Shunning an out of control toxic family member

[223790]

This is exactly the problem - there is NOTHING I can do about him for the following reasons:

1. At almost 30 years old, he is an adult, not a child.
2. He doesn't think he has a problem - it's everyone else in his mind.
3. His parents are in denial and choose to ignore the problem.
4. My help has been refused by my nephew before, and my advice has been ignored by my sister (she gets angry at my suggestions - again the denial factor).
5. He lives with my ex brother-in-law that I have no contact with (and I want to keep it that way).
6. He lives about an hour away from me.

Even if I were to contact mental health, they could only provide me with information that I'm already aware of, and would fall on deaf ears with him and his parents. As I have said before, I'm not the one that needs convincing he has a problem. I do not have the authority to force treatment on him whatsoever, and neither do his parents because he is an ADULT. Until he actually does something, there isn't much the authorities can do either. It will happen one day. I have no doubt about that at all. He will either get beaten up or killed when he explodes on the wrong person (as I have said before, he has received many online death threats in the past and had to lay low for awhile), or he will hurt someone and end up in prison or institutionalized. This is why I have no other choice than to remove him from my life altogether. Anyone that has been through this knows this is not an easy thing to do. However, the peace and safety of MY family will always come first, and I make no apology for that whatsoever.

 

[223790]

Can we please get back to the original purpose of this thread of many other people had had to do this before WITHOUT judgement? Nobody knows what others have had to go through to get to this point, so please don't pass judgement on them for doing it. This is a support group after all.

 

[Hairylegs]

You cannot save the world. It's taken me decades to learn that lesson. Time to back off and for YOU to stop going crazy over it. It would have been great if you could have helped or improved the situation. You can't.

 

[950483]

How fucking dare you! You have NO idea what I and the rest of my family have put up with for the last 23 years. I am not the only one in my family that feels this way about him. Where in the hell did you get "self righteous indignation" from? I am simply protecting myself and my wife (who happens to be TERRIFIED of him by the way because he has access to guns and has put his brother in the hospital before) from his abuse. You are a judgmental ignorant asshole and a "thundercunt" of the highest magnitude. If you don't have anything constructive to add, why don't you just fuck off? I'm guessing by this totally unprovoked and irrational attack on me you are schizophrenic yourself. Where did I say that I was going to have my sister put my nephew in the "nut house" as you so crassly and ignorantly phrased it? One last thing, you nor I are psychiatrists, so there is no way that either of us can definitively say that this is the case. It's a THEORY that was proposed by another member. You are jumping to all kinds of conclusions about my nephew and I, and passing judgement without full knowledge of the situation. If anything, you are the one full of self righteous indignation, not me. You are such a hypocrite and an asswipe to boot!

Oh, so he's been "toxic" since he was a small child then, has he? That speaks volumes about you and your family dynamics. What do you even mean by the word "toxic"? That sounds so ignorant and over simplistic that you might just as well just say "well he hates America" or something equally as stupid, nonsensical, and misleading.

I'm guessing by this totally unprovoked and irrational attack on me you are schizophrenic yourself.

You can fuck right off! No. Luckily I do not have schizophrenia or any other mental illness thanks. I really hope that you and your other family members can also appreciate how lucky you are to have your mental health and be able to function so well in society. As for "shunning" people - what kind of fucked up, oddball religious cult to you belong to?, what does that mean exactly? I have not suggested that you do not protect yourself and your family, so I don't know where you got that from. My responses have merely been based on what you have posted. I have not jumped to any conclusions. Don't want opinions?, don't start a thread.

 

[223790]

Oh, so he's been "toxic" since he was a small child then, has he? That speaks volumes about you and your family dynamics. What do you even mean by the word "toxic"? That sounds so ignorant and over simplistic that you might just as well just say "well he hates America" or something equally as stupid, nonsensical, and misleading.


You can fuck right off! No. Luckily I do not have schizophrenia or any other mental illness thanks. I really hope that you and your other family members can also appreciate how lucky you are to have your mental health and be able to function so well in society. As for "shunning" people - what kind of fucked up, oddball religious cult to you belong to?, what does that mean exactly? I have not suggested that you do not protect yourself and your family, so I don't know where you got that from. My responses have merely been based on what you have posted. I have not jumped to any conclusions. Don't want opinions?, don't start a thread.

I'm not going to even read or listen to your moronic bullshit. Try reading a thread before responding you ignorant cunt. I didn't ask for a critique or analysis of what I had done, I asked who else had been through this. You attack me and my family over 1 member who if you even bothered to read what I had previously written is not related by blood to me or anyone else in my family other than my sibling. It's not surprising that your vocabulary is so limited that you are not familiar with the word "shunning" in the English language and chalk it up to being in a cult. For your reference (from Google's online dictionary - and no, Google is not in a cult either):

shun
SHən/
verb
gerund or present participle: shunning
persistently avoid, ignore, or reject (someone or something) through antipathy or caution.
"he shunned fashionable society"
synonyms: avoid, evade, eschew, steer clear of, shy away from, fight shy of, keep one's distance from, give a wide berth to, have nothing to do with;
snub, give someone the cold shoulder, cold-shoulder, ignore, look right through;
reject, rebuff, spurn, ostracize;
informal give someone the brush-off, freeze out, give someone the bum's rush, give someone the brush off
"he shunned publicity"


Don't be offensive with words like "thundercunt" and then be surprised when you get it thrown right back at you. You're just another fucktard that has been added to my ignore list.

 

[1101550]

swoon must have been a shunned toxic individual, once upon a time.