size references in literature

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Imported, Mar 18, 2004.

  1. Imported

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    Steve26: Hey, folks -- I thought this topic has been raised before, but I can't find it in searching so I thought I'd take a stab at a (gasp!) new topic!

    Have you noticed any size references in novels or other "serious" books? I just finished Hemingway's "A Movable Feast," which describes the author's years in Paris as a young man in the 1920s. One of Hemingway's expatriate friends was F. Scott Fitzgerald of "Great Gatsby" fame.

    Hemingway and Fitzgerald are chatting in a bar and Fitzgerald says he has a very serious concern:

    "Zelda [Fitzgerald's unstable wife] said that the way I was built I could never make any woman happy ... She said it was a matter of measurements ... I have never felt the same since she said that and I have to know truly."

    Hemingway tries to convince his insecure friend that he's perfectly fine, and that Zelda was most likely playing a trick to scare him away from other women. "To put you out of the business," Hemingway says. "That's the oldest way in the world of putting people out of business."

    Eventually Hemingway proposes a visit to the Louvre so Fitzgerald can compare his own size with that of the statues and paintings of male nudes. At the Louvre, the two authors get into what's basically a "showers" vs. "growers" discussion:

    Hemingway: "It is not basically a question of the size in repose ... It is the size that it becomes. It is also a question of angle."

    (As I read, I'm thinking to myself ... this is LPSG's great-great-granddaddy from the 1920s!)

    So ... have any of you come across such unexpected size references in "Serious Literature"??

    Steve ;-)
     
  2. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    I'm going to assume that one of Shakespeare's better known tragedies qualifies as 'serious literature':

    Antony and Cleopatra
    (Act I, ii)

    Iras: Am I not an inch
    of fortune better than she?

    Charmian: Well, if you were but an inch of fortune better than I, where would you choose it?

    Iras: Not in my husband's nose.

    Subtle? Obvious enough for even the lowly groundlings of Jacobean England to catch.
     
  3. Imported

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    Steve26: One of Kurt Vonnegut's books, I believe "Breakfast of Champions," is a virtual encyclopedia on penis size -- Vonnegut (no doubt with tongue in cheek) provides the dimensions of just about every male character. The protagonist, Dwayne, is described as having an unusually large penis (if I recall correctly, around 8") but not knowing it because of his limited sexual experience.

    Steve
     
  4. Imported

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    dable_wi: God, I wish I could remember the name of this book. I think it is something like, "The Killing Time." It is not "A Time To Kill" by John Grisham. In the book, a lawyer moves back to his hometown of Natchez, MS, from Houston after his wife passes away. Anyhoo, he digs up some old civil rights era murder that involes an ex-girlfriend who had been foolin around with the guy her "politically-connected" father had hired to watch out for her. Before this lawyer begins to unravel the murder, his father, who is the town doctor, mentions the size of the penis on the bodyguard guy...."the largest I had ever seen on a white man."

    Later on, the lawyer has to make a deal with the now-much-older bodyguard and they drop trou- to make sure that neither is armed during their meeting. Needless to say, the doctor was right. The bodyguard, as I recall, turns out to be the world's biggest creep and a party to the murder in the 60's.

    Strangely enough, I happened to be reading this book on an airplane. I was seated next to a woman who was, get this, the Park Director of the national park which has been erected (for lack of a better word) on a Civil War battle site near Natchez, MS. I think it is the Battle of Shiloh (but I am not sure). She bored me to tears with a bunch of shit about the battle and the city of Natchez.

    She never met the bodyguard ;)
     
  5. jonb

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    Ezekiel 16:26 and 23:20 (Say, anyone here got any Egyptian in them?) The Egyptians themselves said that Min began the world by masturbating.

    Oh, there's a pun in Gulliver's Travels: "As my Master Bates used to say . . ."
     
  6. GottaBigOne

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    i always suspected the Bible was just as lewd as most of the magazines these religious nuts are always trying to get rid of.
     
  7. Imported

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    Marraskuu: [quote author=jonb link=board=meetgreet;num=1079617315;start=0#4 date=03/19/04 at 21:10:47]Ezekiel 16:26 and 23:20 (Say, anyone here got any Egyptian in them?) [/quote]
    Egyptian now isn't the same as Egyptian then anyway...people intermarry and move places...it happens with everyone.
     
  8. Imported

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    Donk: [quote author=jonb link=board=meetgreet;num=1079617315;start=0#4 date=03/19/04 at 21:10:47]Ezekiel 16:26 and 23:20 [/quote]

    Ezekiel 23:20 may well be the earliest literary reference to "donkey dicks."

    The New International Version's translation perhaps expresses it most clearly: "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses." Though I have a fondness for the Revised Standard Version's phrasing: "whose members were like those of asses."

    Here endeth the lesson.
     
  9. Imported

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    alysen6: That's awesome. 8)
     
  10. Imported

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    Thumper_10x7_CA: What an interesting topic! This may be another way to get people to read again. It sure beats ( ;) ) Harry Potter! :D
     
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