Size Reduction?

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by D_jamila45, May 3, 2006.

  1. D_jamila45

    D_jamila45 New Member

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    Hey everyone,

    Here to see know if anyone else has had relationship problems because your gf does find your size painful. Tried all the lube under the sun, but im sick and tired of ending relationships because sex is such a painful process for me and my gfs. Does anyone have information on reductions or been through one?
     
  2. Gisella

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    Hi AMJ and Welcome!

    :wink:
     
  3. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    How big are you first? Also how many girls have you had sex with.

    Don't expect a perfect fit your first girl, on the first few tries.

    It takes time. I don't believe there are cock reductions...definitely not lengthways because that would mean cutting off the urethra or shoving some of the penis back inside the body...

    Maybe they could deject some substance from around the penis to make it thinner...I don't know. I would keep my penis as it is. Rather than risk it being damaged beyond repair or you not being happy with irreversible results.

    It's more about getting your woman turned on than any amount of lube. If she doesn't want it to go in, it won't! So you have to reassure her...even a little bit of doubt or fear on her end can make it hard work.
     
  4. ThickAZGuy

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    My wife and I have had issues for years, mainly because of my girth. She is small by stature as well in her vaginal area. Sex was painful to the point where she rejected me almost exclusively.

    This totally put a strain on our marriage.

    To make a long story short, we went to my doctor for answers and options.

    My wife was diagnosed with vaginismus, a sort of an involuntary contrating of the vagina during insertion, making it even more difficult to penetrate her. She was prescibed Alprozolam (Xanax) to calm her to see if it would help, but it was like making love to a zombie. No fun at all.

    You might want to check if she has this too. I understand it is pretty common and can be attributed to a number of things.

    My doctor knew of my size and offered me 4 options (in private and obviously not all moral, but options nonetheless).
    1. Have an affair, but with someone who has had children (my wife was infertile and could not have). This supposedly allowed for a bit more elasticity.
    2. Leave her and find someone with less issues.
    3. Have penis reduction surgery.
    4. Have my wife's vagina enlarged.

    We opted to #4, and in January 2002, she had a procedure known as vaginoplasty. The gynocologist she was seeing at the time enlarged her vagina surgically and 6 weeks later we were able to have relatively pain free sex. This was all part of another procedure she had, so insurance covered the expense. It would have been fairly expensive as this is solely elective surgery - even though it did save our marriage.

    There are options out there for whatever ails you!! Total cliche, I know, but true.

    Be patient and talk through things with her. Talk to your doctor ad have her talk to her gynocologist too. Don't get frustrated like I did, and blame her for things which she had very little control over!

    Good luck in solving your issues.
     
  5. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    Is there actually such a thing? How would that proceed?
     
  6. ThickAZGuy

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    he never explained - he was either being facetious or there is something out there - needless to say - I didnt consider that option. maybe its a thinning thing rather than a shortening procedure
     
  7. Riven650

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    Vaginismus?
    When I was in my early 20's my girlfriend and I met a very nice lesbian nurse (I'll call her S.) at a party. S obviously fancied the pants off my girl and it was mutual. We all 3 ended up in S's apartment for the night.
    The girls had very nice sex, and I enjoyed watching. We stayed in touch with S, but she had a regular girlfriend so she and my girl never got it on again. Time passed. My relationship with my girl broke up, but S and I had become good friends. We'd lunch together, and talk about our problems with girlfriends, and whatever was going on in our lives. When S moved to another hospital I didn't see her so often but we kept in touch. A year or so later S called me to say she wanted one of our chats so I invited her to my house for a meal. We talked for a long time, held hands... well you know how it goes: We ended up in bed. S said she'd had one sexual experience with a guy during her early teens but it hadn't been good. She and I stroked each other, and kissed a lot. She was fascinated by my cock, and said she was extremely envious of me (she was holding it in her hand and squeezing it to feel me squeeze back - I guess it was more responsive that any dildo she's handled). I told her that I was flatterted by her penis envy, but I really wanted to fuck her. She looked a bit surprised, then thought about it for a while and said 'come on then'. Now, you've got to appreciate that S was/is a lesbian, so I wasn't expecting her to want to, but we were very fond of one another, and she wanted to please me. She was very turned on, and her pussy was slippery, but do you know what? She just couldn't relax it to let me in. It was clenched tight, and there was nothing she could do about it. She was as dissapointed as I was. It didn't matter, we had an idea: She sat astride me and held my cock in her fist, pretending it was her own. I got her to press her clit against the base of my cock so that as she jacked off with 'her' cock she'd be rubbing her clit on it at the same time. This was very successful indeed, and within a minute or so, we came together.

    We never tried to have sex again. S got a new girlfriend, moved to the other side of the country to yet another hospital and we kind of lost touch over the years.

    Now, I'm not for a second suggesting that your wife might be a lesbian. But it is possible that your wife is suffering vaginismus in the same way that S did. My penis is perhaps only slightly larger than avearge, but we couldn't achieve penetration at all.
    Vaginismus is a reasonable response to a deep seated fear of being hurt. I think you should quit trying to penetrate your wife for the time being and do other kinds of sex. Put the fun back into your sex life by relieving her of the worry about being hurt by you. And seek some professional therapy for the two of you, so that you can work together on a programme of sex therapy. It's enormous fun and very interesting.

    You might have a very much bigger penis than me (you still haven't said what size it is) but it shouldn't be a problem, and you should forget about ideas of making it smaller. That can't be done without making it almost non-functional. Be patient.

    The vagina is very stretchy. It has to be, or women wouldn't be able to have babies. Any woman can get used to a big cock, but it won't happen unless she WANTS it to and she might have to work at it. Where there's a will there's a way!

    Your wife needs time to explore this thing at her own speed. Don't attempt intercourse until she invites you. And she'll need to stay in control of how much goes in, how hard and how fast. She can stay in control by sitting on top of you, or (if you're cock is long enough) you could sit on the bed facing each other so that she can take your cock in her hand and rub her clit with it, make herself feel good, if it's working for her, she might have an orgasm like that (you are being patient, right?) or you might finish each other off by tongue or hand. Or maybe, just maybe, she'll feel like putting a few inches of your cock inside herself. Let her take her time. If you can be patient and caring it will work. Just don't expect to fuck her, yet. Remember, she's scared of being hurt.

    When (and if) your wife WANTS to be fucked by you, she'll need the right kind of help from you. She might also need sex therapy, and it will take time. If you're really big, she'll need to learn to relax and let her vagina stretch. She's got to be relaxed in mind and body or it won't happen.

    My cock is 'only' 6"x5" but when I was young and over enthusiastic, I made a few girls wince by sticking it in too quickly. My wife gave birth to our son naturally, so she's not tight, but I still have to go easy for the first few minutes of sex. If you are really big like some of the guys around here, you have to come to terms with that fact that very few woman will be able to get you in right up to the hilt the first time. But I think most on this forum will agree that with love, caring, and enough sexual desire on BOTH sides, the vagina in your life will gradually yeald, and you will eventually succeed in achieving full penetration.

    What do others think?
     
  8. Riven650

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    Oh, and you've also got to work on finding out what she's turned on by and keep that stuff centre stage. Fantasy and scene setting is often the best foreplay.
    Best of luck
     
  9. ThickAZGuy

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    Thanks for the reply Riven650. After 13 years together, we've tried anything and everything possible to ease the issues. You kinda hit it on the nail when you mentioned trauma earlier on. She went through some enormous trauma a few years before i met her. That doesn't make it any easier for us though.

    Countless hours of counseling together and singly, both with psychiatrists, family doctors, gynocologists, marriage counselors and certified sex therapists have accounted for volumes on who the two of us are as a couple. Extended foreplay, instruction and courses on dealing with our conditions and how to reduce the implications of her history. Prescribed vaginal dilators in various sizes, personal sex toys for both of us, multiple lubes, personal exams, physicals, books on technique, prescribed congugated estrogens, progesterone shots, blood tests, xanax prescriptions, mood lighting, soft music, extended weekends at spas and hot vapor pools, smiles, hugs, kisses, talking, and understanding.

    Wonder if I might have missed much???

    My original post was simply intended to give the poor guy some advice on someone who has had similar issues, and not necessarily a request for personal advice for us. I've dealt with and come to terms with that already...

    But thanks nonetheless for your advice.

    Now back to helping the original post.
     
  10. ThickAZGuy

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  11. Riven650

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    Sorry everybody,
    I do apologise for my confused and confusing reply ThickAZGuy: I was addressing my reply to amj45ali as he was talking about size reduction without saying if he'd tried other therapies first. But I can see now that I confused his post with yours when I started referring to amj45ali's partner as 'your wife' when he only mentioned girlfriends.

    I'm sorry guys. If amj45ali can extract any useful ideas from my post then I might have done as much good as harm. And ThickAZGuy: That was a 'teach your grandmother' moment, wasn't it. :redface: Thank you for being so restrained in your reaction to my buffoonary.
    All the best
    Riven650

    I agree: Back to helping the original post. How are we doing so far amj45ali? (I'm braced for a chorus of 'teach your grandmother'.)
     
  12. ThickAZGuy

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    Riven650 -

    I sincerely thank you for your heartfelt apology.
     
  13. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    WARNING: you may feel the need to squirm a little while reading this post. :rolleyes:

    I hope he was being facetious. While several phalloplastic surgeons have stated that removal of a central section of the penis may be a workable possibility (in the sense of essentially performing reattachment surgery à la Bobbitt after taking out a section of length), there is no published evidence that anyone has ever actually attempted this. Recorded examples of penis reduction relate exclusively to emergency-room scenarios following extreme injury and have generally involved amputation of the complete penile head; this is obviously not a solution to the kinds of issue under discussion here.
     
  14. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

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    All I have to add to this mess is that there are many um...experienced...aw, fuck it...big holes out there.
     
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