"size talk"... with winzling7

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by absinthium, May 16, 2005.

  1. absinthium

    absinthium New Member

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    So I haven't been on this site much. It seems like the second I entered the pearly, penis-encrusted gates of LPSG [SEE ALSO: The legendary VHS cover of The Little Mermaid with phallices filling in as turrets on the castle] I was being aggravated by scores of lecherous dolts who didn't know me from atom, yet were highly interested in receiving some kind of sexual reciprocation from me. Charming. Really. But come back to me when you can punctuate like a human being...

    ...ANYHOW, in the interest of hopefully humiliating one of these retards (and I use the term with as much respect as I can muster... AKA eat me, this is my show now) into perhaps thinking twice before contacting someone out of the blue and bringing them to the verge of reversing the wave of peristalsis, I will now post a delightful little invitation I just received from a member of this fine club named winzling7.

    Hold onto your hats, this is especially stupid...

    just a little story for and would be nice, to hear your opinion about it, because i think you are in a same situation like my ex gf (new very hung lover)...one day I was talking to my ex girlfriend on the phone and she started talking about her current relationship and she started telling me more than she probably should have. When she told me that the sex was really good, i asked why it was so good and she told him that her boyfriend and her fit together really well. i asked what that meant and she said, "He's dick is really thick and it's nice and long, too. He fills me up better than you ever did..." Then she said with a little mischief in her voice: "You're not going to like hearing this, but he can't fit into xxxl condoms." my breathing got heavier and i said i couldn't believe it because i thought condoms were supposed to be one size fits all. "I've tried to put these 10 inch on him myself but they just won't stretch over his cock. It made me realize how huge he really is. I couldn't even get the condom over his big head. It was fun trying and really turned me on because most guys can put them on with room to spare." i said, "Wow, he is really lucky to be so huge. I'm jealous. I guess you are pretty lucky, too. How BIG is he exactly?" "I've never measured him, but he has to be about 4times bigger than you..." " i just said h my god! ...i was jerking me off all the time, while she was talking about her new lover.
    later she told me that it was also a kind of kick for her to talk about size with a tiny guy...
    would that also be a kick for you ???
    kisses jochen

    Wow... You're right... You know me so fucking well! OF COURSE I want to talk to you day and night about your small cock and all the other big cocks I've encountered in my lifetime... How could I possibly resist the growing urge within me to correspond thusly with a complete stranger?

    Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go delouse myself.

    Would a simple, "Hi, I ran across your profile and thought you'd be fun to talk to," or some other semblance of an introduction before plunging headlong into the perversion be too fucking much to ask? I mean seriously, if I was at all into this, which, I can't for the life of me see why I would be, I doubt I'd be hooked right away by "hEy, i gotz a tiney dick... wunna talk abot BIG dicks wif me?". Yes, I know I'm just unbearably sexy (do not fear the sarcasm) but did it ever occur to ANY of the dozens of losers who have propositioned me in a similar fashion that I might also be a human being, not entirely unlike yourselves, and I might NOT want to be viewed as you own personal fuckbot?
    Oh, you're right... It's all my fault for being a hooters-bearing-mammal on the internet. Those tits do have "Fire At Will" emblazoned across them. What was I thinking? Of course, prod away with your tiny dick. I can't wait.

    And all the rest of you socially inept little weasels... Pile in! The more the merrier!

    Thank you, winzling7. You've just made my day. Be a dear and go off and die somewhere, won't you?
     
  2. Dr Rock

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    oh delicious irony

    sometimes I wonder for a moment if I'm missing out on exciting new acquaintances because I'm a complete asshole. then I read something like this, and it reminds me of the other shit I'm missing out on for the same reason ... and I feel vindicated again.
     
  3. Dr. Bubbles

    Dr. Bubbles New Member

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    It seems like little dick has been hitting up on all the girls and sending the same stupid PM.

    Absinthium, good for you... I share your same sentiments and commend you for so descriptively conveying your message!

    Stupidity must breed ignorance thus fostering the dumbass for offspring......... need we say more???
     
  4. D_Barbi_Queue

    D_Barbi_Queue Account Disabled

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    ha ha - I have the same PM in my Blog. I still see him around periodically too.
     
  5. steve319

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    :lol: Great line there!
     
  6. madame_zora

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    Thanks for that uplifting review! Yes, of course we all enjoy to the utmost being every weasel-dick's personal sperm receptacle, isn't that really what ALL women want? I guess I've been enough of a bitch in public that I was spared this inane dribble (thanks for those lessons, Dr. Rock).

    Don't let the assholes keep you away, we need more powerful women here and baby you rawk! I miss hearing your insights every day, so write a few here for me, okay?
     
  7. BobLeeSwagger

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    The funny thing is that 90% of guys that want to talk like that to a woman STILL wouldn't actually do it for fear of embarrassment. It takes an amazing combination of stupidity and boldness to do that. It's pretty mind-boggling, really.
     
  8. KinkGuy

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    God help us if he actually has the ability to reproduce.
     
  9. steve319

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    As life is constantly reminding me, KinkGuy, all the wrong people are incredibly fertile. The world will surely be overrun by little winzlings (with little winzlers?) before we know it.
     
  10. major_7

    major_7 New Member

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    BRAVO!
     
  11. dolf250

    dolf250 New Member

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    That’s a charming PM; it almost makes me jealous of you ladies receiving such garbage. It saddens me that this fellow had not deemed me worthy to be amongst the select few chosen to receive such wisdom. Perhaps there could be a new forum where you ladies can post your PM’s so we could all be the recipients of the insight that is to be gained from reading the ramblings and fantasies of people such as this “winzling7”.

    I love your response to him- scathing, sarcastic, and yet still light enough to provide a good laugh for the rest of us. I hope it works to keep people from sending you the kind of unsolicited crap that winzling7 sent. I hope you are able to stick around and find a way to ignore the dolts that lurk amongst us.
     
  12. absinthium

    absinthium New Member

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    oh delicious irony

    sometimes I wonder for a moment if I'm missing out on exciting new acquaintances because I'm a complete asshole. then I read something like this, and it reminds me of the other shit I'm missing out on for the same reason ... and I feel vindicated again.
    [post=311773]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]

    Trust me, my good man, I envy your situation.
     
  13. absinthium

    absinthium New Member

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    Well said, Dr. B.
     
  14. absinthium

    absinthium New Member

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    Pay me.
     
  15. absinthium

    absinthium New Member

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    Yeah, aloof... What's up with that? I think it's probably akin to flasher syndrome... I think the true thrill lies in being able to embarrass someone, or at least the hope that you're capabe of it.
    I always like to turn it around on them when I suspect that's the case.
    Perhaps I should just start going with it and watching them squirm after I'VE gone on for a page about cock...
     
  16. absinthium

    absinthium New Member

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    Eww, ain't it the truth?!

    Zora, any thoughts? How many times has this come up in our conversations?!
     
  17. absinthium

    absinthium New Member

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    Thanks for the uplifting words, dolf.

    Any time I can provide a laugh at the expense of someone stupid, I'm all OVER it.
     
  18. KinkGuy

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  19. ashlar

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    Ahhhhh!!!

    I think i love you a little.

    *LOL*
    Good job.
     
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