Sick jokes that make you laugh anyway

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by gjorg, Oct 1, 2007.

  1. gjorg

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    Tell us a sick joke----no holds barred. sexual orientation,gender, race,age, nothing PC. Don't hold anything agaist someone for this,ok?
     
  2. JC8

    JC8 Member

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  3. gjorg

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    I'll start

    A pedophile and a young boy are walking thru the woods and the wind kicks up,leaves start blowing,wolf's howl,lightning cracks. With that the youngster looks up and says "I'am scared" and the pedophile replies "you, your scared, I have to walk otta here alone"!
     
  4. D_Tintagel_Demondong

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    I'm going to hell for laughing at that.
     
  5. gjorg

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    Great biceps!
     
  6. jakeatolla

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    Two gay men who were life partners went to the same Bar & Grille
    for dinner and drinks every friday. They never missed a day, and were
    as regular as clockwork. One Friday, the Bartender noticed that there
    was only one of the couple showing up. So he walks over and asks
    "Hey what happened to your Friend ?"
    The newly single Gay Man replies " Oh, he had a heart attack a few days ago."
    The Bartender gasps in shock and says "Oh God , I'm so very sorry. What
    are you planning on doing? A burial or cremation ?"

    "Well, I'm actually going to chop him up into little pieces and make a nice
    curry and eat him." says the single gay man.

    The Bartender shrieks in horror and says "Dear god, why in hell would you
    do that !!!!"

    The gay male responds "Because I want to feel him dribble out of my
    ass one last time !!!!"

    :eek:
     
  7. gjorg

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    Like blonde jokes I'am stuck on pedophiles!
    How do you spot the jewish pedophile? He's the one saying "Hey kid lighten up on the candy,ok"!
    That was on TV from a jewish comedian(female) so no shit ,OK?
     
  8. drumstyck

    drumstyck New Member

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    what's the difference between a Ferrari and 20 dead hookers?















    i dont have a Ferrari in my garage.
     
  9. Not_Punny

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  10. B_Chris63

    B_Chris63 New Member

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    no surprise !All the western media as in France are crowded with jewish and jewish humour, and jewish complaint and jewish news... bla bla bla ! la même rengaine...and they do not make me laugh at all !
     
  11. D_Leonard_Boner_McCoy

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    So this dude and this chick are in a car alone and they are making out...hard. I mean, they are really going at it. After a couple of minutes of this, the girl pushes the guy away and says, " There's something I need to talk to you about. Ive heard some things about you..." The guy looks concerned and says, " What do you mean? What kinds of things?" The girl looks at him and says with a heavy sigh "Well I heard you were a pedophile". To this the man stays silent and thinks long and hard. Finally he says, "Wow. A pedophile. Thats a big word for a 12 year old"
     
  12. charlypan47

    charlypan47 New Member

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    Hi everyone, here's one about the famoues blondes:

    A beautiful blonde goes to the internetcafe asking to do a phone call to Europe to talk to her mother. The boss says: Hey, that'll cost around US $ 100.00. She says: Oh shit, I didn't bring any money, but I would do everything to do the call: The boss: Really everything? She: Yes, definetly. He says: Ok, come with me to my office, and please close the door. Nothing happens. He goes:Come on girl, unzipp my pants. She does. Hey, pull it out. She does. The guy now waits for the blowjob of his life. She grabs finally his dick, brings it really close to her mouth and says: Hello mom
     
  13. Sixofspades

    Sixofspades New Member

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    I'm absolutely not a homophobe, it's just a gag I heard the other day.

    Two gay guys are having sex when all of a sudden a fire breaks out in the house. Who gets out the house first, the top or bottom? The bottom, because all his shit's packed.
     
  14. gjorg

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  15. gjorg

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    :wink::wink:
     
  16. frizzle

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    How many Jews can you get in a Volkswagen beetle? 54.

    2 in the front.
    2 in the back.




    50 in the ashtray.
     
  17. drumstyck

    drumstyck New Member

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    loseer's pedophile joke is one of my faves :)


    forgive me for the following list, im going straight to hell.


    ----------------------------

    Why doesnt Mexico have an Olympic team?
    Because any of them who would Run, Jump, or Swim are already in the USA.

    ----------------------------

    I met this guy a while back, who kept saying that Holocaust never happened and that it was all a conspiracy by the Jews to trick the nations of the world into giving them the land of Israel back. I looked at him, quite shocked and offended by his comments, and told him that my grandfather had died in Auschwitz, and that he should be ashamed of himself. The guy looked down and mumbled an apology, and I let it be.

    Later that evening the guy asks me quietly how my grandfather died. A tear rolled from my eye as I told him, "He fell out of a guard tower."

    ----------------------------

    What's the worst part about fucking a five-year old?
    Washing the blood out of your clown suit.

    ----------------------------

    What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
    Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson fucks little boys.

    ----------------------------

    What do you get when you strangle a baby?
    An orgasm...well, at least I do.

    ----------------------------

    What has four legs and one arm?
    A pitbull in a playground.

    ----------------------------

    How do you make a dead baby float?
    Take your foot off its head.

    ----------------------------

    How do you make a dead baby float?
    Add root beer & vanilla ice cream.

    ----------------------------

    What did the boy with no arms & no legs get for Christmas?
    AIDS

    ----------------------------

    My favorite pickup line: "Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
     
  18. jtwildone05

    jtwildone05 New Member

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    how bout some racist jokes....

    whats a Jews biggest dilemma? free pork

    a black and a mexican are in a car, whose driving? a cop

    why did hitler kill himself? he saw has gas bill
     
  19. lorne

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    How do you know if your best friend is gay?



    He's gets a hard on every time you fuck him in the ass
     
  20. snobbes

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    Whats The Biggest Turnon By Fuckin A 5 Year Old?
    Your Dick Is Gonna Look Huge In The Pics.
     
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