Sleeping with a Couple who Have a Open Relationship

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by thikdikLA, Jul 24, 2007.

  1. thikdikLA

    thikdikLA New Member

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    Anybody out there ever slept with friends who have an open relationship (I mean with both of the people in the relationship)?

    This past weekend, I did just that. I had slept with one of them about a month and a half ago. This weekend, I spent much more time with the second one but the first one was there, and we did all spend time doing things....

    I'm just so confused by the weird vibes and I need to ask advice of anybody whose ever gone down this road before. How did it turn out? What did you do, if anything, to smooth things or did you just decide it wasn't worth it and chalked it up to great sex?

    Please respond either on this thread or privately, thanks.
     
  2. DC_DEEP

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    I have been on both sides of that - spending time with a couple, and being part of a couple who had others spend time with us.

    It sounds like you still have some residual training that's telling you "it's wrong" or "it's cheating" (when you ask about smoothing things.)

    None of the times I've done it was it "casual" nor was it cheating. Everyone involved was consenting. The couple with whom I spent some time are still together, and we are still friends. My partner and I have not had any problems when we have a third join us, as we have discussed this, we became a couple with the understanding that were were not exclusive, and we have ground rules. We never have anyone join us unless we both agree to it and are comfortable with it.

    So, did any of that answer your question(s)?
     
  3. Big Dreamer

    Big Dreamer New Member

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    It didn't answer why I haven't received an invite to the Dungeon of Love.
     
  4. nudeyorker

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    When I was single I saw alot of a couple both together and seperate, but we all talked and comunicated and never lied!
    Now that I'm a couple...we agreed that we would be a package deal, so far so good! Honesty and good communication are key! Don't know if any of this has helped but I'm still on good terms with all involved! In fact the couple that I have not seen in sometime want to get together with me and BF... Will keep you posted!
     
  5. thikdikLA

    thikdikLA New Member

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    Ok, so in my crazyness... I authored this email to them. Didn't send it yet, don't know if I should send it or not? Thoughts???

    Hey guys,

    Business aside, I wanted to address what happened the other night.

    I may be projecting or overthinking here but I just wanted to make sure there was no akwardness going forward… at least from my end. I thought about leaving well enough alone, but I think that I would have struggled with things myself, so if anything please hear me out.

    I know things the other night were a little uneven, and that was never my intention to make it seem like I was choosing one of you over the other one. If anything-- my judgement was pretty well fucked up, and I was not paying clear attention to what was appropriate or not in the entire scheme of things. I guess I now have learned this is the danger of fucking around with friends, especially a couple (open or not): (1) you never know what they’re thinking and (2) you’re stuck with this pile of confusing thoughts you are trying to sort out on your own.

    I did have a great time Friday night with both of you. But I think to avoid any hurt or confusion or just plain misunderstanding, I’m thinking it’s probably best we don’t sleep together again. I know I’m only speaking for myself, but my life is just really complicated right now, and having you both as friends and rodeo collagues would make me feel a lot better instead of blurring the lines.

    Like I said, this is just crazy me talking. And you wonder why I am quiet… I got a lot bouncing around in this head of mine. I’m interested to hear your thoughts, if you’d like to share. If not, that’s cool too.

    At any rate, I look forward to seeing you in a few weeks, probably at the -----

    Take care until then guys,
    ------
     
  6. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    I've actually never done this. However, I am always leery of open relationships. You have to be a REALLY openminded couple for this to work, and I dont' think a lot of couples have the ability. The friends I have had, who have partaken in this, always feel weird about it later on and couples seem to break up.

    Either way, I wish you best of luck. DC had some good advice for you to read.
     
  7. DC_DEEP

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    Now, that's just a flat-out, bald-faced LIE! You have been invited... more than once.
     
  8. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    I actually done it several times....I get hit on by alot of couples when I go to dance clubs....Usually a guy will send his girlfriend/wife over to me to flirt w/me and of course being a guy I fall for it....Then some way the guy comes over and he's really cool and compliments you on how you look then they get you drunk and invite you to party back at their hotel room/house....It can be weird because most of time I am attracted to woman and the guy is more into me....Alot of time the girl figures that out and gets pissed at the guy and me....I have to tell them "trust me - I don't want him"....It's pretty funny because some guys slip me their number when the girl is in the bathroom and want to meet when she is out of town or something....For me it is an one night thing....And because they have more to lose than I do - I have no problem seeing them in public again....I love being single....Couples are into some kinky stuff too....I use think swingers were old couples they have got bored but I get hit on by the swingers in their 20s and hot....I being to a swinger club a couple of times and was amazed how young and hot most of the patrons there were....I seen guys let their wifes blow guys while they watch and get off on that (I had lots of those requests) - I don't understand that....If I am really into a girl - I don't want a guy to touch her....My favorite line a couple used on me was when the girlfriend (who was an anorixic actress in town for a shoot) told me it was her boyfriends birthday and his fantasy was to see a hot black guy bang me....The crazy thing was when we got back to the Four Seasons they had cameras and lighting set up like a movie set and they wanted to film it which I said HELL NO and quickly tried to think of how I was going to get out of this....Luckily the chick freaked out when she relized her man was more into me than her and she must have suspected he liked guys and that is when she finally caught him and she started crying and yelling that he was going to leave her for another man....I was like obvious you guys got something you need to talk about so I am catching a cab....I thought it was hilarious when I got out of there....
     
  9. fortiesfun

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    Anytime you put that many caveats into an e-mail, it is a pretty good sign that it isn't ready to send yet.

    When it gets boiled down to something like this it will be ready to send: "I really enjoyed the sex with both of you, but have decided for personal reasons that it is not a good idea for me to do so again. Hope we're still friends, however."

    Better mean it, however, as a smart couple won't invite you back once you've made it clear you are the type who has buyer's remorse.
     
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