Sorry, having been hit/abused, I don't like slapping of *any* ilk. I prefer a lot of long and tender, thorough touching, with and without pressure, which can feel really great on my clit if done right after it's a bit swollen. I don't mind grabbing, etc. as long as it doesn't approach abuse - that rough stuff makes me have bad feelings. I want to be loved and appreciated, not hurt/abused.
My feeling is that you should be clear in expressing what turns you on, arouses you more - doesn't have to be verbal, recognizable language, lol, can just be a moan, or nod, or , "more" or "yes" or a head shake if you don't like it, or pushing away the offending limb if you hurt. There are ways to communicate what pleasures you - he shouldn't have to guess what you like. We should use them all. imho.
Note: Just struck me - I had a hilarious thought - what if there were a guy out there, checking out all my posts and taking notes, figuring out how to sweep me off my feet - wow, what a dreamer! Ha!