Where I disagree is that the study really tells you anything beyond 'the guys who took this survey that said they were big also said they were confident.' I am guessing both measures were a five-level Likert Scale, not exactly the sort of thing that matches up well to the kind of variation you see in size or worse yet, confidence or attitudes.
Not even as good as a five point Likert Scale - three points for some items, and four for others.
While I agree that most research is flawed, the abstract makes this one sound particularly bad, i.e. there isn't just a flaw, but rather so many flaws that Occam's Razor takes me back to my inverted commas bit.
ROFL :biggrin1: (good ROFL BTW, not bad ROFL)
I thought the original observations in the thread where some of the most honest and thoughtful. For that reason I'd agree that the how the guy feels is usually more important than actual dimensions.
Largely agree.
Confirmation bias means once we believe we have a working narrative, we seek confirmation everywhere, even though the most helpful data is the stuff that disproves ideas. A lot of size discussions, beyond the stuff like you might say about too short cocks, is just confirmation bias. This is true about the big hands or big feet (I violate both assumptions), race (kind of me as well), confidence is more tricky, I think it is so vague as to be useless.
Agree. One person's measure of confidence will not be the same as that of others. I don't think anyone will be able to design a study to test it reliably. I think we agree that this study is full of holes. I think we differ in that you are ready to chuck the whole study out, whereas I think it's an indication of correlation, but not proof. Agree to differ? :smile:
I know I have a personal confirmation bias :biggrin1:. I figure my experiences have not been something you would expect to find randomly, so I'm looking for an answer. There might not be one. But I'm still liking the confidence hypothesis myself.
And while I know this is confirmation bias, too, I think the fact that you mention not noticing size might point to not really having expectations that are based upon some other trait.
Certainly not consciously. It's only really been since I've come to LPSG and found that my experience is unusual that I've started looking for a common thread between them.
I guess what I'm having a hard to believing is, if this guy is good in bed, "the best ever", why do you still need to fuck other people? If he can't reach the deep spots which give you your best orgasm, it seems logical that he can't possibly be your best partner in bed. Clearly those other people you need to fuck give you something the 6 incher can't, making them by default better in bed because their services are required by you, where as the 6 incher is not.
I'm sorry, I just don't know how to explain it any more clearly. I'll give it one more try, but if that doesn't do it *shrug*.
Just say in bed I need someone who:
* Can Dom me
* Likes it rough
* Pounds me hard
* Likes deep kissing
* Loves to receive blow jobs
* Has a brilliant sense of timing
* Does the 'motionless thing'
* Cares deeply about if the sex is good for me
* Pays attention to my body so he knows exactly what to do when
* Whispers sweet nothings (errr . . . fantasy material) in my ear
* Stimulates orgasmic zones near the entrance of my vagina
* Stimulates my mid spot
* Stimulates my deep spots
. . . for starters.
Just say Mr Hypothetical 6" does every single ones of those things EXCEPT stimulating my deep spots.
Mr Hypothetical Huge however, does two or three of those things. One of them happens to be hitting my deep spots.
Who do you think is going to win? (I'll give you a hint - it's Mr 6")
But see I don't see how that person would come out to 95% in the first place. If there is a certain type of orgasm I need, and my partner couldn't give it to me, they wouldn't come close to being the best out of 27 other people, no matter what other kind of sex they could give me.
I
think I pretty much answered this above. My second best partner was averagish (I tend to guesstimate him at 5.5 - 6.5, but don't REALLY know his size). He ticked most of the things on my list. Obviously not the deep spot part, but most of the other things. My FB, who would still be the best if I shrunk him down to 6", ticks ALL the things on my list (of course he wouldn't get the deep spots if he was average sized). So he would still be better than number two. And he would be better than the Mr Hypothetical Huge mentioned above.
And in my case, yes, if my partner refused to give me blowjobs, she wouldn't be #1. Which is exactly why I'm finding it so hard to believe a 6 incher could be #1 in your mind if they are unable to give you the orgasms you require.
Interesting. Could be a men/women difference? Or just individual difference?
This isn't completely a discussion about does size matter?
Was that supposed to be a question? If so, no, it wasn't supposed to be.
If it was supposed to be a statement . . . well . . . it does seem like that is what it's become.
I might seem like I'm picking on you here, but that's more so just because I'm not understanding your logic
No, it's OK. I get that part. We seem to think quite differently.
and you seem to be perpetuating this idea that according to you
Originally Posted by
subgirrl http://www.lpsg.org/images/buttons/viewpost.gif
It seems to me that many men are so obsessed with size that they don't even realise that women often don't think about it at all
when clearly you do think about it. You've put enough thought into that you know you wouldn't enter into a monogamous relationship with anyone under 7 inches no matter how good in bed they are. That seems like a quite a bit of thought to me.
Ohhhh. Now I see why you started on the does size matter track. Would have saved us both a bit of angst if you'd mentioned this at the beginning (although maybe you did and I missed it)? I can also understand why you're irritated by it.
For most of my sexual life, and pre-LPSG, I rarely thought about size at all, even in relation to my own preferences. I knew that larger guys had an added bonus in that they could reach places deep inside - in fact I loved it. But even that I didn't really think about except when I was having sex with a big guy. It truly didn't enter my mind at all outside of those times. And as far as noticing size in general was concerned, I just didn't unless they were big or tiny.
After my last relationship ended, my depression was largely resolved, and I started to let my sex drive soar again, I started to think about what I would like in future relationships. My last relationship had been a bit of a flop in the sex department, so I knew sex was ultra important to me.
Then I started seeing two of my old FBs again and ended up on LPSG. My larger FB (well both, but him especially) reminded me (not literally) how much I enjoy longer guys, and I started searching for bigger toys. Then when I joined LPSG, I couldn't ESCAPE the issue of size. It was EVERYWHERE. So my ideas about size, started to be more present and solid in my mind, rather than just being things that reared their heads during sex with bigger guys.
It appears to me that many women on this forum such as yourself continue to brush off idea about men being obsessed with their penises when it seems pretty clear with discussions like this, they have reasons to be obsessed.
Many of the women on this site DO have a preference for larger men. That is what drew a lot of us (not all) to this site. However, the take home messages from this thread should probably be:
a) That even for most of us with a preference for larger, penis size is pretty low on the list of importance. MANY things add up together to make a man good in bed. Size is just one of them, and not necessarily an important one.
b) If you (everyone you, not you specifically) are in the average range, we (most of us anyway) will not stop to think about your size. We won't think, 'Gee, I wonder if he is 5" or 5" ' We won't even think 'I wonder if he is 4.5" or 6" '. So stop worrying about those tiny differences. If you are huge, we might think 'I wonder how big he is'. The same if you are tiny. But if you are average, we aren't thinking about it. We are just enjoying having sex with you.
And a general observation, not from this thread:
c) Every woman is different. Just because I like deep spot orgasms and you need to be 7" to give them to me, does not mean ALL women need 7" for their deep spots, OR that they even give a fuck about deep spots.
And one more for the road:
d) Women on LPSG think about size A LOT more than average women do. We spend our free time on a forum where people discuss cock size all bloody day - of course we are going to think about size more often than average. And we STILL don't think about small differences in penis size when we are having sex.
Edit:
Wow! I think this must be the longest post in the history of LPSG! Do I a get an award? :biggrin1:
, and knowing he'll push my limits.
