Should I tell my girlfriend...?

[Charlie14]

How do know you girlfriend told her sister about your size for sure?

When her sister told me about my girlriend telling her I could tell because of how it happened. My girlfriend freaked out the first time she saw me and didn't know how to deal with it.

Independent of the above I would tell her that her sister got drunk and was hitting on you because I suspect that this is not going to be the only time it is going to happen. I am sure she will hit on you again

I was thinking the same thing.. I could see her doing it again. It seemed like she had been thinking about it a lot and planned it out.. the way i happened and she wasn't really taking no for an answer.

 

[JMeister]

Are you sure that your girlfrien wouldn't go for a threesome with you and her sister? Some sisters share a lot of things

(yeah right, then I woke up)

 

[Gillette]

How many more drinks do you think she would have needed to actually go for a grope? Does anyone think he should still stay silent then? If this had happened in the workplace it would be clear case of sexual harassment.

Chrysalis' examples are no less valid in the given contexts but they don't apply to your situation. Your situation is more along the lines of someone telling a coworker's spouse at the office Xmas party that he'd like to bang her in the copy room.

I'm with Pye on this one. You don't have to tell your gf the specifics, but by telling her that you're not comfortable with her telling people about your size she will likely be able to deduce how that got back to you. What the sister did was rude, you don't owe her any allegience. You did nothing wrong. Your feelings are just as important as your girlfriends, and frankly, much more important than the sister's.

As was said before she knows her sister by now, and this may be a pattern of behavior for her. You don't have to make the sister out to be a wanton hussy, but it shouldn't hurt for you to admit that she made you feel uncomfortable. If your gf does want to hear the story abreiviate it down to "when your sister was drunk at that party, she mentioned it".

You've been up front about everything else, why should this be different?

Of course if you chose not to tell her now and it does comes back to bite you on the ass at least you'll have this thread to show her that you went though plenty of angst over the issue.

 

[abraxus]

If your really meant for each other and you really love her, tell her everything that on your minda dn tell her that you werent sure if you should tell her or not, tell her the whole lot and she will understand if the relationship is meant to last.

Well that my limited opinion after 6 divorces and 60 failed relationships (only joking). go on tell her it will all work out for the best!

Trust me im a doctor!!!! (not really)

 

[yhtang]

If your really meant for each other and you really love her, tell her everything that on your minda dn tell her that you werent sure if you should tell her or not, tell her the whole lot and she will understand if the relationship is meant to last.

I'm with Abraxus on this. If your relationship could not stand this storm, it is not meant to be. And if it is NOT meant to be, better it end earlier than later.

 

[Charlie14]

I agree that telling your girlfriend doesn't help anyone.

It sounds like the bottom line in all of this is that you are afraid. You are afraid your gf's sister will tell her and 'make you look bad' so you're having the urge to do damage control before the fact. But your 'damage control' could potentially cause much more damage than if you just allow the situation to unfold as it will, especially since it may never unfold at all.

As MB said, you didn't do anything wrong. Be utterly confident in this and absolve yourself of any blame. If her sister really is twisted enough to make something out of this, then remember, your girlfriend has known her sister her entire life and probably has a pretty good idea what she is capable of.

In any situation, when choosing whether to "spill the beans" or not, these are some thoughts to consider:

1) Is your primary motivation to help yourself (i.e. relieve fear, relieve guilt), or is it to help the other person?

2) Will disclosure do more harm than good to the other person? There's a difference between leveling with someone and leveling someone.

IMO, it's important to be honest whenever you can, but there are some things that are better left unsaid, and some times when the kindest choice is to lie.

Some examples:

(better left unsaid):

Me: Your crew foreman is really hot. I'd like to fuck him.
TM: I really didn't need to know that.

(appropriate times to lie):

Woman: Do you think my tits still look good?
Man: Yes.

Co-worker (one that you like): Do you think my new haircut looks stupid?
You: No.

Sometimes I lie, I'm not sorry, and that's the God's honest truth! :biggrin1:

Yes.. I am afraid.. because of my past it puts my in a precarious situation.. even though I did nothing wrong here. I guess you have to pay for your actions and I am paying for mine.

But I really care about my girlfriend too.. and I DON'T want to hurt her unecessarily.. and in a situation like this I could hurt her by telling her or not telling her..

I look at it from my own position.. if one of my family members or friends did this to my girlfriend I would want to know. Maybe I'll ask her a hypothetical like that.. if she would want to know or not know.. the trick is bringing it up without making her suspicious.

 

[Gillette]

Just asking the hypothetical is going to make her suspicious. "No reason", isn't going to fly when she asks why you would ask that.

You've already come clean about your past and she has accepted you and it. If anything you are on stronger ground with this relationship than most people who've never had issues like that to deal with. She seems to have faith in you and IMO you should trust in that faith.

If she is going to be upset, it won't be with you. Does she think this sister can do no wrong? Will the news be a crushing blow to her? From my own observations sisters no matter how close are still to some degree competitive. You needn't rub her nose in every detail, but your comfort is just as important as hers and if she loves you she wouldn't likely want you to stew over this.

I can't predict how she will react, but if it were me I'd be happy you trusted me with your feelings. Chances are it could result in her calling her sister a bitch followed by a three day chill between them. The sister won't be happy with you but that might help to keep her away from your crotch in future.

 

[D_N Flay Table]

Hello Charlie.

Honesty is the best policy,
if you withhold anything for your signifigant other, it will affect the way you treat her in every way.
If you really do care about her, and it sounds like you do.
I would be totally honest with her about everything.
it will do nothing more than make your relationship stronger.
If you had a brother, who got drunk, and asked her to show him her boobs, and she told you, you might get agitated for a moment, but you wouldn't leave her because of it.

tell the truth. it will never hurt you.

DJG

 

[BobLeeSwagger]

The others are right, it's the sister who should be embarrassed. Tell the sister that you're going to chalk it up to her being drunk, and that if she never tries anything again, you'll forgive it. If she does, you'll tell her sister. Either way, you genuinely don't want to get involved with the sister, so you don't have anything to be ashamed of.

As for your girlfriend telling her about your size, it's not that unusual and almost understandable if she'll really had that much trouble dealing with it early on. I don't recommend asking her directly to stop telling others about your size because if her sis is the only one you told, she'll suspect something even worse happened. But you can mention that you're pretty modest about your sex life and would never tell other guys about her body, for example.

 

[Standard Deviant]

Actually-- tell you girlfriend that you didn't like the idea that she told her sister about the size of your penis and now you feel uncomfortable and nervous around her and that you almost felt like it was a test.

Honesty is always best.

This is the best advice! Follow it. TALK with your gf about this, right away.

 

[RoyalT]

WTF

Storybook anyone? Or is some freaky shit goin on?