Shynes issue.. Where did you meet your significant other..?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by I_Parrish, Aug 20, 2010.

  1. I_Parrish

    I_Parrish New Member

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    After an extreamly terrible relationship, I have found myself stuck in limbo. It has been a very long while since I was in a relationship, and am having trouble getting back into the way of things.

    I am twenty five, a hair under six foot tall and consider myself an average joe- A very nicely hung average joe. I just can't shake this blasted shyness! What do I do?

    Where would a be a good place for me to hang out? Where did you discover your partner/significant other?
     
  2. HiddenLacey

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    Every guy I have ever met IRL has been through a mutual friend or one of my family members or theirs introducing us.

    I have a friend who meets men off of the internet. Maybe you could sign up for match.com, I think that's the one with the background checks. If I were going to meet someone via the internet, this is the route I would choose.

    Whatever type of hobbies you have outside of your home would be a good way to meet a potential partner in my opinion.

    Goodluck!
     
  3. goodwood

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    parrish -
    sorry to hear about the limbo. it sucks to be alone when you don't want to be.

    i have always met my significant others from them hitting on me.
    when that didn't happen, women always made nice with my friends for an introduction and then off we went.
    imo - the shy shit has to stop and imo shy = self focused.
    self focused in such situations doesn't work well.
    my suggestion? smile a lot, be genuine, ans see what happens.
    it can be starbucks and a barista, a waitress...
    talk to friends of friends at a party. be interested in other people,
    ask about them and what they do/enjoy. be yourself and stop hiding.
    it's easier said than done, i realize, but if you really want to meet someone
    to date and go out with, then you have put aside your own insecurities and focus
    on someone other than yourself.
    good luck!
     
  4. cbrmale

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    I met my wife through an introduction agency as were common in those days. Not so common today, and the ones that are around seem to be for older people. The Internet has taken over, but it's not so good.
     
  5. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    I'm in a similar place! I feel like walking around with a 'I WANT A FUCK BUDDY. APPLY HERE' sign around my neck. It would certainly make things a bit easier.
     
  6. SpeedoMike

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    if you find personal growth books of interest, I strongly recommend Shyness by Dr. Phil Zimbardo of Stanford University. he's probably the foremost expert on the subject of shyness.
     
  7. avg_joe

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    I love these all American average Joe type guys. If you are too shy about having a relationship, start making friends with people, then moving to the next level, building a relationship with a person that you are comfortable to hang out with.
     
    #7 avg_joe, Aug 21, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2010
  8. Rikter8

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    Welcome to LPSG Fellow Michigander.

    Where at in MI?
     
  9. nudeyorker

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    My first partner rear ended my car and totaled it on the 405 in LA. My current partner and I met on a blind date.
    In between these two I met people on planes, on the line at the supermarket and post office and the butcher, baker and candlestick maker. I met all of the cast offs in gay bars.
    My point is you can meet people anywhere. I posted this in another thread tonight but go to a place where your comfort level does not stand in your way... maybe do some volunteer work or take a night class.
     
  10. avg_joe

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    I met the hot cute guys at community college which is also the best place to make friends with different types of people.
     
    #10 avg_joe, Aug 21, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2010
  11. Sassy

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    I pretty much put that in a personal ad in the local alternative paper years ago when getting out of a long term relationship, since that's all I was looking for! :tongue:

    Basically, I've met people everywhere. Start by smiling and saying hello. When that gets comfortable, work up to "How are you?" Keep going up baby step by baby step to work your way out of the shyness. I practiced by talking to people in grocery stores, pumping gas, elevators, etc., and worked my way up.

    If it's not easy for you, you will have to consciously work at it. Pretend you're an outgoing individual; visualize that you can talk to others. Practice in private what you would say to someone. Commit to at least one daily interaction with an individual you don't know. Then, two, then, three.

    It'll be difficult at first, even painful, but the benefits to you in every phase of your life will be worth it. Good luck!
     
  12. double_digit

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    Take it from another shy fellow, Sassy has it right. Little bits here and there, work your way into being able to just talk to people. I am a talker and love communication, especially through the Internet as it is easier if things get too uncozy to apologize and logout. ;> But face to face I can be a bit reserved, alarmingly quiet unless there is a dire need for communication - especially amongst strangers. As I get a little more comfortable I find it easier to just relate things, connect on some basic level and then build on that. Will I *ever* shake it, I am uncertain, time will tell that one ultimately. The cliche of standing in front of a mirror and practice speaking to someone that is not there does indeed help. If I am forced to have to speak to a group of peers, strangers, etc.(which used to happen in my years of being a lab tech at the University I was employed at) I adopt a "persona". The "radio personality" mask goes on and it's showtime!
     
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