So I haven't been on this site much. It seems like the second I entered the pearly, penis-encrusted gates of LPSG [SEE ALSO: The legendary VHS cover of The Little Mermaid with phallices filling in as turrets on the castle] I was being aggravated by scores of lecherous dolts who didn't know me from atom, yet were highly interested in receiving some kind of sexual reciprocation from me. Charming. Really. But come back to me when you can punctuate like a human being... ...ANYHOW, in the interest of hopefully humiliating one of these retards (and I use the term with as much respect as I can muster... AKA eat me, this is my show now) into perhaps thinking twice before contacting someone out of the blue and bringing them to the verge of reversing the wave of peristalsis, I will now post a delightful little invitation I just received from a member of this fine club named winzling7. Hold onto your hats, this is especially stupid... just a little story for and would be nice, to hear your opinion about it, because i think you are in a same situation like my ex gf (new very hung lover)...one day I was talking to my ex girlfriend on the phone and she started talking about her current relationship and she started telling me more than she probably should have. When she told me that the sex was really good, i asked why it was so good and she told him that her boyfriend and her fit together really well. i asked what that meant and she said, "He's dick is really thick and it's nice and long, too. He fills me up better than you ever did..." Then she said with a little mischief in her voice: "You're not going to like hearing this, but he can't fit into xxxl condoms." my breathing got heavier and i said i couldn't believe it because i thought condoms were supposed to be one size fits all. "I've tried to put these 10 inch on him myself but they just won't stretch over his cock. It made me realize how huge he really is. I couldn't even get the condom over his big head. It was fun trying and really turned me on because most guys can put them on with room to spare." i said, "Wow, he is really lucky to be so huge. I'm jealous. I guess you are pretty lucky, too. How BIG is he exactly?" "I've never measured him, but he has to be about 4times bigger than you..." " i just said h my god! ...i was jerking me off all the time, while she was talking about her new lover. later she told me that it was also a kind of kick for her to talk about size with a tiny guy... would that also be a kick for you ??? kisses jochen Wow... You're right... You know me so fucking well! OF COURSE I want to talk to you day and night about your small cock and all the other big cocks I've encountered in my lifetime... How could I possibly resist the growing urge within me to correspond thusly with a complete stranger? Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go delouse myself. Would a simple, "Hi, I ran across your profile and thought you'd be fun to talk to," or some other semblance of an introduction before plunging headlong into the perversion be too fucking much to ask? I mean seriously, if I was at all into this, which, I can't for the life of me see why I would be, I doubt I'd be hooked right away by "hEy, i gotz a tiney dick... wunna talk abot BIG dicks wif me?". Yes, I know I'm just unbearably sexy (do not fear the sarcasm) but did it ever occur to ANY of the dozens of losers who have propositioned me in a similar fashion that I might also be a human being, not entirely unlike yourselves, and I might NOT want to be viewed as you own personal fuckbot? Oh, you're right... It's all my fault for being a hooters-bearing-mammal on the internet. Those tits do have "Fire At Will" emblazoned across them. What was I thinking? Of course, prod away with your tiny dick. I can't wait. And all the rest of you socially inept little weasels... Pile in! The more the merrier! Thank you, winzling7. You've just made my day. Be a dear and go off and die somewhere, won't you?