Sleeping with a girl without having sex...(question)

[vergax]

OP: you should not post this type of questions on the women's issues, because the best advice I will give you is to never ever ask/follow advice a woman gives about relationships and sex with other women, not even in a forum where other women are selfless trying to answer your question, is a matter or perspective.

Now, to answer, she definitely would want sex with you, so you must take charge and push for sex the next time you spend time together, she probably already made her mind about you but won'thave infinite patience for you to make your final move.

 

[SouthernGirl]

Next time you should give her some head

 

[D_Rawkesbye Deadheade]

I'd say the ball's in your court now - return the favour!

 

[dolfette]

so me and this girl have been friends for a while (not close) and recently I started flirting with her, she came over to watch a movie and stayed the night in bed with me, but i didnt have sex with her that night..... what do you (women) think if you sleep in bed with a guy all night and he doesnt try to have sex with you?

(note: i got head from her in the morning, but thats beside the point and we layed in bed talking all morning. she's coming over this weekend.)

i'd respect him for not being pushy.

take the bj as a congrats on not being just another pushy guy trying to get into her pants, because it's won her affection.

...and not all girls want head. and not all girls are ready to recieve straight away...it's a lot more intimate. just be aware of any subtle clues that she wants you to do more.

 

[helgaleena]

First:

You DID have sex. Oral is sex.

Second: Give her some oral in return before you push the intercourse, and be absolutely certain you have birth control and STD control covered. Keep things relaxed, equable and sane and this can only get better.

 

[crispy88]

personally i dont count oral as sex

and i told her to come over on a night where she doesnt work the next morning cuz we wont be getting much sleep

 

[EllieP]

Cap and I did not have sex the first time we slept together. I was just trying to find out if I was really in love with him, but I wanted him close by - so close I could touch. We cuddled and hugged and fell asleep. But I know if I would have given him and inch he would have given me ten! And there was no sex in the morning either, but a whole lot of loving.

Do not ask about the following night. A girl doesn't talk about it.

 

[Wish-4-8]

im nervous about havin sex with her, shes more experienced than me :/

OK, there are two ways to view this situation.
1. as a negative, like you mentioned above,
2. as a positive, an oppertunity.

This is where your attitude makes ALL the difference. Women like confident guys. My guess is that you are nervous because you believe that your lack of experiance will not please her. You keep thinking that way, you will be filled with performance anxiety and get nowhere.

Here is the positive. She has more experiance? GOOD. She knows what she likes. She can "teach" you by her telling you what she likes. Or better yet, show you. Assuming you are a willing, passionate student, who doesnt ask too many dumb questions, this could be more fun for the both of you.

Just be you. No matter how it comes out. You will not be her best lay right away. But if you are attentive and passionate, that is all that matters. Assuming she cares for you in that way, Ofcouse, which is what this sounds like.

Be open and honest, but not whiney. And DONT ask her if she came. She will let you know if she did. Maybe not in words, but in that "just got fucked silly", expression in her face. And if she didnt, its not the end of the world. Many women cant right off the bat, and it doesnt mean the sex was lousy.

Its the journey, not the destination with a lot of women, (not all ofcourse). So make the journey unique and fun by being yourself.

 

[B_angela]

I agree with dolfette on this one totally
most guys in the situation will at least try something, so im sure she respected that and the morning bj reflected it. as far as the next time, be respectful again and you will know if she is ready for more or if it was just a thank you
also dont rush to give it back to her, i agree in saying its more intimate and dont expect it back right away

 

[crispy88]

ive always been relaxed around women.... but i get nervous when its time to have sex with this girl lol im worried ill choke and wont be able to get it up or something when it comes time to fuck her

 

[B_jeepguy2]

Yeah I thought oral counted as sex too. Weird.

Not since the Clinton Administration.:wink:

 

[Snakebyte]

i'd respect him for not being pushy.

take the bj as a congrats on not being just another pushy guy trying to get into her pants, because it's won her affection.

...and not all girls want head. and not all girls are ready to recieve straight away...it's a lot more intimate. just be aware of any subtle clues that she wants you to do more.

Sounds plausible to me. Never thought of it that way.
I never had sex on the first two dates but very often received a bj or hj without asking for it.

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

She obviously respects the fact that you didnt try anything when you were in bed together and the head in the morning would have been a thank you for being a gentlemen and an invitation to take it further next time.

If she has agreed to come over again then she has an idea of what you expect/want. Dont push it and let her decide if she is going to let you have it yet.

Also a lot of women feel comfortable and are more relaxed with a man who will admit he is inexperienced and/or nervous. It's kind of a way of saying you arent a man whore who's only interested in fucking around. So dont be to worried about letting her know how your feeling.

 

[Iceman2215]

I didn't have sex with my now wife for a couple of night and I slept naked! Respect to you Bro. Remember "Assumption is the father of all Fuck ups" Treat her with respect and all will go well. If things get frisky then say something like "I owe you one for the other morning" and give her a full body massage.....If that doesn't get things going then nothing will!!

Good luck!!!!!!

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

This happened to me once. I had been friends with a guy for a short time, and he'd always flirted with me a bit but I never put too much thought into it. He asked me to come over one night to watch a movie, and I did. He lived in a studio apartment, so my seating options were a very uncomfortable loveseat that wasn't quite positioned properly to see the television, or his bed. We both chose his bed. The movie was ages long (Casino) and after it ended, I was exhausted (I hadn't slept in over 24 hours). He said I could go ahead and stay the night if I wanted to, so I did. He told me to just "get comfortable"... so I took off my shorts and socks and slept in my t-shirt and underwear. He stayed fully clothed. We both fell asleep like that. We never had sex, never kissed, nothing. The "vibe" I got from him though was just one of respect. He didn't want to push anything. :smile:

 

[MrGoodDate]

I have slept for 45 years with this woman most nights without sex,,, but we did our share of loving also... Three children attest to the fact we did connect at times.

 

[helgaleena]

some need sex to get to sleep, with themselves or with somebody else, and some don't. It's nice to find things like that out before things get serious.

 

[badgirl22]

I would have a hard time being in bed with someone if I didn't want to *be* with them. If I like the guy and was hoping he'd make a move I'd be crazed with lust and frustrated. Of course, if I really wanted it I'd make the first move:biggrin1:

But, on the other hand, sometimes it can be nice to just share a bed and cuddle too...all just depends. If I really like someone but they don't seem like they are ready or want to sleep with me for whatever reason, I'd just be happy to share the intimacy of being close in bed without having sex.

If you're just not sure if she wants to, watch for the clues like her pressed up against you - press back against her and just see what happens.

 

[eyescream]

Reminds me of a relationship I had quite a while back. The dude always expected me to go down on him and he didn't want to have sex as much as he wanted me to go down on him. Initially it was hot but eventually I started to realize it wasn't a two way street. I felt like he didn't enjoy having sex with me or something.

 

[B_spotted_duck]

If it was good head, I'd shut the fuck up and keep inviting her over.

That's what I'd vote for...