Should the government legalize poly relationships?

[Principessa]

Do you think the government should allow a person to legally marry more than one spouse?

I voted no, and not just because I am one of maybe 4 diehard monogamous people on this site.

Marriage originally was a religious thing. To the best of my knowledge in countrys where more than one spouse is allowed it is tied to a faith. I'd like to see government and religion remain separate as long as possible in this country. Also, in the countries where one is allowed to have more than one spouse it is almost always the man who is allowed numerous wives. Where are the tribes or religions that encourage more than one husband?

FWIW: Legalizing more than one husband wouldn't make me cool with polyamory. I'm a prude by this site's standards and polyamory is just an excuse to cheat as far as I am concerned. :irked:

 

[dolfette]

Why stop there? We could amend the tax laws to give tax breaks only to individuals - rather than to "couples". While we are at it, how about saying people only pay taxes on their own individual income regardless of whether they have 1 spouse, 3 spouses, or zero.

actually, sarcasm it might be but i agree.
why should people pay less taxes just because they once wore a dress like a meringue and paid $1000 for a cake?

 

[1kmb1]

marriage is indeed a contract.

and it is precisely for that reason that it should be allowed for anyone who chooses. marriage offers legal rights ant protection when it comes to medical consent, property rights, etc.

partners of 20 years have been turned away from their loved one's death bed because without that contract they have no rights.

loving partners have been evicted from property by estranged children after their lover's death.

it is not for a politician to decide that two or more consenting adults cannot be allowed to create these contracts.

marriage is found in every part of the world, in a vast number of faiths...there are tribes in the wilderness who have never heard of jesus who still have marriage ceremonies and consider it a type of contract.

personally, i'm never going to marry because the whole deal makes my skin crawl. but i still believe that everyone should have the right.

what happens if youre in a vegetative state, and one spouse wants to pull the plug while the other doesnt?

 

[fratpack]

...and this is because marriage is working out so well. divorce rates are up and first deal with gay marriage.

 

[Viking_UK]

Even in the UK and US, there are already quite a few stable polyamorous relationships, although they have no legal standing. I can't say I'm for or against it. It's a case of each to their own, but at least if it were legalised, it would give the partners rights to inherit etc. It would probably make divorce an absolute nightmare.

There are various different types of polyamorous relationships too. The most common format, as far as I know is one guy with multiple women, usually totally straight, but sometimes the women are involved with each other too. Some, it's a couple of guys who share a girl but not each other or sometimes it's a three-way. You'd have to legislate for that too. There's the option of one person with multiple partners who are not in relationships with each other, ie each has an individual marriage to the same person. Another option would be that they're all married to each other. What if one partner wants to add a third or fourth? What if two want to kick the rest out of the relationship and go exclusive? I can see it turning into an absolute minefield where the only people benefiting would be lawyers. Add kids to the mix and it gets even worse.

From what I understand of Muslim countries where polygamy is practised, it's all about the man. He's allowed to have up to four wives and they are fully dependent on him. He can divorce them, but if they have children, he has a responsibility to pay for their upkeep. I think, but I could be wrong, that what usually happens is that the divorced wife stays on in the household to raise her children unless she marries another man, in which case the kids stay with their father and his other wives. Please correct me if I'm mistaken on that.

 

[EboniGoddess]

Damn, thats the smartest thing I have ever seen you post. (no offence) I am impressed! I have misjudged you. My bad. (not because I agree or disagree, just the points were well made) :wink:

Well thank you

 

[EboniGoddess]

From what I understand of Muslim countries where polygamy is practised, it's all about the man. He's allowed to have up to four wives and they are fully dependent on him. He can divorce them, but if they have children, he has a responsibility to pay for their upkeep. I think, but I could be wrong, that what usually happens is that the divorced wife stays on in the household to raise her children unless she marries another man, in which case the kids stay with their father and his other wives. Please correct me if I'm mistaken on that.

Well, in the muslim community a guy can have four wives........but most don't because you can only have up to 4 wives if you are able to treat all of them equally which is VERY hard for a guy to do. Its easy to have a wife who you likee to have sex with more or a wife whom you like more because she produces better looking children.....get what i'm saying?

I'm not a muslim but I do know muslims and they told me this

 

[ubered]

After reading Jason els post, I have a question.
Can someone who knows give us some insight on how poly marriages work in those other countries where its the norm? I mean, they must have firgured out how to handle all the legal issues mentioned.

In Islamic countries, as elsewhere, marriage is based on a contract. The ins and outs of divorce and inheritance law depend on the school of law applied in a particular country. Generally though, marriage includes a dowry, to be returned to the wife in case of divorce, and a contract signed by both partners. This can stipulate whether the couple accepts that the male may marry another woman and whether the wife has the right to initiate divorce, as well as financial matters should divorce take place. It's pretty open - though many women are unaware of their rights to negotiate their terms. Islamic feminists are pretty active in trying to make women aware of their rights under Islamic law. As an aside, sex is linked to pleasure for the partners - not to procreation as in Christinaity.

As far as how polygamy is practiced today in Islamic societies, I'm most familiar with North Africa.

In Morocco, polygamy became more difficult with the new Mudawana, passed in 2004. A woman can stipulate before marrying that she does not wish her husband to take a second wife. It also has to be authorised by a judge (as in most places). To be accepted, the man must provide justification for it, as well as show he has the financial means to support each equally and guarantee accommodation, etc. His wife must appear before the judge and express consent or rejection.

Algeria got a new Code de la Famille in 2005, replacing a pretty repressive one dating from 1984. However, a woman needs the signature of a male tutor (though this no longer has to be a family member) to get married - in Morocco this is no longer necessary.

Polygamy is illegal in Tunisia.

:biggrin1:

 

[2322]

Polygamy is legal in FIFTY! countries in the world. It's not as uncommon as we think it is. Australia and the UK recognize polygamous marriages performed in other countries too.

 

[Gustavovolvo]

Polygamy is legal in FIFTY! countries in the world. It's not as uncommon as we think it is. Australia and the UK recognize polygamous marriages performed in other countries too.

is it legal for both men and women. I mean are only men allowed to marry multiples or are women also given that right? Even still I didn't know that many countries legalized it. Thanks!

 

[ubered]

Just had a gander at the Wikipedia article on this subject. Hilarious to read the discussion of polygamy in Star Trek and spinoffs:

"In the Star Trek television series Enterprise, the ship's physician, Dr. Phlox (who is a Denobulan) has three wives, each of whom has three husbands of her own (including him). One of his wives seemed to be interested in having extramarital relations with a human, which Phlox himself did not oppose, and even encouraged. It has also been stated that the Andorian species enter into group marriages (although whether this is due to societal custom or biological necessity has not been firmly established.)" :lmao:

The article also mentions laws in Utah against cohabitation, surely this isn't true??!!

 

[dolfette]

what happens if youre in a vegetative state, and one spouse wants to pull the plug while the other doesnt?

same thing that happens if your children don't agree on treatment, or parents, or siblings.
this dilema is nothing new.

 

[D_Smidley Smelliepits]

i think it should be legalized since it should be us who decided on those kinds of things. Don't see any problems. I know three people (two women and a man) who live together and, believe me, it works. Now people can do it, of course, but it's the "contract" side which should be legalized in order to provide rights to each member of the relationship.

 

[D_Cock_Hudson]

I don't agree with it. Seems to be very male orientated and in societies judged backward by western standards.

 

[rob_just_rob]

actually, sarcasm it might be but i agree.
why should people pay less taxes just because they once wore a dress like a meringue and paid $1000 for a cake?

Because it makes the pro-traditional family groups happy.

Get rid of the tax breaks for those with stay-at-home spouses and you put more women (generally) into the workplace.

 

[NotSoDumb_Blonde]

Do you think the government should allow a person to legally marry more than one spouse?

Sure, why not? Why can't 'people' decide what they want to do and live a life they choose? And, to top it off, be provided for and benefit from, the government just as other more 'traditional' families?

 

[slurper_la]

...Also, it seems like the law is supporting the Bible and marriage is according to the Bible so polygamy wouldn't really make sense in that case...

really? why is that?

Biblical Polygamy -- Polygamy Really IS Scriptural! (sm) - Biblical Polygamy . com

 

[B_bi_mmf]

Do you think the government should allow a person to legally marry more than one spouse?

Absolutely! And legally sanction triads, foursomes, etc. Domestic partnerships of all types!

See also the following thread for additional discussion of this topic:

http://www.lpsg.org/133057-beyond-gay-marriage.html

 

[auto90403]

In theory yes.

In practice, it seems that legalized polygamy would be another mechanism through which vulnerable persons could be victimized.

yup.

the whole matter of consent and/or contracting becomes really really messy.

let's say i'm married. does my spouse have a right to marry another person without my consent? marriage comes with certain legal rights -- how are my rights protected if my spouse can marry someone else?

in most contracts, my rights cannot be unilaterally changed by the other party to the contract making a side bet with a third party.

husbands taking wife number two do not generally get the approval of wife number one.

sorry, no polygamous/bigamous marriages for me. if folks want to enter into such arrangements outside the law, where they are free to leave if things don't work out and where property ownership is governed by contracts that exist outside a marriage contract (and rights are presumably protected) then that's fine by me.

 

[B_dxjnorto]

sorry, no polygamous/bigamous marriages for me. if folks want to enter into such arrangements outside the law, where they are free to leave if things don't work out and where property ownership is governed by contracts that exist outside a marriage contract (and rights are presumably protected) then that's fine by me.

This is very true. Don't know how I feel about the whole thing, but polyamorous relationships are very common. Can't really think of why anyone would want to make it legal, but people constantly do it informally. Some call it cheating, especially when it's not their idea. But it is a very common expression of human sexuality.