Slow build up or immediate ramming, what do you prefer?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by dongalong, Apr 1, 2009.

  1. dongalong

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    If I want to last more than a few seconds during intercourse, I need to start very slowly and wait until my glans have become desensitized somewhat before I can do some serious thrusting, this can take up to 5 minutes, sometimes with breaks to reduce the orgasm urge! This period is extremely difficult if my balls haven't been emptied for a few days but if I manage to get past a certain point, I have the best sex ever because my cock is rock hard and extra sensitive.

    Sometimes, I get the impression that this slow start is frustrating for my girlfriend, especially after the passionate build up before sex, it has made me speed up and blow my load way too quickly just to give her what I think she wants.

    Honestly, what goes through your mind during these SLOW moments?
    Are there times when you'd prefer your man to start fucking like crazy from the beginning at the expense of a longer fuck?
     
  2. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    It's all pretty situation-specific, isn't it? :biggrin1:
     
  3. feel thick

    feel thick New Member

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    sometimes you thrust, sometimes the slow method... depends on mood, on both of you. I like her to suck me first, a good 15 mins of play, and that hardens me almost completely so i have no insertion problem. And I like giving her a good licking.
     
  4. feel thick

    feel thick New Member

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    i get two different measurements of my cock, and I use the simple but honest method given above. Don't push the ruler in your pubes or you'll be adding false centimeters to your cock. and straightening the cock curve is important. The problem is that in focusing on measuring you can lose erection strength. The best way to measure is to have your partner stimulate you to maximum hardness. Also girth. Use a tape, obviously, and measure around at the base. Same rule applies to stimulation.
    Also, I find that my cock will add a few centimeters at times. Just take an average, if that's the case. No measurement is absolute.
     
  5. dongalong

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    Yeah, blowjobs are perfect for desensitizing the glans but they don't always happen (unfortunately).
     
  6. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Hit it home. No work up, I just like hard fucking.
     
  7. greatdickismydrug

    greatdickismydrug New Member

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    Woman checking in here to answer a question directed towards women...Most men experience what you are going through so don't feel badly about it. It's all about dick control.

    What am I thinking about during the SLOW moments? GO FASTER!!! But I don't just think this, I tell my partner, or just move faster myself to give him the idea to speed things up.

    If I guy can't fuck me the way I like I don't fuck them anymore no matter how great their dick is. There are plenty of guys out there that have good control.
    But maybe your girlfriend doesn't mind the slow build up-after the slow build up foreplay-:eek:- type sex? Have you asked her?

    Keep working on the control thing. Since I am not a man, I cannot answer the "how" part...just know from experience that it is possible to have fast, pounding, sex that lasts for a long time prior to the man's first orgasm.
     
  8. sizequeenT

    sizequeenT New Member

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    I'd prefer a build up.
     
  9. tiff86

    tiff86 New Member

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    My bf usually does this thing where he starts slow and builds up and I really like it it's just like all the time he's getting a little faster :biggrin1:.
     
  10. dan1

    dan1 New Member

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    Love the slow build up...it has all kinds of possibilities!!
     
  11. Skull Mason

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    slay the poonanny
     
  12. dongalong

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    :biggrin1:
    There are certain conditions when I can thrust like a maniac right from the start and continue for ages:

    - When I'm a bit drunk, I get so desensitized that I'll be lucky if I cum.

    - Shortly after ejaculating - my erection seems less impressive though

    - When my balls are "empty" from too much sex during the previous few days.

    - after a nice (5 minute minimum) blowjob.

    Otherwise it takes a lot of concentration to control myself so I'm glad that some women prefer a build up.
     
  13. greatdickismydrug

    greatdickismydrug New Member

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    OK!!! Good!!! So maybe the GF needs to be working harder at it? She should be happy and willing to give you at LEAST a 5 minute blow job in exchange for what she likes. Five minutes is just a warm up!
     
  14. Blocko

    Blocko Member

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    I've helped some people with this before and one pointed me here, so I'll chime in.

    With regards to your sensitivity/urge problem; part of that animal urge is due to brain chemistry and the way your blood is flowing in your brain. Generally, when you are in that primal mode, you are wound up, your breathing is fast and your adrenaline is kicking in. This causes something similar to the fight, flight or freeze response (the same that causes panic attacks and helps you tackle/run away from armed gangs) and people, especially those who suffer from anxiety and stress, have a harder time controlling this than others. It also causes muscles to tense (including the ones that control your orgams) and twitch ready for action.

    Oddly enough, the remedy is often quite simple. Slow down your breathing! In fact, it's the same technique used to stop panic attacks. A simple exercise is to try a deep intake of air for a few seconds count (at least 3) through the nose and then a deeper exhalation through the mouth (for a count of one more than it took you to breath in). Practice several times a day for minutes at a time until you can almost do it subconsciously and try it when you're building up to sex, it'll help you a lot.

    Also, learn to control the muscles that cause your ejaculation consciously; kegel exercises can help (plenty of info about them around these boards) as can awareness exercises (such as slowly building yourself up to ejaculation through masturbation and stopping at the point you're about to cum and then catching that instant of action).

    But the biggest point to make is - stop worrying about it so much! Worrying about it makes you more anxious which makes it worse. And if all else fails, beer (don't go down on her if you do), wine and whiskey are all great relaxants in moderation :grin:.

    But basically, once you put in the time for this (the same way you would practicing free throws or in the gym exercising) you will able to do whatever makes you (and your girlfriend) happy without worrying about crossing the finish line too early.
     
  15. B_chinagirl4u2

    B_chinagirl4u2 New Member

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    It really depends on the situation, sometimes I want them to cum fast, faster the better, other times slow...very slow , ie 30 + minutes, at least.
     
  16. RawDog

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    What if 30 minutes is fast? Seriously, my wife and I have gotten to the point where anything less than 45 minutes is a quickie. We average about 2 hours a night now and double that on the weekends. Although, to be perfectly honest, 95% of that is nudgefucking her cul de sac.
     
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