signs your boyfriend is gay

[Kimahri]

Hmm...difficult and interesting subject matter. Unless he's setting things on fire in your place by walking by them, it's not exactly easy to figure out whether he is gay or not. I know someone posted that they have a friend that was gay, but didn't know it and complained of not having enough guy friends. That happened to me too. I spent a HUGE amount of time physically horsing around with my friends in my teen years.

Anyway, there isn't a whole lot of tell tale signs for most guys. I've encountered some gay acting straights, so behavior really isn't a sure fire way to answer that question. I don't know...short of asking, I can't think of a way to figure it out. Well.....

 

[hotman911]

Hmm...difficult and interesting subject matter. Unless he's setting things on fire in your place by walking by them, it's not exactly easy to figure out whether he is gay or not. I know someone posted that they have a friend that was gay, but didn't know it and complained of not having enough guy friends. That happened to me too. I spent a HUGE amount of time physically horsing around with my friends in my teen years.

Anyway, there isn't a whole lot of tell tale signs for most guys. I've encountered some gay acting straights, so behavior really isn't a sure fire way to answer that question. I don't know...short of asking, I can't think of a way to figure it out. Well.....

Agrees

 

[invisibleman]

I think that you should ask EVERY man you meet. "Are you gay? Do you like men?" Asking them directly is the best way.

Then, if asking them isn't helpful...you observe. If you find him in an vulnerable position of Biblically "knowing" a man--Then you've found out that he has gay tendencies...or maybe THAT was his first. Then again, there are some straight guys that love doing men on occasion.

 

[D_golden parachute]

I like shopping for clothes tbh

 

[earllogjam]

That's funny, njqt. Let's see how I score by your indicators...
They call me up and want to go shoe shopping at the mall. Straight men don't want to go shoe shopping, they need to go shoe shopping and this only occurs when a pair has worn out. I hate shopping for any kind of clothing. Absolutely hate it. If I'm going to have to shop, I would rather it be at the local hardware store or electronics store. I have to drag myself to buy shoes even when the old ones are wearing out.

They take longer to get ready for a night out than I do. It takes me about 15 minutes to shave, shower, and dress. 20 minutes if I iron my shirt first.

They love my mom. (Straight guys gravitate towards my dad & fear my mom) I would really try to hit it off with both.

They own more than 12 pairs of shoes, boots, and sneakers I've got 6 total - dress shoes (one pair brown, one pair black) 1 pair casual, one pair sneakers, and two pairs boots.

They tell me when I need a touch-up Depends upon how long I've known you.

They let me know when my weave looks raggedy :tongue: Not a chance!

They get excited when they hear Erasure is touring again Who???

They get excited when M*A*C introduces a new collection Who???

They plan spa days for us. Only for a special occasion.

Well, that proves it DC. You definitely are NOT gay I'm afraid.

 

[DC_DEEP]

Well, that proves it DC. You definitely are NOT gay I'm afraid.

You may be correct. Some of the definitions of "gay" that I have seen in quite a few threads have everything to do with your appearance and general demeanor, and nothing at all to do with whether or not you like having sex with same-gender persons. Hence all the "I'm 100% straight because I have a girlfriend, but I like to trade blow-jobs with guys a couple of times a week" posts.

 

[stretcher74]

Hey there....to the ladies...has it ever happened to you that your boyfriend turned out to be gay?

What signs were you not sure about, that turned out to be "indicators" of him being gay?

Maybe he's just more cultured and interesting than you are.

 

[Principessa]

I think that you should ask EVERY man you meet. "Are you gay? Do you like men?" Asking them directly is the best way. I disagree. Some straight men will be offended that she felt the need to ask. Then she loses out as they walk away in an indignant huff. Many bi-guys will lie and say they are straight.

Then, if asking them isn't helpful...you observe. Well, I think that's why she is asking here . . . observing isn't helping her in this situation. If you find him in an vulnerable position of Biblically "knowing" a man--Then you've found out that he has gay tendencies...or maybe THAT was his first. Then again, there are some straight guys that love doing men on occasion. ROTFLMAO Those aren't straight men, those are bi-men hahaha :biggrin1: :tongue: :biggrin1:

Indicators of him being gay in retrospect:​

• They call me up and want to go shoe shopping at the mall. Straight men don't want to go shoe shopping, they need to go shoe shopping and this only occurs when a pair has worn out.

Personally... I love to shop for women's shoes for a woman... not a foot fetish guy. But I give it to them straight on what's hot, and what other women may like , but not turn a guys head.. and not a 4 inch slut heel necessarily.
That's nice, but it's not what I am talking about. I'm talking about when a guy calls me up and says lets go to the mall I need new sandals. I have never had a straight man do that.

• They take longer to get ready for a night out than I do.

Often that happens with me.. but I'm just slow. It takes me about 90 minutes to get ready. Okay, maybe not the best example :tongue:

• They love my mom. (Straight guys gravitate towards my dad & fear my mom)

Smart ones know to win both parents. how many girls/women aren't close to the dad, but to their mom (especially as time goes on).. fuck.. this is "guy 101"

• They own more than 12 pairs of shoes, boots, and sneakers

Easily have more than that.

• They tell me when I need a touch-up

Um... you win women via the wingman-for-women route more than the placid type. Besides.. when a straight guy is candid.. vs a gay guy who is clueless... you gain the advantage of "share time" when she knows it's hot, but just wants your approval, and lets you gape, gawk, touch, etc...
jesus.. "Guy 101" here. It's starts with compliments.. then honest candor on "that being hot, but we're obviously not going to fuck"... amazing what a little RESPECTFUL FOWARDNESS gets everybody.

• They let me know when my weave looks raggedy :tongue:

Weave... no comment. Wrong hood, kid.

• They get excited when they hear Erasure is touring again

Most gay guys I know don't like Erasure. Bad bullet there.
I know gay men who follow DJ's across the globe the way some people used to follow the Grateful Dead.

• They get excited when M*A*C introduces a new collection

As above.. maybe in the Midwest.

• They plan spa days for us.

Depends.. if/when we need send certain women away.

Oh I'm pretty straight up straight. Just comfortable.

Honey, he's gay if you're asking us this. As Oprah says, Doubt means Don't.

There are no indicators that you are fishing for here. There are lots of married gay men whose wifes have no idea. Not all gay men are flaming queers you know. EXACTLY!!

Maybe an indicator would be he doesn't get hard with you or he throws up a little after having sex with you. That would be a sure sign.

:tongue: Aww, come on it was a serious question. She deserves a serious answer.

However with this guy...I don't know him that well, and we didn't get to any intimate stage yet. He's just really artistic. He sent me poems he wrote, about love (which one of my male friends called "extremely fruity") and he likes making sculptures...and photography...and he's altogether very artistic...I know it can mean nothing, but it pisses me off how everybody calls him gay for that.

The only man who ever sent me love letters, poetry, and artwork for my room was as straight as an arrow. I don't think he's gay; I think he's probably just a sensitive guy.

Maybe the gay men I know are weird anomalies but none have ever sent me love poems. I have proofread a few college papers for them but thats different.

It's not a black and white issue here Femme. Not everyone slots into the gay/ straight, masculine/feminine pigeonholes. I know a lot of effeminate artistic straight guys and lumberjack gay guys. Some guys swing both ways. All those stereotypes are bunk in the real world. There are no "gay" indicators other than whether or not he likes having sex with you.

Are you afraid you are barking up the wrong forest? Does it really matter in the end? If he's gay you have a great friend, if he's straight you have a boyfriend. Don't let his sexuality get in the way of getting to know him. You'll know soon enough if he responds to your advances.

I think she really likes him and doesn't want to become emotionally invested if there is no chance his feelings will be reciprocated. I understand that; I don't blame her at all.

 

[WildHoney]

Indicators of him being gay in retrospect:​

• They call me up and want to go shoe shopping at the mall. Straight men don't want to go shoe shopping, they need to go shoe shopping and this only occurs when a pair has worn out.
• They take longer to get ready for a night out than I do.
• They love my mom. (Straight guys gravitate towards my dad & fear my mom)
• They own more than 12 pairs of shoes, boots, and sneakers
• They tell me when I need a touch-up
• They let me know when my weave looks raggedy :tongue:
• They get excited when they hear Erasure is touring again
• They get excited when M*A*C introduces a new collection
• They plan spa days for us.

Oh shit NJCT, my hubby is gay :biggrin1:

We are sitting here reading this and he ticked off everything except the make up (mac, he did however know what it was!)

My gorgeous straight man loves shoes more than I do, owns more pairs than I do, drags me shopping, adores my mum, and takes so long to get ready that I am often sitting down with a drink waiting for him!

.....now I just need to find him a boyfriend ( how hot, I would so love him to be bi..:biggrin1: this might just be the beginning !!!! :tongue: )

xx

Honey

P.S I tend to agree with earlogjam's comments here, if your asking the question, you possibly already know the answer

 

[submit452]

It's not a black and white issue here Femme. Not everyone slots into the gay/ straight, masculine/feminine pigeonholes. I know a lot of effeminate artistic straight guys and lumberjack gay guys. Some guys swing both ways. All those stereotypes are bunk in the real world. There are no "gay" indicators other than whether or not he likes having sex with you.

Are you afraid you are barking up the wrong forest? Does it really matter in the end? If he's gay you have a great friend, if he's straight you have a boyfriend. Don't let his sexuality get in the way of getting to know him. You'll know soon enough if he responds to your advances.

Agreed I had the same problem in school because I'm Bisexual and people didn't know how to deal with me as gay or straight.

 

[Mr._dB]

It is hard enough for us girls to decypher the behavior of all of you lovely straight men!

Turn about is fair play.



just kidding

 

[aristarchus]

Well, that proves it DC. You definitely are NOT gay I'm afraid.

Wow, I answered all the questions exactly the same way as DC Deep (except I have two pairs of shoes and no boots) yet I was the one looking for the choice "200% gay" when I registered for this site! Should I be worried?:wink:

 

[cofrader]

There is no way you can find out.
I allways been asked if i was gay (no, im not) in fact im a little homophobic because some aproaches of gays that i had.
I dont know maybe someone have a "rule" of gayness where i fit, i dont know.

I fail on all the indicators of njqt466 , at least it works for me.

 

[HorseHungHouseHusband]

I don't think that there are any signs; however, something is not sitting right with you - hence the question to the group. Women tend to be quite intuitive, so I would say trust your intuition.

If you don't feel 100% comfortable in the situation, move on to someone where you can feel 100% comfortable.

Good Luck to you.

 

[geeka]

Homosexuality has an emotional component, as well as the more commonly known sexual one. Many men are emotionally homosexual. Just think of all the men who treat women badly and/or prefer to be around male pals. Emotionally, they want their world to consist of men. Too many variables to really be able to pick those out that identify a gay man. I DO know there are many more around than will admit it. I would say any guy who hangs out here has gay tendencies. LMAO Admit it ya pole watchers!!!

 

[naughty]

Homosexuality has an emotional component, as well as the more commonly known sexual one. Many men are emotionally homosexual. Just think of all the men who treat women badly and/or prefer to be around male pals. Emotionally, they want their world to consist of men. Too many variables to really be able to pick those out that identify a gay man. I DO know there are many more around than will admit it. I would say any guy who hangs out here has gay tendencies. LMAO Admit it ya pole watchers!!!

Wow this is a wonderful concept in itself. The idea of emotional homosexuality would be a great thread.

 

[B_josiah852]

Well let's see.

Not a boyfriend; but guy friends yes, this has happend.

Indicators of him being gay in retrospect:​

• They call me up and want to go shoe shopping at the mall.
• (Actually I love shopping for new clothes)
• Straight men don't want to go shoe shopping, they need to go shoe shopping and this only occurs when a pair has worn out.
• Nope I have one pair of tennis shoes, one pair of tennis mowing shoes, one pair of dress shoes and one pair of boots.
• They take longer to get ready for a night out than I do.
• (Doesn't take me long to get ready)
• They love my mom. (Straight guys gravitate towards my dad & fear my mom)
• (Yes, I have always loved moms. MILF
• They own more than 12 pairs of shoes, boots, and sneakers
• (Nope same answer as above)
• They tell me when I need a touch-up
• (A true friend will tell you that)
• They let me know when my weave looks raggedy :tongue:
• (Once again a true friend)
• They get excited when they hear Erasure is touring again
• (WTF is Erasure ?)
• They get excited when M*A*C introduces a new collection
• (What is M*A*C* ?)
• They plan spa days for us.
• (Been wanting to get a massage, a manicure and a pedicure myself) A man i cure ? lol.

Well maybe this is a list to find out if your guy is bi or maybe just a metrosexual. Well like I said in a previous post tonight. We men are just as complicated as you ladies.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

Homosexuality has an emotional component, as well as the more commonly known sexual one. Many men are emotionally homosexual. Just think of all the men who treat women badly and/or prefer to be around male pals. Emotionally, they want their world to consist of men. Too many variables to really be able to pick those out that identify a gay man. I DO know there are many more around than will admit it. I would say any guy who hangs out here has gay tendencies. LMAO Admit it ya pole watchers!!!

Intriguing

 

[DC_DEEP]

Well, since both josiah and I asked, and no one is going to fill us in, I did a google search. I discovered that:

Erasure was a mid-1980s "synth pop duo." Damn, I'm glad I DIDN'T know who/what it was.

M*A*C was a little harder to find. I got hundreds of hits on Apple-branded hardware and software, and scores of hits for Media Access Control. I was about to give up when I saw one lonely little link about a cosmetics company, so I'm guessing that's the reference in the OP. Why the HELL would I be excited about their new collection, if I've never even heard of them and have no interest in makeup?:biggrin1:

 

[davidjh7]

Just pausing to imagine that. The whole thing makes me laugh!

It was a housewarmin party for a couple of friends. After some alchohol, several people got into the hot tub. It was an interesting night--and, no, I didn't hot tub, get naked, or get laid :tongue: