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CaptainRugby

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Question for you guys to help me with:

I’m an open guy, never faced much hassle for being bisexual, probably because I’m big and masculine. But I find, and have found it, very difficult to admit to myself, or others, that I enjoy bottoming fir the right guy, in the right circumstances. Any thoughts?

Added to this is the fact that I have a great arse, genes and ten years of rugby, but for some reason I’m ashamed to admit I’m vers, it is pretty much the only sexual thing I keep to myself (and a few others).
 

SoleLover

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Question for you guys to help me with:

I’m an open guy, never faced much hassle for being bisexual, probably because I’m big and masculine. But I find, and have found it, very difficult to admit to myself, or others, that I enjoy bottoming fir the right guy, in the right circumstances. Any thoughts?

Added to this is the fact that I have a great arse, genes and ten years of rugby, but for some reason I’m ashamed to admit I’m vers, it is pretty much the only sexual thing I keep to myself (and a few others).

I'm no psychologist but I imagine it might have something to do with in-built perceptions (your own and other people's) of bottoms as submissive or passive, and hence somehow less masculine? I'd say it's fine to keep that information to yourself, and share it only with other guys you're getting into a sexual situation with, on a need-to-know basis... What a wonderful surprise it will be for some lucky man you want to get topped by :)

PS: It would cheer everyone up I'm sure to see a photo of that great arse you mention!
 
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halcyondays

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Well you have bottomed, you enjoy it and you just admitted it! Sounds like you're on the right track. :)

You don't have to admit you're verse to anyone except yourself and the "right" guys you want to top you. No one else needs to know do they? Shame or no shame.

My experience may be similar to yours. I top 95% of the time or more in part because bottoms expect it and in part because most of the guys with whom I hook up are bottoms. That said I've let every verse guy top me who asked. I'm not that picky because there haven't been very many of them.;)

Be as picky as you want. :cool:
 

CaptainRugby

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Thanks guys! I grew up in a stereotypically masculine environment (sports, boys’ school, etc.) and I have somewhat defined myself as bisexual and masculine and you are right that I viewed (view) bottoming as being feminine, passive and ‘gay’ and so haven’t wanted to use the label. I’ve not yet had a proper romantic relationship with a guy with the idea of being with a Vera guy is appealing to me.


PS: It would cheer everyone up I'm sure to see a photo of that great arse you mention!

I’d be happy to share the love if there’s enough demand!


You don't have to admit you're verse to anyone except yourself and the "right" guys you want to top you. No one else needs to know do they? Shame or no shame.

You are right that nobody else “needs” to know, but I enjoy being open about my sex life (too open some friends might say), so I want to understand more why I keep this close to my chest.
 

halcyondays

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You are right that nobody else “needs” to know, but I enjoy being open about my sex life (too open some friends might say), so I want to understand more why I keep this close to my chest.

IMO it's because you don't fit a gay stereotype. Tall and athletic neither did/do I. Most look at me and think he's straight. The first handful of guys I topped were gay and quite effeminate. Then I banged a gay athlete dripping with machismo. It popped the stereotype in my mind.

From lack of anal pleasure I didn't bottom until 40. I've never felt effeminate bottoming or like he da man I da girl. I've never felt like I was or wanted to be a woman. I have no problem with gay or bi men who do.

Our social indoctrination into gender & sexual stereotypes makes it a challenge to think outside the box, It did for me anyway. Most of what is considered gender is stereotype.

Labels stereotype. Stereotypes label. That's the problem with them. To define is to confine.

I'm glad you are breaking out of them. :cool:

postscript. one of reasons I keep my bisexuality close to my chest is because I got tired of having to explain it those who are not able to think outside the box.
 
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Curioushog

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I also quetioned that. But i was thinking why would somebody become bisexual and reject being Vers. I guess it is not really about position. But if one want more options , being vers brings most of them.