Single Moms?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_N Flay Table, Jun 11, 2007.

  1. D_N Flay Table

    D_N Flay Table New Member

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    This is a question for the guys..
    younger guys... ages 21-35..
    would you go out with a single mom?
    If you would tell me your profession, and your position in life.
    I post this because of a discussion I had with a single mom.
    I will NOT tell you my position on it.
    I was raised by a single mom, so I have a ton of respect.
    Lets hear what you have to say.:confused:
     
  2. B_Rivas_Boricua4Ever

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    I've dated a single mother once and it was okay though I'll admit, I was intimated at first. But it was a decent relationship and I really admired her, she was a fantastic woman. I think some guys see a single mother as "damaged goods", which isn't always the case and is quite stereotypical.
     
  3. D_N Flay Table

    D_N Flay Table New Member

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    so... why didn't it work out?
     
  4. IntoxicatingToxin

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    I love guys like you. :biggrin:
     
  5. goodwood

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    I am 36 and never dated a single mom, I was more of a "modelizer". However last fall my friend and his girlfriend introduced me to her friend who had been divorced for a year with two daughters, 6 and 11. We had e-mailed and spoken on the phone for a couple of months before we met and when we met it was an instant attraction. We are now engaged and I since I have always wanted many children I am thrilled to be able to start off with two amazing little girls and a woman who is happy to have more. I never not dated single moms for any reason only that models or generally beautiful single women were more readily available on the party/club scene. I work in Public Relations and have enjoyed a rampant party life since in high school. But now it makes me very happy to have finally found someone I am completely compatible with.
     
  6. bluekarma

    bluekarma Well-Known Member

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    First.....

    *kisses rivas_boricua4ever on the top of his adorable little head*

    Preach on baby....MILF's need love too, right? xoxo.

    Next: I am a single Mom. The man I'm dating is much younger than I and grew up as an only child. He has no cousins that he's close to, and has ZERO experience with kids. That said, he has come into this relationship with an open mind, and a willing attitude. I'm sure he is uncertain, and frightened, but he has put that fear aside in order to get to know my child and I. He says things much like the above mentioned cutie said: "I admire you"...."single parents work so hard"...."you are so much more mature and responsible than most women/girls your age". It feels so good to hear him say things like this. We single mothers have a common unspoken fear that any man without kids, or even friends without kids will look at us like "spoiled goods" or "stick in the mud" because we can't live and party free spirited like our single w/o children counterparts.

    Anyway...this should be an interesting thread...I'd like to see lots of honest opinions from guys out there...experiences, or preferences, reasons for those preferences, etc. I've had guys tell me they wouldn't date a single mother, for many reasons, one told me he flat out didn't like kids. Fair enough, right? I'm glad I found out sooner rather than later that he would not be good with my kid.

    For the record, the man I'm seeing doesn't spend that much time around my kid, usually an hour or so at a time. We are both busy working college students, and will be for the next several years. He's not trying to be Daddy, and I'm not looking for one for my child...so that's a big difference too...takes some pressure off him, I'm sure.

    :smile: CG
     
  7. Bootyman

    Bootyman New Member

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    So...
    Age 27
    Yes I would, with the same age difference "limit" I would apply to any other girl...:wink:
    I'm an architect by profession, not working in my field of expertise at the moment (I have a well paid job /for local conditions/ in a representation office of an Italian company, dealing with employment)
     
  8. No_Strings

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    If I had a steady job, yes. It wouldn't be fair if I didn't.
     
  9. biguy2738

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    Before I answer your questions, I do warn you that my opinions are very biased and I'll explain why...

    Yes, I most certainly would. The stigma attached to singles mothers (slutty, etc) has certainly been removed long ago...thank heavens for that. A friend of mine was a very innocent girl who planned to be a virgin when she got married. She had a boyfriend that talked her into it (I don't blame him entirely, but she really was naive) saying that he needed to make sure that she really was a virgin and he would stop making love to her before he climaxed....Right! Yes, young woman...older woman - all woman that end up being a single parent, ought to be approached on their own merit. My mom was a single parent, she was married - my father saw a need to spend his entire life sowing wild oats, so she raised us on her own.

    We all have our own set of values...we all make mistakes...why judge individuals based on stereotypes? There are two factors with which I would base my decision (with regard to dating a single mother)

    1) Most IMPORTANTLY - What type of parent is she? If she is an abuser or is an incompetant parent etc, there is no way I can stand by and watch an innocent life pay the price - the relationship would never last, so why start it in the first place?

    2) What is the emotional make up of the child? Is my presence in that child's mother's life going to affect the child positively in the short term and long term? How will my presence in that child's life affect the relationship between his parents? If I am going to have a negative impact on that child in any way, I am so out of there!

    My bias stems from two things: My own childhood has taught me that no child deserves to pay for the sins of their parents...and no single parent ought to pay the price for the sins of the other parent.

    The second reason why I would see that child/ren more as a gift than a hindrance, is because about 2-3 years ago, my wife went for her annual check up at the gynae, she had to go for scans etc and the radiologist told her that she had so many fibroids that she may as well have a hysterectomy - she will never fall pregnant. Because they weren't cancerous, we decided to let things be...and as difficult as it was, accepted the fact that we would never have children of our own. About six months later we found out that she had fallen pregnant - A huge, wonderful surprise....Two months later she miscarried. I don't think that a parent realises the value of a child until they want one, expect one and then lose one. That is why, when it comes to children - not one of their little hairs must be harmed...or else!
     
  10. goodwood

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    I have to say that as far as my enfianced is concerned, she is an excellent and loving mother. I had been very reticient to know her children in the event things did not work out between us. However since things have gone very well with us I have been able to become very close to her children and it is wonderful to find such delightful, thoughtful, loving and funny children who can't wait for me to be their "new dad". I know many single mothers and I don't know how they do it all especially the ones who work full time.
    To big guy - I am deeply dorry to hear of your and your wife's loss. That is devestating. I hope you are both doing better now. Have you thought about surrogacy or adoption?
     
  11. D_N Flay Table

    D_N Flay Table New Member

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    did you know that in the state of california, even if the kids are NOT yours and you marry a single mother, and get divorced, you may be liable to pay child support?
    nice eh?
     
  12. goodwood

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    Huh. Was not aware of that California legality re. child support for children that are not one's own. Really?
     
  13. biguy2738

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    To big guy - I am deeply dorry to hear of your and your wife's loss. That is devestating. I hope you are both doing better now. Have you thought about surrogacy or adoption?[/quote]

    Thanks goodwood, I really appreciate it. It was difficult, but we had a lot to be grateful for because a client of mine (at the time and has since become a close friend) is a specialist obstetrician and gynae and offered to take care of my wife as soon as she heard she was pregnant. As painful as the loss was, we were really in compassionate hands.

    My wife is a very soft, gentle person and she was completely devastated. We decided to leave everything in God's hands i.e. if it's meant to be, it will be, and if not so be it and then we will look at adoption. Though my friend tries very hard to encourage us to try again...and trust me we don't use any form of contraception - information overload :wink: , I refuse to go down that road...purely because I know that if we pay a lot of attention on her falling pregnant and she ends up miscarrying, I don't think that she'd cope, especially after focusing on it.

    I do appreciate your concern. Thank you.
     
  14. Hockeytiger

    Hockeytiger Active Member

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    I'm at the upper end of your age range and that makes a huge difference. Nowadays, I would have less issues with it than if I were 21. At 21 I was soooo note ready for kids.

    First of all, if I had a choice between a single mother and not, and everything else was equal, which it never is, I would choose the non-mother. Kids add stress and complications. In choosing a partner, you need, to a certain degree, to be selfish. At my age, 33, that is not a no-go, but it would give me pause. I would want to know the circumstances of why she is a single mother. If she is a widow, then there is little additional problem at all. If the guy just up and walked out, then I have to question her judgment (that and be tempted to beat the crap out of him). If the child was an accident, then I again have to question her judgment, but less so. That only requires a momentary lapse in judgment. But still a lapse over a VERY serious issue. If it was intentional and there is no partner, apart from the biological requirement, then it becomes much more circumstantial.

    So the answer is yes, at my age, I would date a single mother, but I would keep my eyes wide open (well more open than usual) for danger signs.

    As for my profession, I am at both ends of the spectrum. Out of college I played minor pro hockey then went on to go to law school and business school, so I'm pretty heavily white collar now (at least occupationally, I’m still a farmer and hockey player at heart). I got married right out of college (11 years ago now, ugh, getting old) and we now have a 9 ½ month old.

    I also was raised by a single mother, after my father died when I was very young.
     
  15. datdude

    datdude New Member

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    Im in a good postion with income and could dat a woman with kids.
    I dont know if I would though. Is the dad still in the picture? That could some problems and I really would not want him around all the time, it would just be akward. What if hes a nutcase? Are the kids going to respect you? Does she want anymore kids?
    Lots of issues to take on, when there are women out there with no kids.
    Im not close minded about it though, but you have to respect the kids feeling also.
     
  16. EddieAztek

    EddieAztek New Member

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    I love to fuck the American single mamas! She will do anything for me and she's ready to let me fuck her anywhere, anytime. Tables! Sofas! Kitchen, bed, shower, hood on her car, laundry room, all of these palces. I fuck them in a public park, behind 7-11, alleys, stairwell, movies, Pier 1 store, anywhere! Send the kids to the basement and I'll fuck the mama in her fat little cunt, the ass, slap her ass and make her yell like a mad wolf! She :naughty: wild, wild, willlld! She not boring, so don't believe what you hear!
     
  17. D_N Flay Table

    D_N Flay Table New Member

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    ouch, good for you... but ouch.
     
  18. agnslz

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    I hope that was an attempt at humor, 'cause if it wasn't.. :eek:!!


    Obviously I won't be dating a single mom (or any woman) anytime soon, but I have the utmost of respect for them and what they manage to do on their own. My mom raised us kids alone for over five years and she did it with grace, dignity and love. Good going to all those women who manage to do the same!
     
  19. EddieAztek

    EddieAztek New Member

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    I'm not trying to be funny here man! That single mama is busy, sometimes she working two jobs and she going to get some sex wherever she can and whenever she have the time. I'm not calling them freaks for that, right! When I say she wild, is because she just loves sex and every minute with her like BANG, even when she only has fifteen minutes alone! Wow! This exciting to me! She's alive like all women are alive and needing to be loved and held by a man. I'm telling you the truth, that single mama is fucking every time her kids back turned and out of the house.
     
  20. D_N Flay Table

    D_N Flay Table New Member

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    man.. thats sad...
    I feel bad that you feel thats what single moms are like.
     
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