SIDE, not into anal

[Growing123]

I don't like anal. A guy can run his penis close to my anus but not fully put it in. If you met a guy and had several promising dates which left you feeling hopeful about a future how would you feel if he announced that he identifies as side and does not do anal?

Would it be a dealbreaker?

 

[steamyman]

Gay sex doesn't have all about anal. Not everyone likes it either way. I could probably live without it (even as a top)....but oral - that's a must for me.

Also if you really like the guy and there's a connection, the emotional connection would hopefully be more important than the sexual one.

 

[LPSG Simon]

Would it be a dealbreaker?

No, but that's what open relationships are good for.

 

[dana2]

I don't like anal. A guy can run his penis close to my anus but not fully put it in. If you met a guy and had several promising dates which left you feeling hopeful about a future how would you feel if he announced that he identifies as side and does not do anal?

Would it be a dealbreaker?

"Which one of uze is the woman?"- It is a cliche among straight people, and some gays too, that if two men are in bed together the only possible outcome is anal intercourse. But anal sex is not the be-all and end-all of gay sex. Personally, I do enjoy anal occasionally, it can be very hot, but I tend to enjoy and engage in oral and other activities more. I also like lots of foreplay and making out. So I do sort of identify as a side even though I occasionally will engage in anal. I am totally bored when being in bed with guys who, after after 1 minute of foreplay want to immediately jump to anal. To answer your questions, yes there are guys for whom this will be a dealbreaker. But those are not guys you would want to have a long term relationship with, because your tastes in sex are too different. There are just as many guys for whom this would not be a deal breaker and those are the ones you are better matched with sexually.

 

[cedarizzo]

I suppose there can be relationships where both are sides. But you really need to discuss that with your prospective partners. If they like anal, they won't be as interested in a relationship with a side. It wouldn't be fair to continue the relationship and then spring it on them later. Then again, maybe anal isn't important to them or they also consider themself to be a side.

 

[Andrej_u]

So let's put it like this.
Most men enjoy both anal and oral, but they have a preference for one or the other. But they still like both, or they don't really care and they "adapt" to the partner.
Then there are the sides, who finally have a name and the possibility to indicate their preference on dating apps! There is an enormous amount of men who do not enjoy anal, both as top and as a bottom. You won't have difficulties finding someone who has your same sexual fantasies, and who adores blowjobs or any other type of non-anal sex.

And then there's me. I'm incredibly into anal sex, while I don't care so much about oral. I prefer eating ass to having my dick sucked, because... You know, rimming is a form of anal play, blowjobs are not. I don't get turned on much by a blowjob if there is no assplay, even as just a fantasy or a possible thing happening in the future. Most guys don't have such a love for anal sex as I do.

So yeah, me and you, the opposite extremes in the spectrum. Very likely not a match sexually
But I think it's a bit unfair to call it a "dealbreaker". Both my and your sexual preferences are totally valid. And in the end, we will never match with 100% of people, sexually.

In the end, I think if I asked the specular question ("would it be a dealbreaker for you, as a sexual partner, if I like fucking your ass every day?") I would probably have a majority of people saying "geez, that's a lot! I can't be bothered douching every day" "I like anal but not every day" and so on. And then a minority of people who will say "oh fuck yeah, finally someone who likes it just as much as I do".

Same goes for you, I think many guys would say "are you sure? Like, not even anal once in a while?" and then some would go "oh finally I don't have to pretend I like anal, let's suck each other's cocks into oblivion". Filtering guys by sexual role on dating apps is your best friend .

 

[sundancer]

my last relationship was with a guy who had no interest in anal. I can take it or leave it. So we were sides. I love rubbing my chest against another, and rubbing dicks together until we cum. He made sure I got off every time. And that was the goal to me. To get off. Oral sometimes too got one or both of us off. I guess it just depends on the people involved. To answer your question, no, telling me that you are a side would not make a difference to me. So there are guys out there that would be happy with that. Its just finding them.

 

[cedarizzo]

So let's put it like this.
Most men enjoy both anal and oral, but they have a preference for one or the other. But they still like both, or they don't really care and they "adapt" to the partner.
Then there are the sides, who finally have a name and the possibility to indicate their preference on dating apps! There is an enormous amount of men who do not enjoy anal, both as top and as a bottom. You won't have difficulties finding someone who has your same sexual fantasies, and who adores blowjobs or any other type of non-anal sex.

And then there's me. I'm incredibly into anal sex, while I don't care so much about oral. I prefer eating ass to having my dick sucked, because... You know, rimming is a form of anal play, blowjobs are not. I don't get turned on much by a blowjob if there is no assplay, even as just a fantasy or a possible thing happening in the future. Most guys don't have such a love for anal sex as I do.

So yeah, me and you, the opposite extremes in the spectrum. Very likely not a match sexually
But I think it's a bit unfair to call it a "dealbreaker". Both my and your sexual preferences are totally valid. And in the end, we will never match with 100% of people, sexually.

In the end, I think if I asked the specular question ("would it be a dealbreaker for you, as a sexual partner, if I like fucking your ass every day?") I would probably have a majority of people saying "geez, that's a lot! I can't be bothered douching every day" "I like anal but not every day" and so on. And then a minority of people who will say "oh fuck yeah, finally someone who likes it just as much as I do".

Same goes for you, I think many guys would say "are you sure? Like, not even anal once in a while?" and then some would go "oh finally I don't have to pretend I like anal, let's suck each other's cocks into oblivion". Filtering guys by sexual role on dating apps is your best friend .

I'm the same as you. I love anal and would love to find a partner that was into it all the time. Oral, I don't mind it, but it isn't a favorite thing for me anymore. I honestly see sucking dick as a means to getting fucked. It seems so many men have to get sucked first in order to go to the next step (whatever their next step is).