Shy , i hate myself

[Adnane boujenah]

I agree with others. I grew up in a house full of women..2 sisters and Mom. I been dealing my social anxiety for a really long time until i decided enough was enough and decided to figure it out...with help of course. I know you can do the same thing. Take small steps and get some self help books and start believing in yourself, and loving yourself and trust me friend the doors will start to open up.Take your time and be patient. One piece of advice I was told by my therapist and I am going to share it with you if you don't mind. You have all you need right here, right now, all you got to do is know you have it and trust the process. Love what is, accept what is. Here is a book the I recommend Ellen Hendrickeson she has a PHD in Psychology and this book has a lot of great answers to your questions. It is called Quiet the Inner Critic and Rise above Social Anxiety..How to be yourself. She also have a podcast called the Saavy Psychologist..if you listen to podcasts..Great stuff..

Thanks for the reccomandation , i will read it for sure

 

[Adnane boujenah]

Lafemme , thanks for the comment , i'm sure you wrote something that matters but i need time to understand it my english isn't that well

 

[Galloper]

There sure must be more topics than football you can bring up

 

[Adnane boujenah]

Like " the weather is good." ?
I think subjects opening is difficul in all the world , people would think i'm a weirdo

 

[Dave NoCal]

Perhaps, for now, you could develop some interest in football if only to get to know people. Surely they talk about other things eventually!

 

[Adnane boujenah]

Dave , to be honest i live in a country that 99% of its population are muslims , whereas i'm not .. that's another obstacle

 

[Adnane boujenah]

Declaring this fact will put me straight to jail

 

[Dave NoCal]

Adnane, your situation sounds very challenging. Is it possible to visit Europe, perhaps for studies?

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

Adnane, your English writing is actually very good. Dave NoCal has a great suggestion in visiting other countries if possible. It sounds as if there are simply too many factors working against you in Morocco. A shy non-Muslim who dislikes football....it's time to stretch your wings a bit, experience another culture where you have better options.

 

[EllieP]

First of all realize that you are not alone. There are so many socially averse people in the world who have anxieties about being with other people.

I have just the opposite affliction that I cannot leave anyone alone. So when I find these kinds of people I befriend them. They are quite uncomfortable but come around when they realize that I'm not going anywhere.

When my husband realized what kind of person I was when we met he found it interesting, because he is somewhat like the OP. He grew up alone with his guitar and was into music, not people. Even as a songwriter he preferred working alone but was forced to work with a collaborator by his music label, and it was painful at first. But he grew into it.

That was his start to becoming a social being, but he still forces himself to be in public. He's fine when he's with me or a friend, but don't ask him to go out alone. He'd rather be in his studio. When he goes on tour he will be in one of two places: the venue or the hotel. He's been to some wonderful locations, but he couldn't tell you anything about them other than the performance hall or the hotel lobby.

 

[halcyondays]

Shyness comes from fear. The only way to conquer fear is by confronting it. Talk to girls. Allow yourself to fail. Don't take it personally if you fail or are rejected. When you fall off a horse you get back on again.

It takes practice to develop a skill you don't have.

 

[Adnane boujenah]

Thanks guys , leaving morocco is not an option for me right now , i've tried but it's very difficult to have your visa accepted in a europeen country .
EllieP , i think i will be very lucky to find someone who is simular to you , whether male or female , and just like your husband i'm also trying to get socialized and be around people but whenever i do that i feel like someone is holding my throat and choking me , so i go back to my comfort zone .

 

[Adnane boujenah]

Shyness comes from fear. The only way to conquer fear is by confronting it. Talk to girls. Allow yourself to fail. Don't take it personally if you fail or are rejected. When you fall off a horse you get back on again.

It takes practice to develop a skill you don't have.

Thanks bro , whenevr i fail i keep reminding myself of that
And u're right , it's all because of fear

 

[ohiorod]

Adnane, because I don’t know the corcumstances of your community, I will suggest this, but it may not be helpful. Have you thought about volunteering? Whether it is with the elderly or those less fortunate, sometimes we blossom when we are giving the gift of ourselves. Obviously, you will want to expand later to be with your peers, but if you can build up your confidence and self esteem, things may be easier.

Please know that your English is very good and you have mastered it far better than I do with foreign languages.

Good luck to you and keep reaching out to lpsg.

 

[creek47]

I would suggest learning about what makes you tick and then go from there. You have to have some awesome qualities that will make people want to know you.

 

[rayray]

Get out in the public,even if alone . Go to shops and browse..Ask the shop keeper questions about products , clothing,jewelry and so on..You don't have to buy something, use it as practice for communicating with other people..It might feel painful by confronting your shyness but you got to start somewhere . Most people get over Phobias by confronting them .

 

[bravesoldier]

Whatever you may want to do, go into it very slowly. Choose something you want to do. Don't go into it all the way. Do one thing in connection with it. Accomplish that one small part then make yourself do the next thing in connection with it. It might help if you ease into things. I hope this makes sense buddy. I feel for you, I have cool, good looking internet friend like you and it hurts my heart he's so shy and won't or can't make a move for his betterment.

Just remember things are sometimes done one small step at a time. You are the only one who can make a first move. Just do it friend. Life is waiting for you and believe me, you do want it. Best wishes.

 

[insert_8]

. . . I don't know if i made my points clear im not very good at english as well

Your written English is VERY good. Many Americans - who have grown up in the U.S., and graduated from High School or even college here - do not write as well as you do.

 

[1079855]

Hey Adnane. I was in your shoes. Learn about the law of attraction. Think about the things you want, and not the things you don't want. Change your mind, change your world. You'll get there.

 

[Adnane boujenah]

Thanks everyone i appreciate your answers .., one should never stop trying