Shredding Bonds

[SR_HollowAngel]

I figured I should ask on this site since I wager people here have had some experience with this (more than I do).

Anyway, I came to seek advice on this matter. I have dated a couple times in the past. There were times when I have been close to them (emotionally). The thing is as soon as I feel that or feel any sort of love from them I want to pull away and leave the relationship, cutting any ties with them. The feeling starts with unease and then builds to dread. I know this can't be normal, but telling myself to just get over has not worked at all.

I don't want to continue like this though, shredding the emotions of others for an unknow reason. Its sickening to think about it. I'm hesitating about seeing another guy for fear that the cycle will repeat again.

Is there a way to break this?

 

[aninnymouse]

Sounds like you have some serious issues with being truly and totally intimate with someone.

The question is, what is it about love and intimacy that botyers you, and that you can't handle? Once you figure that out, you'll have an easier time working past it.

 

[AdaramC]

let me know when you have an answer. i could sure use it too. i never knew how much of an issue i had with trust until quite recently.

 

[sexplease]

When someone special comes into your life, someone with whom you resonate, bonding emotionally will not be an issue. Friends are like this. Having peace and calm in your heart helps. It's through the trust and communication of friendship the comfort you seek will be found.
When the heart is set aflame, beyond the bonds of friendship, nothing could be much better.

 

[Sword_of_Damocles]

Therapy.

There's no easy solution. You have serious intimacy issues, possibly emotional instabilities and difficulty trusting others, and you really need someone to help you dissect the matter, finding the source of those issues, determining why you react the way you do, and then establishing exercises to help you overcome your emotional stumbling blocks and, in essence, retrain they way you think and process emotions.

 

[Dave NoCal]

It seems clear you have a fear of being hurt. What kind of hurt you fear is unique to you. One of the hard realities of life is that the possibility of loss is intrinsic to love. Another possibility is that you have a love conflict about being gay. It's not unusual in our still very homophobic culture. If you have access to the right and appropriately skilled therapist and can commit to going the distance you can reap untold benefits. I certainly did.

 

[SR_HollowAngel]

Sounds like you have some serious issues with being truly and totally intimate with someone.

The question is, what is it about love and intimacy that botyers you, and that you can't handle? Once you figure that out, you'll have an easier time working past it.

I don't know. I believe it has something to do with dealing with that fact that someone would actually like me (in that way).