Size - Do You Even Notice?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by B_subgirrl, Oct 26, 2010.

  1. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    Recently I told someone that women are only likely to even notice a guy's size if he's particularly big or small, and that for most of us, size just doesn't matter enough that we stop to think about it. This is certainly true for myself and my friends. Even as someone who likes length, I still won't even notice size unless they are at an extreme end of the spectrum.

    I did wonder if maybe I was exaggerating the number of guys whose size I didn't even notice, but when I went back through the list (of names, not sizes) I found that there were only a handful of guys whose size I could even guesstimate. Most seemed to fall into a general 'didn't even notice, so I guess they were average' category.

    To be specific, there were 7 whose sizes I knew or could guesstimate, two who were just 'holy fuck, you're big' (not enough experience at the time to guess a size, although I know they were over 7), 1 who was definitely smaller than average, and 17 (!!!!) who's sizes I had no idea about (and were therefore average?).

    So I guess my question is, do you notice size? Do you do some automatic categorising thing in your mind? Are you like me, not noticing size at all unless they are at the extreme end of the scale? Or do you do something else entirely (maybe measure every one and keep a list)?

    Any thoughts on this phenomenon are welcome.



    NOTE: This is NOT a thread about what sizes we do and don't like, so if you want people to look at your cock or tell you their preferences, this is NOT the place to do it!
     
  2. D_Beauregard Bottomless

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    Hello
    I have to agree size isnt everything!! infact most guys think it matters why I have no Idea?? most women cannot handle more than average if there is such a thing as average!! i think its a mind game anyway size and girth if you can have fun with it and the person you are with then thats all that matters instead of looking around for somewhere to stick it lol
    Don
     
  3. petite

    petite New Member

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    I think you described it quite well. I'm a non-measurer and I think that the ones that stand out are the ones that were at the extreme end of the scale. The vast majority of my lovers were in the average range, and they're the ones that didn't make me think that they were either large or small when I was in bed with them. I just didn't think about it. I couldn't tell you who was a half an inch larger or smaller within that average range, and I think that's why I think it's so silly when men fret over small dimension differences. For me, there are obviously so many other things that matter more since I don't remember dimensional differences like that, but I vividly recall so many other things.

    Just talking about how a man is in bed, I'm much more likely to think about and remember a man's attitude in bed, how much fun he is, how many orgasms he gives me, how he kisses, that great way that he sucks on my earlobe or bites my neck, how his tongue feels on my clitoris, the sexy things he says, how he grinds with his hips, what positions he uses and how well he uses them, how he uses his hands on my body, how well he touches my clitoris, how he gazes at me, how he looks into my eyes, how he moves his body on top of me, the sounds that he makes, how long he lasts in bed, how hot he is when he orgasms, and what he does during the afterglow. Among other things. :smile:
     
    #3 petite, Oct 26, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2010
  4. ManlyBanisters

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    Yeah - this.

    I think it is safer to say it's about only noticing extremes of size than not noticing it at all.

    It's been 14 years since I've done the casual sex thing - so maybe my mind is fogged. I mean I'm getting on a bit now and starting to have senior moments where I can't remember what I've come to the supermarket for or the names of my cousins' children (I only have 4 cousins who, between them, have 5 kids, so that is disturbing - and when I say between them I mean with other people, not that my cousins had children together - see I'm rambling... senior moments)... anyway - yes, right, 14 years since the fucking around days and I really could not tell you what size any of the guys were.

    As I said in another thread just now, of my 'casual sex days' partners there was one I considered big, one small (I have a guestimate in mind for those 2 but could be way off) and the only other guy whose size registers still is the guy who told me a few women had commented on him being small. Up to that point I hadn't noticed but, once he'd said it, I did wonder if he wasn't a tiny bit thinner than what I considered average. Either way, it didn't effect my enjoyment level.
     
  5. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    You're right, size isn't everything. Sex is about so much more than that.

    It seems to me that many men are so obsessed with size that they don't even realise that women often don't think about it at all (or at least, I THINK women often don't think about it - hence the thread to find out).


    I was hoping you'd respond Petite - thank you :smile:

    I agree with you about the half an inch. It really doesn't make a lot of difference in the general scheme of things. If they are average-ish, they just end up in that general ? category.


    Yes, in my experience THIS is the sort of thing women talk about when they are telling people how good their guy is in bed. These sorts of things are the things that really seem to matter.

    And unless the talk has been specifically bedroom-focused, women are even more likely to talk about how much housework their guy does, or the flowers he bought you last week, or how much he listens, or the amazing conversations she has with him, etc.
     
  6. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    :biggrin1:


    Most of mine were a decade or so ago, so I had to try to put myself in my younger self's brain and try to remember what I thought then. And largely came up with 'I didn't really think about it'.

    I do remember measuring a few of them (the LTRs) - more as a giggly girlfriend moment than because I gave a crap what size they were - and I couldn't even remember their sizes afterwards. Because it didn't really matter. It was just a fun thing to do, and nothing about those numbers stuck in my mind.


    Message being don't complain about being small if we haven't commented on it yet. You might just be drawing our attention to something we would never have noticed otherwise.
     
  7. D_Sir Winston Choadhill

    D_Sir Winston Choadhill Account Disabled

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    This another interesting thread - I kinda guessed that in terms of sensation the large penis doesn't offer that much more than the average unless its well and truly at an extreme end of the scale.

    Some men are obsessed by penis size due to the fact that is another way of measuring, not the size of their dick, but rather how much better they can feel about themselves compared to others.

    I think others are because it represents a powerful symbol of male power and it allows them to reduce women to simple sexual equation - all women love big cocks, any women who says otherwise is lying. It allows them to escape the reality of engaging in complex emotional interactions with women (and being emotionally exposed and vulnerable) by reducing them to a simple sexual impulse - and one that is dictated (pun intended) only by the how "big" a man you are.

    I do think the big cock has a certain aesthetic appeal though - in many societies they are something of a fetish item. It represents a pretty powerfully and overtly sexual impulse - and many women are certainly not disinterested in looking at it. I think for the vast majority of women that where it ends though - it won't make or break a relationship and it won't change the worth of a man in her eyes. For the select few it may but for the great majority its not much more than a curiosity.

    That said I'm pretty fond of my cock for any number of reasons - it's not especially big although according to most of what I read here its a nice size and I have no concerns about it. I tend to like it because a) it provides me with lots of pleasure and b) those women I have been with have enjoyed it -mostly as the focal point of the entire broad sexual experience rather than the single dominant factor.

    To hear women here saying that the actual sensation is not so different for different sizes isn't surprising. This is the same for men once the moment is moving along it's pretty hard to tell one vagina from another - however its impossible to mistake one woman from another -the way she breathes, the look in her eyes, the pressure she presses against you with, the varying intensity of her movements, the different words she utters, the subtle smell of her sweat and her sex, the feel of her skin and the silent sense of oneness you experience - these are all very different depending on the woman your are with and that is what makes sex special.

    Anyway that's my 2 cents - it's only my opinion so please feel free to comment :rolleyes:
     
  8. petergroot

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    What I have come to realize is that most, if not all , women do not give a rat's ass about the size of my cock. It concerns me far more than it ever will, and ever did, my current and past sex partners. Size is a male thing: we use it to impress other males. I imagine women would notice if you had a micropenis or a 17"schlong, but on the hole[hehe] a dick is a dick. as long as it gets hard when required and the owner has a vague idea of what to do with it things will carry on.
    BJBook above sums it up very well. Cocks and pussies are very much interchangable, people are unique
     
  9. AlteredEgo

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    Though I do not have a preference for size at all, it is something I do notice. It's not a particularly important detail, but just another descriptor I can name for most of my past lovers, just as I remember their full names, eye and hair color, date of birth, etc.
     
  10. ManlyBanisters

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    I don't agree with "well and truly at an extreme end of the scale". I'm talking about (roughly) above 6.5" and below 5" when I'm talking big and small. All bar two partners back then must have been between those sizes and of average girth.

    There is a difference in sensation between an average penis and a large penis, my current partner is both girthy and long and it does provide a different sensation from a cock of average length and girth, as does his curve and the shape of his cock head. What is best though, about sex with Hick, is the way he fucks me, which I believe would not change significantly if his penis were not as large.

    I don't think any of the women here are saying that the larger penis doesn't feel different, we're saying that, unless the cock is above or below average most of us don't notice if it is upper end of average, lower end, whatever.

    And to subgirrl - yes "don't complain about being small if we haven't commented on it yet. You might just be drawing our attention to something we would never have noticed otherwise" is exactly the moral of that story. :yup:
     
  11. D_Sir Winston Choadhill

    D_Sir Winston Choadhill Account Disabled

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    Interesting - 5 - 6.5 is really quite a small degree of variation... so I might be wrong there in assuming it doesn't make that much of a difference... - if I may ask in what way does it feel different? For a man during sex the strongest sensation you get is that of warmth and a sort of wet slipperiness. After you enter you can often feel the inside of the vagina quite acutely but with only one or two thrusts that quickly goes and instead you sort of lose the feeling of where you cock starts and finishes and instead you just become lost in a sensation of sort warm electric pulsing... i think the head is what you feel the most and you can actually in the right position sometimes reach the end (an end) of the vagina which is a different sensation but for the most part it becomes hard to feel anything specific - the intensity comes from a sort of building pressure i guess - the speed of the movement is really the key i guess... I had assumed that women might have a similar sort of feeling of general warmth but if im wrong please let me know...
     
  12. ManlyBanisters

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    I'm not being funny here - but go get a small, thin carrot, a medium carrot and a big fat carrot. Shove them up your arse in turn. Report back with your observations.
     
  13. HiddenLacey

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    When I first joined this site I took a guess at what size I thought my partners have been. I know they were close in range, I couldn't tell you if one was bigger or smaller, just that they were similiar in size. Since then I have somewhat measured the partner I had and found that my estimate was off.

    So, I agree with the other ladies unless someone is really, really big or really, really small, I'm just not going to notice.
     
  14. D_Sir Winston Choadhill

    D_Sir Winston Choadhill Account Disabled

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    It just interests me that there is much of a level of sensitivity - i wasn't suggesting otherwise i was just interested :smile:
     
  15. basincreek

    basincreek New Member

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    That's perhaps the best description I've read of what it might feel like.

    As for the carrot suggestion....I've had to have a couple of prostate exams and I appreciated getting it from a thin fingered female doctor over the fat fingered male doctor.
     
  16. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    I loved this part of your post! Especially the oneness part. You don't often see men admitting to liking the more sensual parts of sex, but those are the things that women are almost certainly noticing.


    This is interesting. Do you remember specific sizes, or is it in more general terms?


    I'm not sure the 'well and truly' stands for me either. I tend to notice if they're above seven inches. I'm not sure at the other end of the scale, but as there's only there's only one person in my 'small' category, I'm guessing it was under 4 (only a guess though, it could have been bigger).


    Agreed. There is a definite difference between average and large. For one thing, they stimulate different parts of the vagina in different ways.


    I've said the same thing before about my FB. He IS at the extreme end of the scale, which I like, but it's not that that makes him the best partner I've ever had.

    Exactly.


    In SOOO many ways it feels different! We (or I) do get a general sense of warmth. But we get many other feelings on top of that.

    I once said to RawDog that I have 1000 places that like different kinds of stimulation. Whilst that might be a bit of an exaggeration, I DO have many different places. And different sized guys hit the different places in different ways.

    For instance, guys seven inches and over can hit my deep spots. Smaller guys can't touch them at all.

    I have another orgasmic spot about 5.5 -6 inches in on the back wall (only discovered fairly recently - maybe in the last few years). Guys smaller than that wouldn't be able to reach it at all, and of those who can, size effects the feeling because different parts of their cock are going to be stroking it at different times in their movement. With smaller guys (or toys) within the 5.5 - 6 range, it has a similar effect to RawDog's concept of nudgefucking. They get into the right place and the head keeps poking at it because it's exactly the right length. With guys (or toys) longer than that, the spot is stimulated as I push against his shaft. It also gets stimulated as they scrape past on their way in and out.

    I have another sensitive spot on the back wall, right near the entrance. Anyone can hit this spot, but again, the sensation will be different depending on size (although this time it is more girth related).

    Will that do for starters? :tongue:


    I'm not going to ask how your guess compared to the reality, but you have my curiosity up!
     
  17. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    ROFL :biggrin1:
     
  18. Enid

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    I didn't notice male partner sizes in my 20s. Thinking back, they would have all been in the average range (around 5 inches, maybe a touch more). (Going off visual memory of relative body part size at the time as compared to each cock.)

    I started noticing in my 30s, and using known dimensions of certain body parts I know the measurements of both the male partners I have had. I haven't written it down or anything, it's not that hard to remember 2 people accurately though.

    I too always wonder about the folks who've encountered so much big cock. Only one of my 30s partners (1 out of 2) exceeds average size. I'm sure what I've encountered is in keeping with statistics so it's odd to hear about a person having say 5 8"+ cocks in a row. It gives me pause anyway.
     
    #18 Enid, Oct 26, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2010
  19. D_Sir Winston Choadhill

    D_Sir Winston Choadhill Account Disabled

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    This is actually really interesting - men don't have that level sensitivity at all so I'm guessing we might conceptualise sex in quite different terms. I actually went and had a discussion with an ex of mine after this about this idea and she said she notices and has a preference although not a strong one...

    It always interesting to learn something new :smile:
     
  20. RawDog

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    I didn't want to post on this thread (thought it rude to interject my opinion from a woman addressed to women) but I thought this deserved a response. I can certainly tell the difference when I'm rubbing the g-spot and I can tell where the cervix is (with some women) and I can tell when I pop into the CDS. Furthermore, I can tell when her orgasms happen, where the spasms are concentrated, and lastly the massive temperature difference between the introitus and her backstop. Surely, I'm not the only guy?

    I apologize in advance for this tangent.
     
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