Size does matter with my girlfriend

[jjsuperbird]

I'm working on a sequel. Hopefully I can post some of it by the end of the Easter weekend.

Our young horny heroine, Jennifer, has experienced a wild night of hot sex with the biggest member of the rowing team, Brett. If she ever wondered whether she should give her first boyfriend, Allan, another chance, the night of hot sex with Brett has cured her.

After spending her whole first term at college with pencil-dick Allan, one night with Brett has turned Jennifer into a size queen.

I need to figure out where to take the story next.

If there is some particular type of sex scene you fantasize about or physical descriptions -- male or female -- which make you cum I could try to develop it in the next plot twist...

I'm thinking of bringing Mike back into the scene but need to figure out how... Maybe they all go to a rowing competition at Rebecca's college up north.

Any special requests? Private messages or public posts are both welcome.

Cheers
JJ

 

[nakno]

please more of comparison, cuckold or humiliation and this stuff with a man with smaller cock

 

[jjsuperbird]

Jennifer’s walk back to campus was slow and quiet. It was a sunny January morning. While her pussy still felt warm and squishy from the pounding of Brett’s big sperm cannon, she could see her breath in the cold dry morning air.

After a night of hot sex, Jennifer Perkins was alone with her thoughts. A bit sore from all the sexual gymnastics, Jennifer felt good. She felt like she had just run a marathon – a sexual marathon – and won the gold medal.

She tried to count how many times she had cum with Brett the huge muscular rower – six? Ten? Maybe a dozen. It was amazing.

This one amazing night with Brett didn’t compare with anything in her whole first term with Allan, her pencil-dick boyfriend.

Jennifer started to understand what her girlfriend Rebecca told her at Christmas.

“Play the field!” commanded her dark haired girlfriend. “There are plenty of fish in the sea.”

Last night Jenn caught a big one – a trophy.

Allan, the math genius, only made her cum once, maybe twice, when they made love. Even then he could only do it with his tongue; his little penis didn’t come close to the places Brett had reached.

Jennifer had never cum with a man inside her before. She had never cum while giving a blow job before. Last night, it was as though a door to a whole new world had opened.

The morning sun was warm on her face. As she slowly walked back to her room she wanted to remember the thrill of the night before. She tried to think back over the best parts of the marathon of sex.

The first time was in the stairwell of Allan’s dorm at the party. She loved the feel of Brett’s broad hairy chest. The fur on his big pectorals gave her shivers. It was nothing like Allan’s skinny naked chest.

She buried her face in Brett’s hairy chest and couldn’t resist. She started licking the red hairs on his powerful pecs. The muscles flexed on his chest as she nuzzled and sucked his nipple. Brett was getting more insistant as they explored each other. She could feel his manhood growing in his pants.

While she explored Brett’s powerful body and growing member, his big hands travelled over her taught little butt. She felt him pull her toward him. His forearm felt as big as one of Allan’s legs as he reached around her hips and butt.

Jennifer rubbed her fingers up and down his growing shaft and tried to grab the thick hose through the straining cotton material of his briefs. She played with it as it continued to expand and gorge with blood. It felt hot in her dainty little hands.

Allan’s penis never felt like that. She could make him instantly hard but it was a short four inches of stubby. It didn’t expand and swell in her hand. It wasn’t heavy and warm like Brett.

As she pulled Brett’s manhood out of his pants, the big red fleshy mushroom frightened her; the huge uncircumcised head pushed out from the velvety sheath. It was huge – at least three times as big as Allan’s little dick head.

She had never seen an uncircumcised penis before. A jolt of adrenaline rushed through her petite body. She became instantly wet. She shivered in anticipation.

As she was licking the pre-cum off the giant mushroom head she felt Brett’s powerful hands kneed and massage her ass. His fingers worked his way up to her hot pussy. He poked and pulled until he tore a hole in her pantyhose.

“That was wild” she said out loud as she walked alone back to her residence. Lost in he own world, Jennifer continued to recall that first time in the stairwell.

Brett’s hands roamed all over her body as she held on to his massive dick. She licked and sucked it as much as she could. It was the biggest cock she had ever seen.

Feeling its size and heat for the first time, she suddenly felt soft warm contractions in her pussy. She actually came just playing with his dick!

When Brett finally entered her love canal with his thick powerful shaft it pushed her into another world; an intense body shuddering cum to the tips of her toes.

She recalled someone opened the door to the stairs, but she was too far gone to care. She could hear the noise of the party but was concentrating on hanging on. The powerful pistons of Brett’s thighs thrust harder and harder.

He was on the edge of cumming, as was she. They fucked fast and hard in the stairwell. He was like a locomotive. His big thighs pumping and pounding like a powerful train.

She held on tight as Brett pounded. It felt like she was taking his shaft right up to her neck.

As the light and noise from the hallway streamed into the stairwell she didn’t care who saw her. She was in rapture. Every muscle and bone in her body was shaking.

The vibrations through her body felt like a heavy cast iron bell being rung. Brett’s shaft with the giant mushroom head was the clapper and her petit little body was the bell. Quivering and quaking she came like she had never cum before.

The sex was incredible. Nothing like any experience she had ever had with Allan.

Jenn couldn’t imagine how much the muscular red-head Viking had satisfied her; his thick two-fisted love muscle, broad powerful hairy chest and arms – they were to die for. Brett was a mountain of a man. Compared to Allan her pencil-dick math geek boyfriend, Brett was a sex god.

That was just ten hours ago she thought… she had cum at eight more times in Brett’s bedroom after they left the party. She experiencing his man-meat in every physical position imaginable.

It was a marathon of sex that she didn’t want to forget.

She never felt so filled up or as drained as she felt right now. Her pussy was still wet and slimy. Jennifer had never had such a wild and vigorous physical experience like that. It was hot and sweaty and glorious. She needed a long hot bath.

Jennifer had never felt that way with Allan. She rarely broke a sweat and never had a toe curling cum with his little penis in her pussy.

If she wondered whether she should give Allan a second chance, last night cured her.

Brett’s big thick cock had pushed up into the middle of her petite body. He reached places she didn’t know a man could reach. His big red knob was like a velvet fist; it was more than twice the size of Allan’s little prick.

Jennifer skipped a little as she turned up the path to her dorm. She felt liberated and satisfied.

She was looking forward to a long soaking in a hot bath then a couple hours sleep. She was beginning her second term at college with a new outlook on life.

 

[AGli19]

She needs to break up with al and she needs to be brutally honest with his short comings

 

[Pepijn]

very hot again!

 

[Big Del]

Yes - size does matter!

 

[deleted569501]

bump, more mike though

 

[LilJock]

I've really enjoyed the story so far. You've got a good way of telling a story and creating characters. However, there are a couple things you might wanna work on.

Jennifer was Allan’s first serious girlfriend in college and she ruined him. Allan blamed Jennifer for his size envy.

You start off with Jennifer and Alan. In fact, by the construction of the first sentence, you'd think the main character might even be Alan. But, after awhile, you center the story around Jennifer, not about Alan, or Alan and Jennifer. I kept expecting to see him show up again, but he vanished completely. I'm still wondering what happened to him. Did he get another girlfriend? Did he learn to think beyond sex? Did he and Jennifer get back together? Did he get over his size envy? *

Your opening sentences and paragraphs set up the readers' expectations. If your story's gonna be about Jennifer, let your readers know by starting off with something like "Alan was Jennifer's first serious boyfriend. She. . . " or, even better, "Jennifer's first serious boyfriend was Alan. She. . ."

This illustrates why you might wanna have a rough plot outline before you start writing. It doesn't have to be detailed, and can allow for some adjustment, but it gives you a structure to work off of, and avoids stuff that confuse the reader. **

Secondly, remember that this is a short story, not a novel or even a novella. Usually it's better to keep things simple in a short story. You started off talking about Alan and Jennifer, then about her girlfriend's affairs and her boyfriends, then got back to Jennifer and her big-cocked boyfriend, Brett. (I think a Mike put in an appearance, also.) Her girlfriend's affairs didn't really tell us anything about Jennifer (or Alan) or contribute to the development of the story. It just took us on a side excursion. Maybe okay in a longer work, but confusing in a short story where every word and action counts.

But these are things which can be easily corrected with the help of brief outline. You've got the other ingredients right.

Of course, they say those who can write, write; those who can't, criticize.



* You kinda did that in your last installment, by saying Alan's small penis didn't do the job like Brett's big one, but it was a little too little and too late. (Hehe) In fiction, it's better to show something through action (concrete) than through description (abstract). Or, in dramatic terms, on-stage vs off-stage. Bring Alan back into the story somehow and let us see the big cock/small cock dilemma play out in real time. That creates dramatic conflict and tension. And might help resolve the conflict and bring the story to conclusion.

** In a short story, it also helps to write down a simple statement of what the story's about (the theme). At first glance, you'd think your theme was "How Alan gets over his size envy and finds true love." If, instead, you'd come up with one like "How Jennifer learns she likes big cocks over small ones", you might have kept things on track better. If that's what you were trying to say.

 

[jjsuperbird]

Hey Liljock:

Thanks for the feedback...

I realize you posted it back in December 2014 but I only saw it this morning (March 2015)... The thing I like best about LPSG is the feedback and advice I get from readers so I appreciate you taking the time to be thoughtful and constructive.

I haven't been on LPSG too much recently but did get a private message from someone asking about updates to the Security Guard series I started several years ago. http://www.lpsg.com/121202-the-muscular-security-guard.html

Maybe I will find some inspiration for a new plot twist or some additional character development for either that series or this "Size Matters" series.

Again, your advice and feedback is helpful.

Cheers
JJ

 

[millionman]

JJ, Did you ever complete the sequel to this story, or was that the final posted material herein? I always enjoy your writing, and hope that you can find some inspiration in the near future and post some new material here very soon.

 

[amazzzed2]

GREAT STORY!!! I would love to hear Jennifer admit to Allan that his dick is too small, and that's why she is having sex with Brett.
I get so turned on by hearing my wife talk about how much better the sex was with her huge cocked ex!!

 

[deleted161054]

Bump. :]`

 

[amazzzed2]

I'd still love to read more about how Alan felt when he saw that huge cock taking "his" girl, and about him constantly thinking about the huge cock. Also a conversation with his girlfriend, who describes the sex with the hung guy in detail!!

 

[paskharen]

bump

 

[long legs]

Thanks for a well written sexy story and telling us the big guy is uncut. Like to read more details about Allan's penis.

 

[jjsuperbird]

Wow... I wrote the last installment of this story five years ago... I have changed jobs twice and moved cities twice since I last wrote any erotic fiction...

It is great to get feedback from LPSG members. Thanks for the compliments.

I am now in a very busy job and, now that I'm approaching the end of my fifth decade in this planet, I must confess that my libido is not what it used to be...

The erotic writing, like many other things, seems to take a bit more stimulation than it used to ... Nevertheless, because people have been so kind to keep reading I guess I will try to get back to more writing.

 

[millionman]

JJ, You are one of my favorite authors here at LPSG and across the internet, generally. Anything you feel like sharing is always welcome and I'm very pleased that you're going to continue writing here.