Should I have gay sex?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by alabasterman, Apr 7, 2009.

  1. alabasterman

    alabasterman New Member

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    Okay. I'm twenty-one years old, and basically consider myself...bi-curious? More straight than gay, but with an interest in gay sex. I'm not sure if this will change in the future, but.

    I've been on a website called Squirt, and happened to find somebody who is interested in hooking up. He's a top, so I'd be bottoming in this situation. He's the same age as I am.

    My concern is this--I'm a virgin. This would be my first sexual experience. Should I go and do this? Part of me really wants to, but another part of me isn't so sure. I'd like to ask a completely objective third party--or parties, or whatever.
     
  2. D_ShiaLeTubeSteak

    D_ShiaLeTubeSteak New Member

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    If you really like this guy then yeah - but if it's the first time you've met ... You might want to build a real relationship before doing anything serious.
     
  3. RedHead8

    RedHead8 Active Member

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    First of all, there are a lot of things you can do besides anal sex. The guy's got a mouth to kiss and a body to caress. Also, a penis is a toy and there are lots of ways to play with it, you already know that for sure. Take it in your mouth first and see how you like that (trust me, you will). You can also rub your cocks togheter and stroke them togheter, his against yours... I personally love that.

    As for anal sex, if that's the only thing this guy wants, maybe he's not the person you want for your first time. If YOU really want to try it, for your own fun, go for it.

    If you really want this, then know that it's NORMAL to be nervous. After all... there's a cock going up your ass. :p It might hurt at first as his head goes in. A bit of pain is normal. Use lots of lube (on and in your ass and on his cock) and tell him to take it SLOW. He can't just pop the head in, that's the hardest part. He must ease into you slowly. Then... trust me, the pain goes away and fun begins. :)

    So, to sum up, gay sex is a lot more than anal sex and, if you choose to do it, do it slowly and respect your boundaries.

    (Sorry for the mistakes... french canadian here!)

    Red
     
  4. Witlof

    Verified Gold Member

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    Just because he's a top doesn't mean you have to have anal sex the first time you meet. I usually don't.
    Your curiosity will just keep increasing until you do something about it. So my advice would be to go for it, but don't feel pressured into anal unless you're comfortable with the guy. Let him know it's your first time (he'll probably get a buzz from that) and that you just want to do oral or whatever.
    And bear in mind that not all online hook-ups are a success. Sometimes guys aren't who they say they are, or you just might not click. So if it doesn't work for you, don't assume no gay sex ever will.
    Good luck with it!
     
  5. Jason

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    In a word, no.

    The fact that you are asking the question shows you have doubts, and you need to resolve these before you think about such a thing.
     
  6. BigDallasDick8x6

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    I was divorced and going on 26 when I decided to try gay sex. My reasoning was this (don't laugh) -- "I've been fighting my attraction to men since I was 13, which is now almost half my life. I'm going to finally have sex with a guy and get it out of my system." So I had I went to an adult bookstore and went home with someone. A couple days later I was horny again so I figured it must take a couple of times or maybe a week or so. At the end of a week of sex, I still wanted more sex with guys so I figured I was gay. A couple weeks later I called my mom and my brother and told them.

    So in other words I was tired of being curious and wanted to get it resolved. It sounds like you're in that same situation. So I would say yes, you need to get this resolved and see if it's just a one time curiosity or if this really makes you see stars.

    I would say though, don't try anal on the first time. Do oral the first couple times. Buy "The Joy of Gay Sex" at a bookstore or through the mail. It has an excellent primer on getting ready for anal sex for the first time. It's not something you can just decide to do. It takes a lot of preparation and practice for most people.

    Good luck and let us know how it turned out.
     
  7. plumbr

    plumbr Member

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    Go for it and BE SAFE!
     
  8. Lex

    Lex
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    There are plenty of ways to find out if you are gay without having anal sex. most gay men begin with lots of other things--it takes knowledge, time and patience to get penetrated and to penetrate another man without hurting one another.

    I did not realize I was gay until past 30. What really made me realize was not "gay sex" (i.e., anal or oral). Rather, it was the things that I really enjoyed doing with other men that set of fireworks for me in ways that women never did: kissing, cuddling, napping on a chest, our arms around each other, etc.

    This kind of emotional and spatial intimacy, to me, is far more powerful than fucking or sucking and can tell you far more about what your orientation and triggers are than a painful, virginal anal experience.

    Good luck and be safe in whatever you choose.
     
  9. TheMarchHare

    TheMarchHare New Member

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    You're bi-curious right? You wanna know if you like guys as much as you think you like them, right? Then I'd suggest, especially for bottoming... that you do it with someone you know well, and trust to have your best interests at heart. Someone who will be gentle.. someone who will appreciate you, and will treat you as such.

    You don't want a bad experience the first time.. and bottoming is something to be taken slowly, gently, and very carefully the first time. It's nothing like you'd expect, and it might hurt a bit at first. When that happens take a deep breath, push out, and calm down...

    Make sure you find someone who will be gentle. I simply can't stress that enough..

    and I dunno if some random guy from the internet would be the best idea.. then again, maybe he's an amazing, understanding, kind gentleman... but. You never know. Use what you think is your best judgment. Only you can truly make this decision.
     
  10. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    "Should I have gay sex?'

    I would first say that there's no such a thing as "gay sex". You can have sex with a woman or a man. No one refers to people as having "straight sex".

    The next thing is your fantasy isn't necessarily going to correspond to reality. In our fantasies everything is controlled by us and goes perfectly. In reality each person brings something unique and different to the encounter, and no one controls the outcome. That's why to me it's better to have a first time experience with someone who you like and who likes you and is attracted to you. Good luck.
     
  11. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    This is one of those situations where I truly believe that if you're asking the question, you already know the answer.
     
  12. Principessa

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    I concur. :cool:
     
  13. flame boy

    flame boy Account Disabled

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    Having anal sex will not help you decide if you are indeed gay or not - as others have said there is a lot more to being homosexual than having a cock up your ass. If you're unsure then only you can truly make the decision - no one else.

    Keep in mind that this hook up will (most likely) only want sex and then will leave. If you are looking for someone who will be gentle and take it easy the first time, then an online hook up may not be the best way to go - he will want to get off and get out.

    Whatever you decide to do, just make sure you are safe and do what feels right for you. x
     
  14. MarkLondon

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    Yes you should. I'm just not sure that bottoming for a for a hook-up from Squirt is the best way to go about it though, for a first time. Talk about diving in the deep end, lol.

    Do you want to bottom? Or have you been persuaded? You don't have to bend over to get a man to have gay sex with you, you know.

    And just to make it clear, playing safe means he MUST wear a condom all the time he's in you. No "I'll pull out before I cum", or "I'm clean, you can trust me".
     
  15. alabasterman

    alabasterman New Member

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    For the record, I opted not to, but I would like to address a recurring comment.

    This wasn't me trying to figure out if I was gay--it was me simply being curious as to that aspect of sexuality.
     
  16. TheMarchHare

    TheMarchHare New Member

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    Hmmm... would being curious indicate that you were at least trying to figure out if you liked guys?

    Wouldn't necessarily mean you were trying to find out if you were gay, could mean you were trying to find out if you were bi. Either way, you're in-experienced from what you've said.. and you don't want your first time to be unpleasant.. I think that's what everyone was trying to get at most.

    So, why'd you opt not to? If you don't mind me asking.
     
  17. alabasterman

    alabasterman New Member

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    Simply because, as I thought about it, I realized that, while there were certainly times where I wanted to do it, there were other times where I just wasn't too comfortable with it, and I realized that those were the feelings I should listen to.
     
  18. B_fullup8

    B_fullup8 New Member

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    Look, this culture wasn't exactly set up to make gays feel great about themselves! Almost every man, woman & child who has questioned their own sexual identity, outside the bounds of heterosexualism, has experienced feelings of an uncomfortable nature.

    What to do about how you feel is your choice alone. One thing I would advise you on, is to resolve those feelings of homophobia. A guy should be free to question his own nature without outside judgement affecting his response to those questions.
     
  19. alabasterman

    alabasterman New Member

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    Ahahahahahahaha. That has absolutely nothing to do with it, but thank you for playing!
     
  20. Stephenmass

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    I am familiar with the Squirt website. If all you want is a "he squirts and goes" than you won't be disappointed. I agree with one of the above posters, I think it was Hung Jon, that said when you find someone that you are attracted to and vice versa live out what you have been fantasizing. You will have a much more fulfilling experience that way.
     
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