Sick jokes that make you laugh anyway
- Thread starter gjorg
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Thank you for the reminder.
Q. What do you call a leper in a hot tub?
A. (To be said out loud.) Stu.
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:scared1::scared1::scared1:CAUTION!!!:scared1::scared1::scared1:
I know this thread is supposed to be anything goes when it comes to sick jokes. But be forewarned, some people might be offended by dead baby jokes.
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Q: What is the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies?
A: You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitch fork!
Q: Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?
A: So you can see the expression on its face!
Q: What's the difference between a baby & a watermelon?
A: One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer & the other is a watermelon.
Q: What does a baby do in a microwave?
A: I don't know i was too busy masturbating!
Q: What do you call a baby on a stick?
A: A Kebabie.
I know this thread is supposed to be anything goes when it comes to sick jokes. But be forewarned, some people might be offended by dead baby jokes.
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Q: What is the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies?
A: You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitch fork!
Q: Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?
A: So you can see the expression on its face!
Q: What's the difference between a baby & a watermelon?
A: One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer & the other is a watermelon.
Q: What does a baby do in a microwave?
A: I don't know i was too busy masturbating!
Q: What do you call a baby on a stick?
A: A Kebabie.
crazy_one53402
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Harold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home. Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Centre to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.
One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks,
"Do you know what I miss most of all?"
She asks, "What?"
"Sex!!" he replies.
Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart. You couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"
"I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while."
"Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.
Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.
Then, one night Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K. She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Harold's manhood! Furious,
Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have that I don't have?"
Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's."
Lanny Petit
One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks,
"Do you know what I miss most of all?"
She asks, "What?"
"Sex!!" he replies.
Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart. You couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"
"I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while."
"Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.
Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.
Then, one night Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K. She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Harold's manhood! Furious,
Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have that I don't have?"
Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's."
Lanny Petit
Guy walks into a bar to meet a friend for a drink. He's grinning from ear to ear and a little sweaty, and looking very satisfied. His friend raises an eyebrow and says, "What's up?"
"Dude, you will not believe what happened to me on my way over here," the guy says. "I took that short cut over by the railroad tracks and I found a girl tied to them!"
"You're kidding!" says his friend.
"So I untied her and then we had sex. Like mad, crazy, passionate sex, every position you could imagine. It was awesome."
"Right on man!" says his friend, high-fiving him. "Did she give you a blow job too?"
"No, I never found her head."
"Dude, you will not believe what happened to me on my way over here," the guy says. "I took that short cut over by the railroad tracks and I found a girl tied to them!"
"You're kidding!" says his friend.
"So I untied her and then we had sex. Like mad, crazy, passionate sex, every position you could imagine. It was awesome."
"Right on man!" says his friend, high-fiving him. "Did she give you a blow job too?"
"No, I never found her head."
Michael Jackson and Father O'Brien were taking a bunch of altar boys on a field trip. The pilot notifies Jackson that the plane is going down and there are only two remaining parachutes. Michael tells the priest what's happening and he says "but what about the boys?". Michael says "Fuck em!". O'Brien excitedly asks "are you sure we have time enough?".
huw ginnit
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What do you get if you put a baby in food processer?
A hard on....
sickest I've heard in a long time....
A hard on....
sickest I've heard in a long time....
B_VinylBoy
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I went to a predominately caucasion school, and some of my friends thought it would have been hysterical if I went to a costume party as a Black guy in a Klan get-up. It always sat in the back of my mind that it would be TOO funny, but also so twisted that a lot of people would be offended. I'm SO thankful Dave Chapelle did that skit on his first season. Everytime I see it, I laugh hysterically. This wan't as good, but it was good for a couple of chuckles.
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