Should i lose my virginity?

1

1297766

Guest
My father is pushing me for being unable to find a girl, my friends were also surprised and suspicious when they found out that I didn't had any sex. One offered me to find a hooker but I refused. Another guy suggested to try dating sites, but after trying 4 various dating sites didn't have any luck (0 likes). Many suspect that I'm mentally ill which might be true because I'm not socially active, don't drink, visit clubs, parties etc. Maybe I'm intimophobic (never touched a girl or been dated) but not sure.

Surprisingly I'm very hung (I was the biggest in school and university), all guys were jealous. One said that all school girls will be mine when they'll find out, but later I found out that girls aren't really into big dicks, so I got convinced that size doesn't matter at all.

I wouldn't be so troubled if people would stop bugging me about it, but I guess there's something wrong. I heard that girls don't like shy guys and I should have a lot of sexual experience in my age (25). I'd like to have a girlfriend, but I'm afraid I'm too old to start it because I heard that sex is the most pleasant at teenage years and I'm won't be able to enjoy it as much as if I was like 16-20. Also I heard that 25+ year old women more family/finances-oriented (after having a active sex life in their younger years) and I noticed that almost all my relatives are married and are having kids, so I guess I'm a little bit too late to start my sex life.

I have a high sex drive (masturbating like 5 times a day) and I'm thinking about becoming asexual - would that be a great idea since I'm unable to make any relationships?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Bigred12

Flyguy88

Worshipped Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
May 22, 2015
Posts
257
Media
220
Likes
14,568
Points
413
Verification
View
Sexuality
90% Gay, 10% Straight
Gender
Male
Was going to say the same. Are you sure it’s girls you like?

You should try and see what’s best for you. No one will care your a virgin. A lot will find it hot.

Great you are sexually actively. Just keep looking for the right time but with no prsssure. Don’t worry about others.
 
1

1297766

Guest
Go hire a hooker / escort----a good one---and see how that goes.....see if you enjoy sex or not........

Do you have any curiosity of gay sex? Just asking......

Oh, don't wanna hooker. I'm not really into "mechanical process" as such. Would like to have meaningful relationship wih one who'd care about me.

No, unfortunately. I tried enjoying gay porn, but it's alien to me. Doesn't arouse me at all.

Was going to say the same. Are you sure it’s girls you like?

You should try and see what’s best for you. No one will care your a virgin. A lot will find it hot.

Great you are sexually actively. Just keep looking for the right time but with no prsssure. Don’t worry about others.

Yes, I'm into girls 100%. Thx for the advice. I think I shouldn't ask such stupid questions (especially at my age) and make my own decision. Just some people say that I'm wasting my dick and it should definitely see some action.


Damn dude you could be a XXX Movie Star with that monster cock of yours!!

Thx alot. Many people suggested to do some porn. But I'm sure if I'll be able to perform well. Havng a gf would do it for me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: BillM

Uncutsouthernboy

Superior Member
Joined
Apr 8, 2007
Posts
1,691
Media
7
Likes
6,558
Points
418
Location
Georgia
Gender
Male
Virginity is something you no longer need. Don't hire a hooker for your first time. You will regret that. You will tell yourself you are so undesirable that you had to pay to lose your virginity and you must pay for sex if you are going to have it. Quit masturbating so much. Get out of the house. Be amongst people. Smile and laugh but be yourself. When the opportunity arises that some girl wants to try something with you, take it. Don't worry about the size of your dick. Don't worry about your performance. You want your first time to be nice and enjoyable. Something you will want to remember and smile about. If you want to buy sex later, then do it.
 

AlbertIII

Sexy Member
Joined
Jul 14, 2015
Posts
28
Media
0
Likes
67
Points
53
Age
31
Location
Paris (Île-de-France, France)
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Aw Casketcrusher, it seems from your message like you're in a big dilemma, and I'm sorry about it.
Look, the thing is, sex brings out the biggest insecurities in all of us (probably anxiety left behind by some primal mating ritual) so people will often (to various extents) embellish their own sex life and talk shit about the others', cause you get a little ego boost. I mean that's also the deal with porn.
In reality, believe me, sex is NO BIG DEAL :) Every creature on this planet has sex, very good/hot people have mediocre sex all the time, some people inlonger relationships love eachother but only fuck once a month,...I believe that what I'm saying is that you dont' need to be in so much performance anxiety, cause there's no righ way to do things, you can never really go THAT wrong! :) I'd suggest you forget all this bullshit with age and numbers and countdowns, and just go with the flow (honestly teenagers have the most random and awkward sex ever, I have so much better sex now! And about girls 25+, that's also bullshit. Lots of girls like sweeter/ introvert guys, and even if they didn't I believe there's more to you than just "shy".And about your size: every girl is into something different. I agree a big cock can't make up for lack of personality but, man!? you seriously believe your cock would leave anyone unimpressed?!)
Now the question is: DO YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX? If you had no peer pressure, no pressure from your father, you were not shy, would you have sex? if the answer is yes, you are not asexual and cannot become one.
To me it seems more likely that you are of shy nature and that you let this thing grow bigger and bigger by procrastinating your beginner's anxiety, and now you got into your head. Work on that, make an effort, all the rest will be fine!!
A crash-therapy for shyness I can think of would be, if you still leave with your parents, moving out. Move out of your hometown where (you think) everybody is thinking you re the shy one. For work, studies, (I mean estonia is in the Eu you can choose to even very easily go abroad) doesnt matter, but you will be forced to come out of your confort zone, you will be able to get a fresh start without people looking at your every move. I cannot garantee you it's gonna be a cup of tea, but I'm pretty sure that you will be surprised by your potential! If you don't like going out, you can meet people at work, at university, at scrabble-tournaments...even in church! Just be yourself and don't rush it, someday you'll get to it..and you'll eventually understand that LITTERALLY NOTHING changes the day you lose your virginity. :)
PS.
Also, try dating apps that are SUITABLE for you (nowadays there s all kinds of subgenre, according to your hobbies or whatever), get ADVICE on how to write your profile (Cool pic, smiley, nice colors, not some webcam shot from your dirty bedroom) and PLEASE dont go hurting your self esteem on notoriously bitchy ones like tindr if you haven't given your presentation dome thought.
I hope I was of some help, I wish you the best! :)
 

AMTZ410213

Legendary Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Posts
412
Media
1
Likes
1,392
Points
498
Location
California (United States)
Verification
View
Sexuality
69% Straight, 31% Gay
Gender
Male
Hey, buddy! It sounds to me like you’re just an off the charts introvert like me. I’m almost 40 and have never really dated or had a girlfriend. I don’t spend time worrying about what anyone else thinks I should be doing because they’re not responsible for making the decisions in my life, I am. Just be yourself so you know when the right girl finds you, she likes the real you and not some character of you that was created in an online dating profile or whatever.
 
1

1297766

Guest
Flyguy88, thanks

Uncutsouthernboy, many thanks for the advice. I'm hanging out quite often. It's just a bad luck I guess.

AlbertIII, yes. I got very confused. Because I see how people live and not sure how to fit in and is it worth trying. Moving out seems to a great idea. Gonna take many years tho. I think I should concentrate on my possibilities, rather than desires. Lack of someone and seeing my friends hugging with their mates makes me feel like I'm missing something. Think I should avoid seeing them. Thx.

Infernal, good idea, they all seem to be occupied tho. It'd make me feel awkward if I'd I'll interract with an experienced woman while having none of it. Too bad I missed the days when I could find a young girl who is and innocent.

AMTZ410213, yeah I feel you. Thanx for your support. You're right dating app is not a really good method.
 

ItsAll4Kim

Worshipped Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jun 5, 2015
Posts
6,810
Media
0
Likes
13,778
Points
308
Location
USA
Verification
View
Gender
Male
My father is pushing me for being unable to find a girl, my friends were also surprised and suspicious when they found out that I didn't had any sex. One offered me to find a hooker but I refused. Another guy suggested to try dating sites, but after trying 4 various dating sites didn't have any luck (0 likes). Many suspect that I'm mentally ill which might be true because I'm not socially active, don't drink, visit clubs, parties etc. Maybe I'm intimophobic (never touched a girl or been dated) but not sure.

Surprisingly I'm very hung (I was the biggest in school and university), all guys were jealous. One said that all school girls will be mine when they'll find out, but later I found out that girls aren't really into big dicks, so I got convinced that size doesn't matter at all.

I wouldn't be so troubled if people would stop bugging me about it, but I guess there's something wrong. I heard that girls don't like shy guys and I should have a lot of sexual experience in my age (25). I'd like to have a girlfriend, but I'm afraid I'm too old to start it because I heard that sex is the most pleasant at teenage years and I'm won't be able to enjoy it as much as if I was like 16-20. Also I heard that 25+ year old women more family/finances-oriented (after having a active sex life in their younger years) and I noticed that almost all my relatives are married and are having kids, so I guess I'm a little bit too late to start my sex life.

I have a high sex drive (masturbating like 5 times a day) and I'm thinking about becoming asexual - would that be a great idea since I'm unable to make any relationships?

-tell your father to leave you alone, that you're doing your best.

-size only matters to some women. Some only think they want a big cock. Some know it and are able to handle it without pain/discomfort. It's an ongoing ignorant assumption by smaller guys that all women desire big cocks. As you see....not so.

-there are women who like shy guys, but as with all things, there's a limit. When shyness becomes a social problem, you should get help dealing with it. As long as you aren't suffering from an emotional disorder, overcoming shyness cab as simple as facing the fear by confronting it. Small steps...just make friends by joining a club or activity that puts you in touch with people. Go from there, push yourself but not so hard that you are truly afraid.

-Nobody is too old to begin having relationships. You are not alone as a late starter and remember that will be plenty of women who have ended a relationship and are available too.

-Don't be afraid to seek professional help. Yours is a very common and very treatable situation. A counselor can easily give you the tools and guidance to gain self-confidence and healthy attitudes.
 

AMTZ410213

Legendary Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Posts
412
Media
1
Likes
1,392
Points
498
Location
California (United States)
Verification
View
Sexuality
69% Straight, 31% Gay
Gender
Male
@Casketcrusher I didn’t say that dating apps where a bad method. I said that if you use them you have to be authentic. I also looked at your pictures and I think if you just go to a public space like a park on a warm day and walk around with your shirt off, you’ll have a line of people wanting to date you.
 

EquusAZ

Worshipped Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Sep 17, 2008
Posts
5,152
Media
148
Likes
20,164
Points
768
Location
Baltimore (Maryland, United States)
Verification
View
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
One thing really caught me. You said

"I wouldn't be so troubled if people would stop bugging me about it, but I guess there's something wrong."

Right here is the solution. There is SO much pressure put on people to be either into guys or into girls, but no one bothers to ask if sex is even the answer. The pressure is making you uncomfortable, and you feel a need to go do something you really sound like you don't want.

I was a 'late bloomer' and didn't have sex until 20. Non-penatrative until 21. Non-penatrative with a guy until 23. Didn't get penetrated properly until MUCH later. I didn't let other people's ideals push me. Thats never been an issue with me. I don't care what other people thing, I care what I think, and I didn't do something until I was good and ready.

Don't try to label yourself too much, or try to be someone you aren't. Just be yourself. People can always tell if someone is 'desperate' to get laid, and it always turns people off. Thats more likely what is turning people off.

If what you want is a connection, try putting that in your ads, but don't rely on them. Go out - have fun - meet people through clubs and work. When it happens it will happen and it will be amazing!
 

bkmuscledad

Superior Member
Joined
Aug 28, 2018
Posts
1,416
Media
0
Likes
8,874
Points
308
Location
NYC (New York, United States)
Gender
Male
You seem like someone who wants a meaningful relationship, so others' suggestions to get a hooker, or a girl to just get laid with, are not good solutions for you. I know this is much easier to say than it is to endure, but forget the size of your cock, forget what everyone else says you should be doing, and put yourself in situations where you can meet nice people. Be yourself. If you're not doing it already, put yourself out there in normal, everyday situations, and keep your eyes open for nice people. Engage people in conversations. There are girls out there who especially like shy guys (I know this from personal experience ;) ). You seem like a very nice guy. It's difficult for most people to meet someone that suits them. You shouldn't let the added pressure of thinking you're behind schedule make things even more difficult for you. You're not. There's no time limit for finding the right person. I wish you all the best.
 
1

1297766

Guest
ItsAll4Kim, thanks for all those advices, them seem to be very rational for my situation. I read lot of stuff about it and it seemed that mature virginity is a sign of mental illness and I heard being shy is part of being a coward and anxious (you won't be able to protect your interests, strive or make important decisions).

AMTZ410213, yes - authentic - that's the word I like. It should be situational and mutual. Dating apps feel more like "sexual markets"

EquusAZ, yeah I shouldn't focus on finding someone, everybody I know
 
1

1297766

Guest
ItsAll4Kim, thanks, everything you suggested seems very rational for my case. Yes, it's not good when a woman wants you just because of your cock. I read that shyness along with mature virginity is a sign of cowardice, anxiety and mental illness, because it makes one unrealiable and unable to make any decisions in his life. I guess it's pretty logical and fair.

AMTZ410213, yes - authentic - can't pick a better word. Dating apps are more like sexual markets.

EquusAZ, yes you're right. I shouldn't focus on finding someone. It should be situational and random. Every guy I know didn't really do anything to find someone, it just happened at the right place at the right time.

bkmuscledad, thx for the heads up. Yeah, shouldn't compain about it, I have to hold my temper.
 
1

1120562

Guest
I didn't lose my virginity until my late twenties. Chronic shyness mostly. And (although I didn't have any right to be) I was extremely fussy so most people who offered didn't interest me. I don't have any regrets about it. Best to be comfortable in your own skin. Don't make any decisions by others' expectations.
 

bkmuscledad

Superior Member
Joined
Aug 28, 2018
Posts
1,416
Media
0
Likes
8,874
Points
308
Location
NYC (New York, United States)
Gender
Male
ItsAll4Kim, thanks, everything you suggested seems very rational for my case. Yes, it's not good when a woman wants you just because of your cock. I read that shyness along with mature virginity is a sign of cowardice, anxiety and mental illness, because it makes one unrealiable and unable to make any decisions in his life. I guess it's pretty logical and fair.

AMTZ410213, yes - authentic - can't pick a better word. Dating apps are more like sexual markets.

EquusAZ, yes you're right. I shouldn't focus on finding someone. It should be situational and random. Every guy I know didn't really do anything to find someone, it just happened at the right place at the right time.

bkmuscledad, thx for the heads up. Yeah, shouldn't compain about it, I have to hold my temper.
You see, @Casketcrusher ? This right here shows you to be appreciative, taking the time and effort to thank each of us personally. This shows that you're a good guy and worth meeting other good people. Don't think of sex as something "to get it over with." The first time should be great, whether you're in your teens or your twenties.