Single mother by choice?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by IntoxicatingToxin, Oct 29, 2007.

  1. IntoxicatingToxin

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  2. dong20

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    Unless there is reason to believe she would be an unfit parent what's to think?
     
  3. IntoxicatingToxin

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    Well, lots of people feel like the father should be in the childs life. When people are married, then have kids, then get divorced, then things are very different. Do these women even get to know the names of the donors? What happens when the child grows up and wants to meet its dad?
     
  4. Not_Punny

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    I say you go girl.

    If a huge percent of dads are absent or barely there, how is this any different or worse?

    A parent that WANTS a child -- and I don't care if there are one or two parents -- is about the best thing that can happen to a child, period.
     
  5. Not_Punny

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    You tell them the truth (but without the turkey baster embellishment). Telling a child how much you wanted to have him/her, and how happy you are with him/her, is music to any child's ears.
     
  6. dong20

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    I understand and I wasn't being intentionally flippant (well, perhaps a little) it's just the issues you raise were so obvious (to me) I assumed you would take them as read. My original reply still stands, if the woman would otherwise be a fit parent that outweighs other considerations such as having two parents, IMHO. I don't know about the rules on knowing donor ID, isn't that confidential?

    There are issues to consider, naturally. Without evidence to the contrary I assume she has. Last time I checked there wasn't a fit for purpose assessment for 'natural' parents, though I seem to recall you (or maybe someone else) and me joked that there should be a while back. With a birth strategy such as this, aren't some checks made?

    There have been many threads and much discussion about the pros and cons of the 'traditional' family. Values and social norms are changing, only time (and the next generation) will tell which direction. It's a no win discussion because there's only opinion and statistics.

    A 'natural' father could any of 100 things some good, some bad, as of course could the mother. Those and other such considerations would need to be weighed against 'lots of peoples' opinion - none of whom would likely be responsible for raising the child.
     
  7. SpeedoGuy

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    Its a woman's right to raise a child solo if she so chooses but I can't deny that I'm dismayed to see the contribution of dads becoming nothing more than what can be frozen in a test tube.
     
  8. IntoxicatingToxin

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    I will add, I have no complaints to women getting sperm donations and having children on their own - I myself am a single mother, but I actually had sex with my sons sperm donor - that's about the only difference. :tongue: So I'm not bashing, just tossing around thoughts and ideas.
     
  9. findfirefox

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    I'm sure there are some benefits to having both parents but I think that raising a child is good for the parent and that its always good to have a child raised into a good adult.

    This issue always reminds me of the side of gay couples having children, many people say that its not as good because they don't have a mother and father, but I have always thought one parent is better then none, even if a mother can't imitate a male or male imitate a female...
     
  10. Osiris

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    I believe thus:

    Anyone can father a child, it takes a real man to be a dad.

    My kids call me daddy because I am there every night when they go to sleep and most mornings when they wake up. I put a roof over their heads, food in their stomachs, and intelligence in their minds. When they fall, I pick them up and kiss the scrapes. When they are bad, I scold with love in my heart. When they are sad, I remind them how beloved they are to me.

    I have a daughter and a son. My son is not mine biologically, but he will tell you I am daddy. His "sperm donor" was over $25,000 in arrears on his child support. I would say he voided any parental rights there. I adopted him and when my son gets that scholarship, or plays football, or invents a procedure to rid the world of cancer or AIDS, I will be the one he says thank you to for giving him the body, mind, and love to do it.

    You know how I feel about you Megs and there are women out there who "pop out babies" as an excuse to hold a man hostage or rape the system for money. These women are disgusting and I applaud you for being a single mother, giving your son the love his "sperm donor" won't, and providing a loving, nurturing environment for him to grow and flourish in.
     
  11. transformer_99

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    I'm against it for obvious reasons.
     
  12. joyboytoy79

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    Why not? I think being a single mother after making an informed decision to become one is much better than being a single mother after an accidental night of drunken sex at the local dance club.

    "I don't know who your father is because he was an anonymous sperm donor," is by far preferable to "I don't know who your daddy is because i was too drunk to ask his name." The former quote is even preferable to "I could tell you who your daddy is, but he walked out on us and doesn't want to be found, so don't bother."

    I'm not saying that a family with two parents isn't a good thing. I believe it is a good thing. I also believe that a family with only one, very loving parent is acceptable and commendable. I don't think the amount of parents is important at all, the amount of love is the real issue.
     
  13. joyboytoy79

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    they aren't so obvious to me, could you please elaborate?
     
  14. snoozan

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    Said it better than I could.

    And you're so damned sexy, too.
     
  15. Principessa

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    He doesn't, he can't, the mom will just have to explain how he was conceived. This isn't really news. It's been happening for decades now.


    Amen, I agree. :smile::cool:

    Fear not SpeedoGuy, men will never become obsolete. What you as a happily married man with a new baby fail to realize, is that there are very few men ready and willing to make that type of commitment these days. Men joke about it, but women do have a biological clock. Stringing a woman along for 3, 5, 10 years and making all sorts of promises i.e. LIES is part of what leads us to where we are today.

    Oh yeah, and read this thread, "Is there truly someone out there for everyone?" A 35+ year old woman does not have time for a man to finish playing the field, sowing his oats; or getting all his ducks in a row.

    :confused::question: Sorry, but your reasons are nowhere near obvious to me. You will need to expand on your previous statement.

    :hail:Let the congregation say AMEN! :yup::hail:
     
  16. transformer_99

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    Does anyone that has responded to this thread in support of this ridiculous notion actually think one person can raise a child on their own without shouldering the responsibility to the rest of society ? Want a child to love so badly, go adopt one, there are plenty out there. Get real, the two that are required to start a family, need to see that creationism thru to adulthood. I'm sick and tired of hearing about disposable families in this world. Adoption at the level that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have taken it to is even ridiculous, those two simply don't have the time to raise those children in a one on one relationship.

    With all this in mind, let's just bring more children into this world for their dose of misery of at least a latch key childhood if not something worse like this.

    Feed The Children: Niger Crisis - Africa in Famine
     
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