slimed

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by Imported, Apr 16, 2004.

  1. Imported

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    DJM277: What's the strangest, funniest thing you accidently "slimed" while masturbating?

    An embarrassing sliming happened to me in college. I got back from class totally horny one afternoon because this incredibly stacked girl was sitting next to me and I could see right down her shirt . I knew I had about twenty minutes before my room mate got back, so I laid down in bed, took off my shirt, pulled down my pants and had a good pull. It took me about ten minutes to orgasm, then I just cleaned off my stomach and neck and laid back letting my erection subside. Suddenly I heard keys in the door and I quickly pulled my pants back up and pretended to be asleep. My room mate walked in, threw his backpack on his bed and went over to my desk to grab the cordless phone. He picked it up and suddenly I heard him say "#%$^!, That's SICK!" There was a big glob of my slime right on the the phone, and you could definitely tell it was ejaculate from the fresh-shot smell.
     
  2. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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  3. jonb

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    Well, I once 'slimed' a houseplant. I told my roommate it was the plant's natural defenses against insects afterward.
     
  4. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    I once slimed my older bro's foot. I shared a bedroom with my two older brothers, and once while jacking off I squirted spooge onto the foot of my oldest brother, who slept in the bed next to mine. He was asleep at the time, and I figured he probably wouldn't notice, or at least not figure out what had happened. He didn't say anything the next day, so I figured he never noticed. Next morning, however, I woke up with cum all over my face; he had noticed, and he got back at me! :-/
     
  5. Imported

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    prepstudinsc: Because of my propensity to squirt large amounts far distances, I usually try to jack off on my bed where I can safely spooge without doing too much damage. However, I find the aftermath more frequently than I would like to. The worst is if I jack off right before I go to bed and I think I have cleaned it all up and I roll over to go to sleep and roll into a puddle on the other pillow.
    I often find dried blobs on my night stand or on the headboard or the wall behind my bed, and as I'm looking at the wall next to my computer, I see a couple of runs down the wall. I've also found it on my dresser which is on the other side of my room, so I don't know how I shot it over there. LOL
     
  6. kurios

    kurios Member

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    DMW... got a kick out of your post...sorta like frontier justice. If your brother was a judge the courts wouldnt be so backed up with long trials.
     
  7. B_black10inches

    B_black10inches New Member

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    Very kool post. My brother was out of town when I was a teenager & I was sleeping in his bed. I had a wild wet dream & slimed his bed during the night. He just happened to come home that very night & was pissed that I was in his bed & threw me out. When he jumped into his bed, he laid right down on a big puddle of my sperm & freaked. It was funny as shyt. 8)
     
  8. Imported

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    James249620002000: When I was a young guy in college, during a break in a three hour class, I went to the men's room and masturbated. I then went back to class and sat down. When I placed my arm on the arm rest, I felt the sticky substance on my forearm...right in class. I didn't have anything to clean it up with, so, I just sat in class with my arm sticky and the arm rest sticky until class was over. I stayed in my seat until everyone left, of course. I don't even know how I got that glob on my forearm. You never know where it is going to fly.
     
  9. dave2006

    dave2006 New Member

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    One time in college a this girl was sucking me off but didn't want me to cum in her mouth so she jerked me off and I shot all over my belly and chest. I had her grab me a shirt that was on the floor and use it to clean up with. I had tossed it back on the floor and forgot about it. A couple days later I came home to find my roommate starting to put it on when we saw adry cum smeared all over the front.Turns out it was his shirt. I took a lot of shit for that one.He got me back eventually :mad:
     
  10. PILEDRIVER

    PILEDRIVER New Member

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    i've never been in that position, but stuff like that happens most of the time. shit happens.
     
  11. PILEDRIVER

    PILEDRIVER New Member

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    once one of my female friends though we were only friend got really horny one evening, we played some teasing, then we talked for quite a while getting close each time and then we fucked like rabbits, we got caught by a small 4 year kid her cousin, it was not embarssing, though we sent him out of the room down stairs and fucked away.
     
  12. luvnlg

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    I'm with the guest earlier in the thread. I was getting a hand from a coupel of friends moving out of my first apt. and I didn't realize how cum stained the wall behind my sofa was. It was the first place I ever lived on my own. I guess I jerked off a lot on the living room sofa, watching pron. I suppose in my youth I shot over my head a bit more than I do now and the wall was a testament to that. I got a good bit of ribbing by my buddies but all in good fun.
     
  13. LongPhatDong

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    The funniest accidental "slime" story for me was when I was with one of my ex'es. She was a flincher and hated the stuff to get anywhere near her face. However, she said it was a real turn-on for me finish on her stomach or ass. I've found from my experiences that the longer I have sex in one session, the farther I shoot. This particular session, we were going at it for about 3 hours. By the end, we were in the missionary position, and I was ready to wrap it up. I pulled out, took off the condom and aimed at her stomach. It was a really intense orgasm, so I had my head leaned back and my eyes closed. During this particular orgasm, I heard a scream from my ex. I guess I didn't point quite low enough, because when I opened my eyes there was a huge wad splashed across her face leading to her eye. She was upset at first, but then she realized the unlikelyhood of the situation and we both started cracking up. Maybe not that funny to outside readers, but for us it was hilarious.
     
  14. B_Spladle

    B_Spladle New Member

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    Myself. I'm a strange, funny guy.
     
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