Just to clarify, I haven't wished for more or been hurt as you say.
I have been round the block long enough to know how straight guys think and just passing on the warnings.
In fact, I can say I had one quite bad result, but that was smoothed over eventually and one positive result that still exists today many, many years later. The straight friend with benefits. The postive results for most are few and far between and my positive result I would count as a very rare anomaly to most outcomes.
Just warning you of the psychology of a straight guy who dabbles.
I don't think this post is about actually getting advise. I think it is more about getting approval. I'm pretty sure from what I've read here the mind was made up prior to the post. The guy posting was just looking for validation.
I have no idea how old DAVE08114 is. I am 58. YIKES! I am thinking from what he has said, he is at least mature maybe not in years but in mindset. I'm like you Dave. I had a 14 year long "thing" with a straight guy. Here's the kicker. I thought I was doing him a favor and he thought the same thing. Those inaccurate assumptions were based on completely different criteria. Both he and I were doing it because of our close friendship.
It was a weird situation. He was basing his participation on gay stereotypes and his desire to keep me from making mistakes with other men, yes, gay men. As a result of our arrangement, I was never in a serious relationship with anyone...except him...if you can count that. A relationship which was a hybrid of some sort. I still cannot explain what it really was. None of my other friends knew about it. I couldn't possibly explain it to my gay friends. The straight one wouldn't have understood at all!
I participated in this for so long because I wanted to be close physically speaking to someone that I actually cared about. I honestly believe in the back of my head, I wanted to be IN LOVE with him. I'd gotten burned and very badly, when it came to that. So once bitten twice shy. Sex for me was just sex, the physical part, no emotion at all.
Ok, here is the weird thing. When gay marriage was legalized, he actually called me and said we should get hitched...his words. He had been through 3 failed marriages. He had shitty relationships with his kids. He said I was the only REAL relationship he had ever had. I really considered it for a while. I realized I really wasn't in love with him. O, I loved the guy. I love everything about him, faults and all. I mean who doesn't have faults. I know I sure do.
OK, then there is the physical thing. He is 4 years older than I am. He had a life of hard living, just like me. We have completely different metabolisms or something. He won the gene lottery. I have struggled with my weight since I was 40. Up and down for years. I am super self conscious about it because I was big around as a broom straw most of my life. He still looks like he did at 30, just the older version. I mean he has wrinkles. He has maybe a skooch of extra fat here and there. But the man is still built like a KW longnose. He has great teeth because most of them are fake. He had most knocked out in parking lot brawls. He still has pretty much all his hair and yes some of it is grey. I really stopped the whole thing because I was embarrassed. It felt like a pity fuck type situation. To clarify, we never had intercourse at all.
Full disclosure, when I was this kid's age, I wouldn't have listened to a bunch of old farts saying anything reasonable or sensible either. I have posted I've done this sort of thing. I'm not proud of it. I paid the piper. Moved on and did it again until I didn't. The other thing is Gen Z-ers don't seem to have a clear understanding of the word friend. I don't think many of them actually have a friend,. They have Instagram or FB friends and they think that is real.
I work with nothing but Gen Z-ers all day. I do game character design and use live models. I hate the generation software and refuse to use the handful of online photo resource sites. So I hire my own guys. I have one coming over within the hour. I've observed this with them in how they act and what they say. Their friends basically fall into a few categories. Those they can use, like this guy on this post. People that reinforce their value system and make them feel good about themselves. And people they Have to tolerate to navigate life and get what they want. I see no actual affection for anyone in most of these dudes.