Size Queen Bumper Stickers

[Kevbo]

A few months back there was a thread about how a size queen could advertise that she was a size queen without being too in-the-face about it. Some folks suggested various t-shirt logos, but they can be problematic since t-shirts are "quick hits", but anything that can be understood quickly may be offensive in many public places. For some reason, the other day I started pondering size queen bumper stickers. The thing about bumper stickers is that they can be risque, but you have to be a bit more abstract or "clever" about it -- people have time to "get it" when they're behind you in traffic. Here are some size queen bumper sticker mottos I thought up; please forgive the all-caps:

LOOKING FOR A MAN WHO WILL LOVE ME... DEEPLY

MY LITTLE MAN IN A BOAT WANTS TO MEET YOUR SUPERTANKER

THE GAME OF LOVE FOR ME IS A GAME OF INCHES

KIELBASA-HIDING SPECIALIST ABOARD

IF YOU'VE GOT A REAL PICKLE, I'M A DAMSEL-IN-DISTRESS

IVORY TOWER, EBONY TOWER... WHO CARES AS LONG AS IT'S A TOWER?

TEACHER LOOKING FOR AN HONOR STUDENT WITH AN 8.0 GPA


Please add any inspirations you come up with. Who knows, maybe this can become an official LPSG product or somesuch.

Kev

 

[TinyPrincess]

Are you quite sure there's a market for this?

 

[Kevbo]

Are you quite sure there's a market for this?

No -- it's meant for fun. Given the initial response, it's not a grabber.

Kev

 

[whatireallywant]

Good ones!

I saw an actual bumper sticker in a sex shop once that said:

GAVE UP ON MR. RIGHT: NOW LOOKING FOR MR. HUNG

 

[Phil Ayesho]

I have seen both bumper stickers and Tshirts that simply say:
GIRTH

I love to see an attractive woman wearing them...

How about:

"Whopper Wrangler"

9" nut
needs matching screw

or my favorite

Torpedo Tube

 

[Notthe7]

I'm going to make a shirt that says
Hit on me if you're hung.
haha

but seriously i would fucking love to have a bumper sticker that said something about wanting a hung dude.
I'd do it in an instance.

why?

fucking why not?

I'm sick of reading about the war, gays, and most of all
YOUR HONOR STUDENT

 

[D_Neeson Niceone]

"My cock is bigger than your honor student."

I've seen a girl wearing a shirt with "Must be this <diagram> long to ride". She was hot too .

 

[klemptomanes]

Bumper stickers arent huge over here in good ol' Europe - but hey, at least the slogans made me smirk.

Then again, kinda think on a shirt I would prolly consider it a bit of a turn-off. Sth. about it not being very (?) subtle / classy.

Sure some people will disagree - thinking straight forward is the way to go.

anyways,
klm.

 

[D_Neeson Niceone]

Normally I'd agree with you but it wasn't a classy place, heh.

 

[No_Strings]

Excuse my tangent, but I had to google 'honor student' as it's not something I've ever come across.

Wikipedia claims it's a title for students who have an average grade of B or higher? That's pretty hilarious, for more than one reason.


As you were.

 

[Lng_1]

how about "GOT 8.5?" IT DOES A BODY GOOD.

 

[BigA11x7]

My favorite one (Which I'll get when they come out in Bumper Magnet style, cause I hate how stickers are so permanent)

I'm hung like Einstein
and smart as a horse!

Not exactly supporting the Size Queen theme, but I laughed when I saw it!

 

[HamYai]

What single, predatory, lady in her right mind would risk alienating 90 percent of her potentials by declaring that?

It'd be like a guy wearing a badge saying only girls with Double-D minimum breats need apply and thereby pissing off all the christina Aguilara/Jessica Alba lookalikes.

It would be far better to have a sticker saying "I have a vacancy that requires filling. males only need apply". She can always kick them out of bed or climb out the bathroom window and make good her escape later if she can't be bothered to go through with it after seeing the whole package.

Just a thought.

Any port in a storm is the phrase that springs to mind.

 

[Channelwood]

What about this bumper sticker?

The top 2&#37; isn't only Mensa
LPSG.org

 

[Channelwood]

Or, for Notthe7, the following t-shirt

 

[ActionBuddy]

What about this bumper sticker?

The top 2% isn't only Mensa
LPSG.org

I want that bumper sticker, Channelwood.

Way better than, "My Kid beat up your Honor Student"

 

[Channelwood]

Or the ever popular

Size Matters.
Really.
I Mean It.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

I wanted to make a shirt that would have a line on it about 8 or nine inches long...


Printed above and below the line, like at Disneyland... the words:
"you must be at least this long
__________________________
to ride this attraction"

 

[TinyPrincess]

I wanted to make a shirt that would have a line on it about 8 or nine inches long...


Printed above and below the line, like at Disneyland... the words:
"you must be at least this long
__________________________
to ride this attraction"

Neat - could be fun to wear on certain occations...

 

[D_Thoraxis_Biggulp]

I used to have a homemade shirt, parody of that horrible Pussycat Dolls song (as opposed to their good ones?), that read:

Don't You Wish Your Boyfriend Was Hung Like Me?

I got a lot of pants glances with that one on.