signs your boyfriend is gay

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Femme, May 26, 2007.

  1. Femme

    Femme New Member

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    Hey there....to the ladies...has it ever happened to you that your boyfriend turned out to be gay?

    What signs were you not sure about, that turned out to be "indicators" of him being gay?
     
  2. punch

    punch Member

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    Calling you "Ralph" while he's boffing you?? :cool:
     
  3. B_NineInchCock_160IQ

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    If you have a penis, there's a good chance your boyfriend is gay.
     
  4. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    Dont joke, guys.She meant that in earnest. It is hard enough for us girls to decypher the behavior of all of you lovely straight men!
     
  5. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    It really varies from male to male... my gay best friend before he figured out he was gay, used to complain that he didn't have enough guy friends.
     
  6. earllogjam

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    Honey, he's gay if you're asking us this.

    There are no indicators that you are fishing for here. There are lots of married gay men whose wifes have no idea. Not all gay men are flaming queers you know.

    Maybe an indicator would be he doesn't get hard with you or he throws up a little after having sex with you. That would be a sure sign.
     
  7. Femme

    Femme New Member

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    One of my close friends is a gay guy. He was never a "flaming queer" either...so I understand what you're talking about.
    However with this guy...I don't know him that well, and we didn't get to any intimate stage yet. He's just really artistic. He sent me poems he wrote, about love (which one of my male friends called "extremely fruity") and he likes making sculptures...and photography...and he's altogether very artistic...I know it can mean nothing, but it pisses me off how everybody calls him gay for that.
     
  8. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Thats a common stereotype.... see where it goes before you make a judgement you might regret.
     
  9. earllogjam

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    It's not a black and white issue here Femme. Not everyone slots into the gay/ straight, masculine/feminine pigeonholes. I know a lot of effeminate artistic straight guys and lumberjack gay guys. Some guys swing both ways. All those stereotypes are bunk in the real world. There are no "gay" indicators other than whether or not he likes having sex with you.

    Are you afraid you are barking up the wrong forest? Does it really matter in the end? If he's gay you have a great friend, if he's straight you have a boyfriend. Don't let his sexuality get in the way of getting to know him. You'll know soon enough if he responds to your advances.
     
  10. IntoxicatingToxin

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    I know tons of artistic straight men... nothing really "gay" about that. My first real boyfriend gave me love letters and poems all the time.
     
  11. Principessa

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    Not a boyfriend; but guy friends yes, this has happend.

    Indicators of him being gay in retrospect:
    • They call me up and want to go shoe shopping at the mall. Straight men don't want to go shoe shopping, they need to go shoe shopping and this only occurs when a pair has worn out.
    • They take longer to get ready for a night out than I do.
    • They love my mom. (Straight guys gravitate towards my dad & fear my mom)
    • They own more than 12 pairs of shoes, boots, and sneakers
    • They tell me when I need a touch-up
    • They let me know when my weave looks raggedy :tongue:
    • They get excited when they hear Erasure is touring again
    • They get excited when M*A*C introduces a new collection
    • They plan spa days for us.
     
  12. Duality

    Duality New Member

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    Barring the poetry part (I only write short stories, though I have the basic structure of a full novel building in my mind), you've described me. And I can assure you I'm very much straight.

    Pursuits of the mind intimidate many of lesser intelligence. Especially the really competive male types, who (when straight) will do and say all they can to knock that which intimidates them down a peg, often by questioning their sexual preference. How does what you do in the bedroom affect the way you spend the rest of your life again? :confused:

    I really can't dole out any advice to you on the topic at hand, but when a person starts describing another person as 'extremely fruity' solely because of their choice in pastimes, I'd take anything that guy says with a grain of salt.
     
  13. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    Femme, you still sound pretty worried about your boyfriend. Girlfriends just don't question their boyfriends unless something isn't adding up somewhere, and that kind of angst can include whether or not you feel like the relationship is solid or going anywhere agreeable. I also think it's sad that some shreds of doubt are contaminated by men who just don't know better and take the easy way out in stereotyping someone's "untypical" behavior.

    On the contrary, art is a wonderful skill; many are jealous of people who can draw, paint, sing, play an instrument, or write.

    Is it difficult to have an intimate relationship? Does he withdraw or push away? Does sex make him feel pressured or nervous? Is he not so self-confident with his body or his image? Is there a lack of chemistry?

    I say, even if the boy is batting for the other team, I think you should just let your relationship peter out on its own. Intimacy is a bit part of things; if it's not working, it's not working. Don't go making assumptions otherwise. If anything, if a time comes when he reaches that point, he'll come to you as someone in need of support, even if he feels bad about some dating history.
     
  14. Freddie53

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    I agree that there is not a "list" to check off. For isntance a very straight guy might not take to your advances. Striaght guys love some ladies like a sister, but have never been attracted to them and the ladies attracted to them. So be careful in assuming that a guy isn't sexually interested in you means that he is gay.

    We would be in a heap of trouble if every guy had hte hots for every female and every female had the hots for every male.

    And if everyone had the hots in a bad way for everyone else, there would not be a way to have any true relationships.

    In reality all that matters is if you and whatever guy it is click together. If you do, then that settles it. If you don't, move on. If it just a great friendship then make that lifelong with romantic options.
     
  15. faceking

    faceking Active Member

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    Easy... use your instintic. It'll be 90% right, and the otherh 10%... will just lead to something else.
     
  16. faceking

    faceking Active Member

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    Indicators of him being gay in retrospect:
    • They call me up and want to go shoe shopping at the mall. Straight men don't want to go shoe shopping, they need to go shoe shopping and this only occurs when a pair has worn out.
    Personally... I love to shop for women's shoes for a woman... not a foot fetish guy. But I give it to them straight on what's hot, and what other women may like , but not turn a guys head.. and not a 4 inch slut heel necessarily.
    • They take longer to get ready for a night out than I do.
    Often that happens with me.. but I'm just slow.
    • They love my mom. (Straight guys gravitate towards my dad & fear my mom)
    Smart ones know to win both parents. how many girls/women aren't close to the dad, but to their mom (especially as time goes on).. fuck.. this is "guy 101"
    • They own more than 12 pairs of shoes, boots, and sneakers
    Easily have more than that.
    • They tell me when I need a touch-up
    Um... you win women via the wingman-for-women route more than the placid type. Besides.. when a straight guy is candid.. vs a gay guy who is clueless... you gain the advantage of "share time" when she knows it's hot, but just wants your approval, and lets you gape, gawk, touch, etc...
    jesus.. "Guy 101" here. It's starts with compliments.. then honest candor on "that being hot, but we're obviously not going to fuck"... amazing what a little RESPECTFUL FOWARDNESS gets everybody.
    • They let me know when my weave looks raggedy :tongue:
    Weave... no comment. Wrong hood, kid.
    • They get excited when they hear Erasure is touring again
    Most gay guys I know don't like Erasure. Bad bullet there.
    • They get excited when M*A*C introduces a new collection
    As above.. maybe in the Midwest.
    • They plan spa days for us.
    Depends.. if/when we need send certain women away.

    Oh I'm pretty straight up straight. Just comfortable.

    [/quote]
     
  17. leatherbottom

    leatherbottom New Member

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    There is no answer to your question. Non at all. I am often accused of being straight when I am in a gay bar. Even had a Lesbian accuse me of looking for women in a gay bar when I was in biker leathers.

    I had to wonder what kind of a guy would go to a gay bar looking for women, probably the kind that will never breed<g>
     
  18. davidjh7

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    Hell, I've been asked if I was straight when a naked cute gay guy was humping his dick in my face....that's how little _I_ ping gaydar!
     
  19. fortiesfun

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    Just pausing to imagine that. The whole thing makes me laugh!
     
  20. DC_DEEP

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    That's funny, njqt. Let's see how I score by your indicators...
    They call me up and want to go shoe shopping at the mall. Straight men don't want to go shoe shopping, they need to go shoe shopping and this only occurs when a pair has worn out. I hate shopping for any kind of clothing. Absolutely hate it. If I'm going to have to shop, I would rather it be at the local hardware store or electronics store. I have to drag myself to buy shoes even when the old ones are wearing out.

    They take longer to get ready for a night out than I do. It takes me about 15 minutes to shave, shower, and dress. 20 minutes if I iron my shirt first.

    They love my mom. (Straight guys gravitate towards my dad & fear my mom) I would really try to hit it off with both.

    They own more than 12 pairs of shoes, boots, and sneakers I've got 6 total - dress shoes (one pair brown, one pair black) 1 pair casual, one pair sneakers, and two pairs boots.

    They tell me when I need a touch-up Depends upon how long I've known you.

    They let me know when my weave looks raggedy :tongue: Not a chance!

    They get excited when they hear Erasure is touring again Who???

    They get excited when M*A*C introduces a new collection Who???

    They plan spa days for us. Only for a special occasion.
     
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