Oh boy, let me try to step in to this one. Mostly because I've had more than lots of experiences with this. Please keep in mind my experiences have been born of a decades as a frequent visitor to upscale nudist/clothing optional resorts and beaches all over the USA, the Caribbean, and Europe. In such settings it is very apparent what I have for all to see. And in time past some huge lifestyle parties at upscale resorts and hotels where the entire place was filled with lifestyle couples and some selectively invited singles such as myself. Again, what I am blessed/cursed with was very apparent to all.
Men are terrible gossips, and will tell everyone every thing they know and have seen. But ladies talk too, just far more discreetly. Women share. Women tell their friends, their hairdressers, their close business clients, etc., and sometimes, but not every time, even tell their female relatives if they have been with an extremely endowed man. Most do talk. Not all, but most do. Very rare for them to keep it to themselves. They don't shout it from the rooftops, and the women are always discreet about who they share with, but they do share. Which is why I've had many experiences where ladies have gotten in touch with me, often a "referral", from someone who "shared" her experience. Most want to "see", with the insinuation of sex. Most, when they do "see for themselves", change their minds about actual sex but they still want to touch and play with mine. That is not relevant so much as it is why they then talk some and can talk and feel comfortable talking.
First, a caveat, I do not "show" or have any form of intimacy with any woman I don't like and am not attracted to on some level. I like women, a lot. I don't lie to them and never pretend. I don't lead them on. But a lady doesn't have to be a "hot wife" or "milf" or whatever to get my attention and convince me to let them at least see for themselves and let them play with me. And a woman is "slut" outfits at parties is trying too hard and seldom could garner my attention even for a moment.
But, in general I've learned some things about some ladies. I don't even begin to think I know them all or can read them all well. I can't.
But I do pay attention to their facial expressions, body language, and I listen to every word and nuance in speech they say.
All that said:
No two women are exactly the same. Often similar ideas and motives, but the mind and heart of every woman and her many motives are hers alone.
Never suppose you know a woman's feelings about her personal relationships with her family, a boyfriend, other men, a husband, her ex boyfriends, and any ex husbands. Or any other male in her life. Or woman for that matter. Women are complex with the men in their lives and can love a man and hold resentment at the same time. And women think about their relationships far more than men do. And a woman who feels she is taken for granted or not appreciated, or feels she has suffered in some way, often ladies like that are just looking for a personal "revenge" or something even if the men in their lives never know that. Its' complicated and most women have many motives for what they do and don't do.
Sometimes women are competitive. Even to the point of trying to be a better fuck or lover or sex partner than another woman they know.
I've experienced that ladies married or attached to other very endowed men are the most complex of all. Some are excited at the prospect of meeting some one else larger than their husband/boyfriend, and some ladies have been upset to learn their very endowed man wasn't the biggest man they and their friends know of. Some ladies like being the lady their friends and relatives think caught the man with the biggest whopper they know of, a status symbol in a way, and some resent the surprise that is no longer true.
Some women like to be watched by their significant others, for reasons as many and complex as the couple involved, and others need complete discretion with no one to ever learn they met you or have seen themselves. Some are the first to claim some sort of non interest in public, but then are the first in line to secretly get my contact information in private from the person from whom they learned has met me.
Some rare ladies collect sexual experiences, for whatever reason...boredom, or sexual "athletes", or just the rare woman who is perhaps a "nymphomaniac", but only they truly know what drives them.
And I must respectfully disagree with Tactfulgal on her number 1 conclusion. Ladies marry a man for many reasons. Sometimes those reasons change. Sometimes they harbor desires and want to experience something new, or something similar to what they once had in a prior husband or boyfriend, and want to experience that again. And some women do marry (or date) men, or not date or marry men, because of the size of their endowment, as well as the size of their bank account, their height, their hygiene, their sense of humor, their future life prospects, and out of boredom and tired of being alone. The same as men date ladies for a myriad of reasons. But, I think Tactfulgal was correct on the first sentence of her number 3. Generally speaking.
I almost never approach a lady first. Certainly never if I see she is married. A lady who contacts me from a friend or relative of hers has decided for herself what her interests are and what she wants and what is important to her. I don't get in to that. She's an adult and has made her own decisions. But she still has to take a blood test like anyone else. I know of several labs, open 24/7/365, which do tests in an hour or less, are totally discreet, and will provide the security I need, because I will take a test too for their peace-of-mind. Often times that is a surprise as their friends and relatives forgot to mention that part of the experience of "seeing" for themselves. Most understand that when they confirm it with their friends or whomever.
The bottom line is that its probably wiser to never suppose to know the motives and mind of any lady, married or otherwise, never judge them, and if you are actively seeking only married women, then you are passing up a lot of great ladies and also, you are treading in relationships you know nothing about. If the lady is truly interested, she will find a way to hint to you or drop you a signal to let you know.