Silent treatment from best friend?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by iWatch, Apr 29, 2011.

  1. iWatch

    iWatch New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2010
    Messages:
    15
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    So my best friend of 12 years lives 2000 miles away.
    I flew out to visit last week, but spent very little time with him because he was sick. But he was still responding to my texts, calls, and e-mails. He apologized profusely for not being able to hang out while I was there.
    This week he's been ignoring me, and I can't think of anything I could have possibly done last week to merit it. It's really starting to piss me off.
     
  2. B_RedDude

    B_RedDude New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2007
    Messages:
    2,031
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California
    I wouldn't jump to any conclusions. Is it possible that he could be more sick than he was the previous week?

     
  3. hardmuscle399

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2010
    Messages:
    341
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Mérida (YUC, MX)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Or he could be s real bitch and trying to punish you. Be direct and call him on it. If he is be done with him.
     
  4. B_RedDude

    B_RedDude New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2007
    Messages:
    2,031
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California
    If you want to keep the friendship, the advice below is pretty rash.

     
  5. jasonunlv

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2011
    Messages:
    29
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Las Vegas
    Verified:
    Photo
    I am kinda in the same boat. I haven't seen my best bud in about 6 years. I have texted and talked on phone a few times in the last couple months. We were supposed to meet up last week but he just flaked out. Still not sure if this is worth salvaging or not. I must say good luck to you though.
     
  6. BJs4You IL

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2008
    Messages:
    559
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    83
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Lansing (MI, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    just when you think you're the only one...my best friend lives about 500 miles away. We talk online pretty much daily. When it seems like he isn't responding it is tough to figure. Of course, you flew a long way to see him. Is he straight? Is everything else cool between the two of you? Most of the time when someone seems distant, there's another reason for it. Give it a little time. A good friendship isn't easy to replace.
     
  7. iWatch

    iWatch New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2010
    Messages:
    15
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Yeah he's straight, but he's known I'm not for our entire friendship. I doubt its an issue, cuz we've been really close even since he moved 2000 miles away. And unless he's become so sick that they admitted him to a hospital--which I doubt cuz I woulda heard by now--I can't think of anything.

    Not ending the friendship. Anyway, if it ever came to that, he'd never do it this shitty way. Just wanna know what's up, and it's hard when I get absolutely no reply.
     
  8. ColonialBoy

    ColonialBoy Member

    Joined:
    May 5, 2007
    Messages:
    696
    Likes Received:
    5
    From my study of psychology "mind reading", which is a type of empathy, can me 100% wrong. You think about possible causes, the real cause often depends on information you are unaware of. Try talking to him about it.
     
  9. iWatch

    iWatch New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2010
    Messages:
    15
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    See... that's the problem. He's been ignoring my attempts at week communication all week. Can't talk to him about it if he doesn't stop ignoring me. So I guess my only options are to wait until His Grace decides to tell me why, or fly back there and demand to know what's up.
     
  10. cgttown

    cgttown Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2005
    Messages:
    462
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    10
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Tulsa, Oklahoma
    If you are concerned that something may have happened, you could try calling someone else who lives near him. Does he have a roommate, parent, sibling, or friend that you could contact? You don't have to tell that person everything, but just say you've been trying to reach him and can't, and since he was sick the last time you saw him, you're concerned. Perhaps your first concern should be for his situation rather than becoming offended that he hasn't communicated.

    This sounds like uncharacteristic behavior. When someone close to you exhibits uncharacteristic behavior, you're right to wonder what it wrong. Don't assume that it is about you, and, instead, try to find out what is wrong through other means. If you find he is okay through another channel, then you can start analyzing other issues.
     
  11. killerb

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2007
    Messages:
    2,102
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    47
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    Verified:
    Photo
    you never know what it could be...he may be UNABLE to talk.
     
  12. coachreffn

    coachreffn Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2009
    Messages:
    127
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    69
    Location:
    California
    You seem to be contacting him a great deal. Give the guy some space. I am not sure I would want to hear from someone so often (texts, emails, voice mails etc.) I am close with a lot of people but I don't talk to them daily in either text, email or on the phone. And why did you go directly to thinking you did something last week while visiting the area? And being 'pissed off' is not the most appropriate response to a best friend who has been ill and heretofore has been very responsive. I would be more concerned about your own behavior instead of his.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted