in a MFM threesome and I want some input.

Here’s the situation:

We’ve been together since high school, took each others’ virginity and have been each others’ first in just about every way.

We’re still very strong together now in just about every way. We get along, we’re very sexually active and adventurous, and we don’t have any major dysfunctions. We’re into a little bit of light bondage and some dom/sub stuff (but not in the stereotypical whips and leather kind of way. It’s pretty subtle with us). In terms of the vanilla stuff, we’re basically up for anything sex-wise.

The two of us have considered threesomes in the past, with both female and male partners. I find the idea of either to be pretty arousing, but I’m pretty open sexually (although not bi or gay). I’m also not the jealous type, which helps. We’ve never done it because we’ve never known anyone we trust enough to invite to join us (or the people we know just aren’t very good candidates, for whatever reason).

Now we have a real opportunity. I have a very close male friend (who used
to be a coworker) who has a lot of sexual experience (including the stuff we like as well as with threesomes). He’s very clean, professional and an all-around good candidate. Since high school, I’ve only had one or two friends that I’ve been able to graphically speak to about sex. He’s one of them. In fact, I’ve known for a long time that he’s attracted to my wife. We’ve even shared pictures. I have showed him nudes of my wife, he showed me nudes of his then-wife (they divorced for reasons that did not involve sex. Incidentally, they were happily involved in the swinging lifestyle until financial matters caused them to part).

OK, so I know the next question you’re going to ask. What does my wife think of all this? Well, she’s into it. It’s not an issue of me needing to convince her at all. As I said, we’re both pretty open to new things sexually. This is something we’ve included in our fantasy play for a long time. I’ve tied her up and blindfolded her many nights (which is what she likes) and described to her in detail what myself and another man would do to her and what she would do to us. We even specifically talk about my friend being the other guy, even taking it as far as her calling out his name when the two of us are fooling around. The fantasy stuff always gets her excited and she has great orgasms. It’s a lot of fun for both of us, and she said she would do it for real because we both get off on it so much. She said she thinks we both would enjoy it.

We’ve discussed it with each other at length, going over the different details in our minds. We have a pretty good idea what we would like to do on the day. We’ve also discussed at length all the possible ramifications. I’ve assured her that me wanting to share her isn’t a sign of disrespect (if anything I’m proud of how hot she is and I know she’ll rock this guy’s world), and she’s assured me that she doesn’t need another guy. We’ve also discussed the various hypothetical negative ramifications (jealousy, safe sex, pregnancy etc.). We usually arrive at the conclusion that we’re secure and responsible enough to handle ourselves.

Between the two of us, we’ve basically eliminated any major concerns that we have and feel fairly confident to say that we are capable of at least trying it once to see if we like it. We’ve agreed that if either doesn’t like it, we won’t pursue further it until all concerns are addressed.
So I guess I don’t really too many have lingering doubts, but there is one thing that lingers for me. (Here comes the LPSG connection). Admittedly, that one lingering thing is the difference in size between me and the prospective other guy.

Here comes a disclaimer: I am not looking for SPH and this isn’t a veiled attempt to solicit it. The reason I make this disclaimer is because, from what I’ve read here, SPH is a bit of a touchy subject and I’m in no way looking to get involved in any kind of debate.

I’m about 5 inches in length and just a little under 6 inches around (small side of average lengthwise, decent girth). I generally don’t have a problem with my size at all. It is what it is. There are lots bigger and lots smaller. Over the years, I’ve had no problem giving my wife lots of orgasms with my penis, fingers, sex toys and whatever else we can come up with.

Still, the prospective other guy is quite a bit bigger. He’s sent us pics (I’ve showed them to my wife) and he’s about 7-8 inches in length and thicker than me (not sure on an actual number, but it’s apparent). You can also tell he has some nice ridges and a great mushroom head.

I have no doubt that this experience will be very different altogether for my wife, should we go through with it. Not only will she be with a new partner, but one who is quite a bit more hung than the one she’s used to. Moreover, I’m pretty sure my pal is a good lover because I’m friends with other girls he’s bedded (and we all know that some girls talk, sometimes even to their guy friends, about sex). On top of that, I will be there adding more stimulation. So I know there is a good chance this is going to overwhelm her senses more than when it’s just the two of us, so I’m prepared for a stronger reaction. In fact, it all seems pretty hot to me and I really get off on the idea of my lady having a good time with all this.

But when it comes to cock, I am my wife’s only frame of reference. If we do this, he will be only the second man she’s ever had and, realistically, he will be the largest she’s ever had. So I guess my question is this: Despite her assurances otherwise, what are the chances that this will be some sort of “eye-opener” when it comes to size for her? I guess I just worry that after this, it will take more to stimulate her when it’s just the two of us. I really do trust her when she says it likely won’t be an issue. I genuinely just worry that she herself might not be able to say that with certainty, simply because she’s doesn’t have that previous frame of reference.

The worst-case-scenario for me is that she becomes a size queen and decides she needs a bigger permanent partner. Honestly, I don’t think that would happen under any scenario. I think even if that was the case, she would stay with me because of the life we’ve built together and because we have much more going for us than our sex lives.

But there is the realistic concern that this may “increase her tolerance” so to speak. So, my question to the people on this forum about big dicks is this: What can I realistically expect after my wife gets a hold of something larger than my five-incher? Am I really going to need to ramp it up in the bedroom to compete after this?

Sorry about such a long post. Any feedback would be appreciated. Should I let my wife experience a bigger cock?

 

[tgirlsrgreat]

i'll give you a short and sweet answer. DON'T DO IT! your cock is plenty big and certainly "fatter" than most. find some other fun play, roleplay, dress up, light bondage, whatever but introducing another male into the mix is a no-no in my book, especially one you know well. seems like a charlie foxtrot just looking to happen.

 

[bulletbob]

Thanks tgirl. We actually already do just about everything you suggested (see my OP). Our sex life is hot and we're not really looking to spice it up. We're just both turned on by the idea of brining in other people. I appreciate the brevity, but can you elaborate on why it's a bad idea or a CF waiting to happen?

 

[Charles Finn]

I say do it
you both seem like you would be into it so just keep talking things out and enjoy things as they happen

 

[tgirlsrgreat]

Thanks tgirl. We actually already do just about everything you suggested (see my OP). Our sex life is hot and we're not really looking to spice it up. We're just both turned on by the idea of brining in other people. I appreciate the brevity, but can you elaborate on why it's a bad idea or a CF waiting to happen?

i think it can just put a strain on what seems to be a solid relationship. creeping insecurity can be a deadly thing. what if she really likes it and you don't and she wants to repeat the experience? you going to say no? what if that upsets her and she decides to go it alone? just too many bad variables for me.

 

[bulletbob]

Thanks, Chuck.

 

[bulletbob]

Thanks tgirl.

 

[2firty]

If you both want to experiment I would advise not doing it with a friend.. If you do then set some rules before hand and stick to them.... Would he be allowed to kiss your wife? Cum inside her? You should think about these things.

 

[average_joey]

If you satisfy her sexually and she loves you, you probably have nothing to worry about. But is it worth the risk? I would feel more comfortable if she had more experience with other men. You just don't know. I've dabbled in swinging, and it has made some of the greatest memories of my life. But I always had the biggest dick in the room too. If a guy made my girl scream louder than I ever had, I don't know how good that would have felt. Once you go through the door... you can't undo it.

 

[PerfectlySexy]

No need to apologize for the long post; context is everything in these matters and you've done a good job demonstrating that you've thought things through. I'll share my perspective, for what it's worth. No one can predict the future, including how they will feel in any given situation. From my limited experience I've definitely found that love does not equal sex. So if your wife does decide she really likes having sex with someone with a larger penis the most likely course of action is that she will stay with you and be grateful for the opportunity to explore this aspect of her sexuality, perhaps on a regular basis. And while I do not think you will *need* to ramp it up you may find that you choose to do so. A little bit of competition in the bedroom works (by which I mean is a turn-on) for a lot of people. So if you feel that your wife wanting some other experiences on a regular basis is going to be a problem for you then you should definitely wait and continue the discussion before moving forward.

However, it may also be worth contemplating the nature and quality of your love. I practice loving people by allowing them to be free. In one open relationship I had my partner ended our romantic relationship in order to pursue a monogamous romantic relationship with someone else. I blessed her choice and we both moved forward with our lives. I feel that for me, really loving someone means allowing them the freedom to follow their heart as they see fit, which may mean they follow a path away from me. Better to be free and exploring the world than settled and always wondering what could have been. But don't misunderstand, being comfortable and settled is a lot easier in many ways. But since you're having these discussions, you and your wife are already exploring your relationship to find its boundaries which should lead to personal and shared growth.

 

[bulletbob]

Sexy: What a well-articulated response. I have been reading this forum for a while and I don't believe I've seen someone post so eloquently. The portion of your post I quote below, I believe, is the ideal scenario for us. Ideally, we want it to be something we both enjoy and do on a regular basis (once every couple of months or so, maybe a few times a year).

"So if your wife does decide she really likes having sex with someone with a larger penis the most likely course of action is that she will stay with you and be grateful for the opportunity to explore this aspect of her sexuality, perhaps on a regular basis. And while I do not think you will *need* to ramp it up you may find that you choose to do so. A little bit of competition in the bedroom works (by which I mean is a turn-on) for a lot of people."

 

[poptarts]

Hey, I think in situations like these it's almost better to go with someone you don't know. It's your first time doing anything like this, and even though you've both talked about it, the result of this happening could change things for the worse, and it may not be worth the risk. I've been with women who had never been with someone as large as me, and they always told me they loved the feeling that they were being filled up, stretched, you name it, etc when they were with me. Now I imagine, should you go through with this, that your wife isn't going to want to get a divorce and go for the biggest guy she can find lol, but (and I guess this is more selfish sounding) would you really want her to experience something potentially very satisfying that you yourself couldn't give her/ physically experience with her? If you're okay with that, then I'd say it's fine. Personally, for me, I'd probably not want to go through with it.

 

[Madison_Thick]

Once you go through the door... you can't undo it.

That is definitely for sure. Take it from someone who has been there. I have zero regrets, and the experiences you've described I have done with my wife, and while it has brought us closer together it is true that alot of things change after you start letting other dudes bang your wife

Here are a few examples:

1) Her pussy will never be the same again. He's going to "open her up" deeper and stretch her out more

2) He is going to pleasure her in places that you have never touched and never could touch. ESPECIALLY in your case if he's got 2 inches on you. In my case its been true and my wife's other lovers (so far) have had only a 1/2 inch on me

3) Its only going to be natural for her to want to repeat those experiences with a bigger cock than you are giving her

4) She's probably going to get hotter in bed as a result of it. She's going to learn a few new moves and will generally be hornier in the weeks after fucking someone new.

5) There is a good chance that, if the two of you are honest and open with each other, the two of you will get closer from the experience.

6) If there are underlying insecurity or jealousy issues on your part this kind of thing can completely fuck with your head. I am fortunate that I don't have to go through any of that, but I know men who have

7) Because her pussy has been opened up more, she'll probably be able to take you deeper than before

8) She may, from the experience, learn new ways to cum, new things that turn her on, and new ways to get you off, all of which could enhance your sex life together

That is alot of changes. As was said, once you go through that door, you cannot undo it

 

[average_joey]

http://www.lpsg.org/blogs/fancypants/history-of-me-6934/

Perfect reading for you. The womans point of view on the topic - before and throughout her experience.

 

[bulletbob]

Joey, read that blog. Very interesting and indeed perfect reading for my situation, since it's quite similar. Thanks a bunch.

Poptarts, I see what you mean about someone you don't know. I just don't feel the same about that particular aspect of it. I can't see trusting my wife with someone I don't know. The person we have in mind is a friend of mine (and a good one), but we don't see each other often. We used to work together, but not anymore. We're still good friends, but there's not a lot of close proximity. We live an hour away. I talk to this guy, but I hardly ever see him anymore, yet there's no love lost. He's also a really respectable guy and has experience with this (experience I've verified through pix, video etc.).

 

[bulletbob]

Madison, your post was so good, I wanted to respond to the points individually. Hope you don't mind.

1) Her pussy will never be the same again. He's going to "open her up" deeper and stretch her out more

This is hot! I also realize this completely. It's simple physiology. I'm still overall pretty confident that I'll be able to get the job done after she has the experience. Still, one can't help that tiny shred of insecurity. Hearing you put so bluntly actually made me feel better about it.

2) He is going to pleasure her in places that you have never touched and never could touch. ESPECIALLY in your case if he's got 2 inches on you. In my case its been true and my wife's other lovers (so far) have had only a 1/2 inch on me

Again, I think that's hot. Aside from the visual, aural and physical stimulation, my enjoyment of this (so far in fantasy only) really does come from the thought of her getting pleasure. Hell, every time he two of us have sex, the majority of the time is spent with me focusing on her. It usually starts with a long period of foreplay in which she comes at least once (often twice), then we have intercourse (she usually comes once or twice more). And a lot of times, I come and she's still so worked up from all the foreplay and sex that I give her another one or two after I'm finished.

3) Its only going to be natural for her to want to repeat those experiences with a bigger cock than you are giving her

Hopefully, we both want to repeat it. I'm pretty sure we both will. I don't pretend to think she wouldn't want to do it again if she enjoyed it.

4) She's probably going to get hotter in bed as a result of it. She's going to learn a few new moves and will generally be hornier in the weeks after fucking someone new.

Again, that's hot! I would love for it to enhance what we already do, and I would definitely jump at the chance for her to be even hornier cause I have no problem doing whatever it takes to get her off as much as she wants (cause I always have a lot of fun and get mine in the process).

5) There is a good chance that, if the two of you are honest and open with each other, the two of you will get closer from the experience.

That's really encouraging!

6) If there are underlying insecurity or jealousy issues on your part this kind of thing can completely fuck with your head. I am fortunate that I don't have to go through any of that, but I know men who have

There's no jealousy. I don't kid myself. I know there are other guys out there who can pleasure her more, and not just because they have bigger dicks. She'd be putty in the hands of someone who was an expert at japanese rope bondage for example, even if he had a four-incher. There's always someone out there who can fuck your girl better. I bet there are guys with bigger dicks than me whom I can outfuck. I don't lack confidence.

7) Because her pussy has been opened up more, she'll probably be able to take you deeper than before

Hot! I already love the way she feels after we've been at it a while (or I've used a big toy on her). I don't want to say "looser," but definitely more squishy.

8) She may, from the experience, learn new ways to cum, new things that turn her on, and new ways to get you off, all of which could enhance your sex life together

That's what we're hoping.

Your post was very enlightening. Thank you.

 

[Madison_Thick]

I know there are other guys out there who can pleasure her more, and not just because they have bigger dicks.

Yes, this is true, there are some men out there who are just plain better in bed than others, but in general its that a man with with a bigger dick can pleasure her differently, not necessarily more. And that variety is fun for a women

I bet there are guys with bigger dicks than me whom I can outfuck. I don't lack confidence..

I have no doubt about that, and you have the extreme advantage with your wife that no other man has: years of fucking her and knowing her body and knowing just what gets her off.

My wife recently hooked up with a Black guy with a 8 inch cock (I'm 7.5 inches). She said he has a huge cock head and that he opened up her pussy in new ways, and he fucked her harder than anyone ever has (she loves being fucked hard). But at the same time, he came after fucking her for only 5 minutes, and the 2nd time he fucked her that night he came in 15 minutes. When she came home later that same night she really needed me to fuck her well and get her off well. So yeah, everything is relative

Has she been a hotter fuck ever since he banged her? Hell yeah!

 

[Madison_Thick]

Also, and this is important: keep in mind that a woman's G-Spot is 2-3 inches inside of her pussy

 

[Stephenmass]

It seems people above list all the POSSIBLE positive outcomes. Without going into a long spiel, I'll simply say you and your wife seem very happy both in and out of bed. Why POSSIBLY ruin that?

One negative outcome could be that all she wants is a long thick one after she has one. For those women that do, great I don't have a problem with it. But it is possible that she will MUCH prefer the bigger cock vs your own (which isn't that small really).

You may also THINK you are ready to handle it all emotionally, etc. Maybe you can, I won't judge that. But what if you can't? What if the sounds she makes you wish she would make with you? What if he brings out the true animal in her? What if that doesn't transverse into the marital bed when it's just you and her and she seems disinterested? What if she wants that bigger one more and more than just every couple of months and starts to want it every week or so? Are you ready for those POSSIBLE scenarios?

I'm not saying positives cannot happen, they can. But negatives can just as easily happen. And by the sounds of it the two of you are very happy. Why risk 20 some odd years of happiness to simply have her and potentially you get your rocks off ESPECIALLY where the two of you seem so sexually compatible now?

Think it through is all I can say. Personally, I wouldn't do it if I were in your shoes. But then again, I am not in your shoes.

 

[PerfectlySexy]

Stephenmass: You have a totally valid point of view, but I think it's interesting and amusing that your statement contradicts your signature with regard to risk taking. When to risk for something more and when to play it safe and settle are some of the most difficult decisions for people to make.

bulletbob: Again, give how much thought you're giving this you should be in good shape for any eventuality. You sound like someone who can make an arrangement of this sort work. Just keep working through it with your wife, discussing, thinking, and I'm sure it will work out for the best.