Sick jokes that make you laugh anyway

[drumstyck]

How do you know if your best friend is gay?
He's gets a hard on every time you fuck him in the ass

Y'know how I know YOU'RE gay?

your dick tastes like shit.

 

[huw ginnit]

A young boy turns to his dad in the cinema and says "Dad, this man next to me's having a wank..."

Dad says...."Just ignore him then"

Kid says "I can't he's using my dick!"

 

[huw ginnit]

What's red and taps on glass?

A baby in a microwave...

 

[frizzle]

What's sick? Fucking a pregnant chick.
What's sicker then that? The fetus gives you head.

 

[HandTool]

what's the difference between Ann Coulter and a pygme cannibol?The pygme's a cunnimg runt.

 

[D_N Flay Table]

what is the worst thing you can call a black person that starts with an "N" and ends with a "R"???



Neighbor

 

[B_ScaredLittleBoy]

Madeleine McCann jokes

What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a tan?
A tan doesn't dissapear until after the holiday.

 

[gjorg]

The best part of fucking a 5 year old?

The scream when you snap their pelvis!


I think I might be sorry that I started this!

 

[deleted136887]

Difference between gravel and menstrual fluid? can't gargle with gravel.

 

[southwest]

Sorry for these:

Whats worse than letting Michael Jackson babysit your kids?
Letting the McCanns take them on holiday!!!!

How do you make a five year old cry for a second time?
Wipe your bloody cock in her favourite teddy bear!!!

Aussie lad driving over sydney bridge sees his girlfriend ready to jump off, he pulls over and says "christ Sheila, wot ya doing?" she says "you got me pregnant, now I'm gonna kill myself!" he says "christ, not only are ya a good fuck, ur a good sport too!"

NON-ALCOHOLIC beer is like licking your sisters tits, it tastes the same but it just ain't right!

New barman in the pub is black so I said 'lager please, nigger!' He hit the roof and said 'swap places and see how you like it.' So I went round the bar, he walked out then came back in and said 'Lager please, Honkey!' I said ' Sorry mate we don't serve niggers in here!'

Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering years after its been eaten.... its called wedding cake!

How do you get a fat woman in to bed??? Piece of cake!

 

[gjorg]

In the OP I said no holds barred on sick jokes! If your joke is sick and racist ok but downright racist jokes were not what I wanted. Thanks for contributing.:smileownright racist jokes are hatefull and not funny.

 

[sirpsychosexy]

how many midgets does it take to paint a room?
depends how hard you throw them

whats the best thing about fucking 25 year olds?
there are 20 of them

whats the difference between a pitbull in heat and a woman with PMT?
lipstick

whats hairy, has eight legs and makes women scream?
gangrape

whats funnier than a dead baby?
a dead baby in a clown suit

whats as wide as wide as your leg, 13 inches long and makes women cry?
cotdeath

 

[CBS1]

Two American blonde's are in the elevator one says what a good smell is this? Its smelling like cum, The other one replies Yes it is I just burp.

 

[CBS1]

Can you guess what name the doctors gave to a virus in a blond's brain?

""SPACE INVADERS""

 

[CBS1]

BLACK HUMOR
This blond girl was just getting to start college and she came to her father and asked him to buy her a Mercedes He says will buy for you only if you give me a blow job She replies back to him are you crazy? what fuck I will never suck
my fathers cock never and walked way, Two days later she went back to him and say its OK will suck your cock for the car the father says but now only I can give you you a ford scort she say OK OK give me that cock I will suck it, she start sucking her father's cock and stop and say shit your cock tastes like shit the father says of course it does your brother just got a new Mercedes.

 

[huw ginnit]

A man rings his boss in the morning and says "I won't be in today, I'm sick"

the boss says "why what's up?"

the man says "I'm in bed with my sister"

 

[earllogjam]

Two blonds were arguing in the forest. "No, these are bear tracks." "UhhUnn, they're deer tracks." "Bear tracks, silly" "No, Deer tracks, Dumbo."

While they were arguing in the forest they got runned over by a train.

 

[Calboner]

How does a Kentucky mother tell if her daughter has begun to menstruate?

She can taste blood on her son's cock.

 

[lorne]

Y'know how I know YOU'RE gay?

your dick tastes like shit.

You know how I know you're gay?
Cuz you're gay? and you can tell who other gay people are.

 

[mindseye]

My (very) guilty pleasure is this scene from UHF. It's not "sick", but it exploits a stereotype.