Smack Her Ass After A Kiss Goodbye?

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286798

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I'm back on the dating scene. My online dating profile is very conservatively written and my photos are carefully selected so to not invite attention from those who are looking for a hookup. I'm clear about my desire for a slow pace (I don't usually even kiss on a first date). Although I am very serious about my dating intent, I am hella fun and playful on a date. Not so much flirty or suggestive... more goofy or silly.

The past 2 men who actually made it to getting a smooch goodbye have both playfully smacked me on the ass as they walked away. Almost like a "good job" pat on a sports team. Lol. I wasn't offended by either, but I also didn't really want it or feel like I had invited it. I also wondered what they were feeling when they did it... was it "good job- I liked the kiss and want more", "good job- I like the shape of your rear view", or "good job- I can't control my hands".

What does it mean when you smack a girl on the booty outside of the bedroom?
 

cofrader

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Maybe you should stop dating nfl players. Lol.
I’m a random smacker with my wife for good and bad, she gets puzzled and I get to touch her but.
Perhaps they are premature smackers it never happened to me on a first date.
I wouldn’t give to much thought on it I don’t think you would be giving wrong signals, when I was dating i did the things that I thought could work but I was never sure of the outcome.
 

ronin001

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1st date, for me generally ends with a hand shake or hand on her arm; and a kiss on the cheek.
If we are walking and I guide her through a door or room. I may lightly tough her lower back / hip; but well above the ass curve

I guess I am a 2nd - 3rd date kind of guy, before I explore below the equator

Good luck and be careful out there Lurker,
 
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286798

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For clarification... 1st patter was a first date who somehow sniped a closed mouth kiss when I was expecting a cheek kiss, 2nd guy was on a 3rd date (first closed mouth kiss). And it was kind of like a smack your girlfriend/wife on the tush while she's cooking dinner playfulness. I AM playful so I'm not over thinking... just curious about what a guy is thinking when he goes for the booty pat.
 
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deleted1547822

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Generally, I think it's inappropriate if it's a date that just got a first kiss. I have no idea what they were thinking.

That said, it really depends on the date and your attitude. Just dinner and a movie? Smacking your butt is weird. You guys participated in some team event, and you're "hella fun and playful"? I can see a guy doing it as a flirty compliment. "I had a good time, you're cool, we kicked ass and this is a little more flirty than a high-five".
 

IntactMale

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I admit that I've done this one. It wasn't on a first date, but it was with a woman that I had been seeing for a few weeks. We had been making out but it hadn't gone past that point. We were both in our early 20s, both still living with out parents so it was hard to get opportunities to go any further and I wasn't sure whether or not she was ready to go further.

One night I was leaving her house, we had been making out but it was late and I had to leave. We walked out to the front door, I kissed her goodnight a few times and as she turned to go inside I gave her a little slap on the ass. I didn't really think about it, I just did it, maybe subconsciously I wanted to see what more she would be willing to do, but looking back it was risky and it could have really upset her. Fortunately, she had a very positive reaction and we were able to become more sexual in our relationship after that.

You asked what they were thinking or feeling. I can't speak for them, but for me it was an impulse that I think was me trying to see if she was interested in taking things further. I'm guessing its something similar for the guys who have done this with you. Its feeling out whether there is clearance to take things further.

I don't really think there is a difference if the smack occurs inside or outside the bedroom, most men are happy to make outside the bedroom the same thing as inside the bedroom anyways. In short, the guys are checking to see if you are interested in doing anything more than kissing. It's risky, and probably isn't as tolerated today as it used to be.
 

thickcockjames

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Hard to tell, I'd never do that on a first date. If it were someone I'd had sex with before, then maybe. First dates for me, I'm a hug or a handshake kind of person, unless the chemistry is off the charts.

Was it like, right on the back of your butt, smacking the center of one of your cheeks? Or was it more of a tap on the butt side of your hip? If its still early in my relationship with a girl and we are kissing for the first couple times, I'll certainly hold my hands along her hips and could gently pat them a few times.
 

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If it's at the office on a Friday afternoon, it's my way of telling the women "great job this week, see ya on Monday."
Just kidding.
I've never done that on any date. I've been married over twenty years and if I smacked my wife she'd probably slug me.
It seems a little too much like a team sport maneuver. I don't know. Maybe it's the younger generation.
 

ItsAll4Kim

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I'm back on the dating scene. My online dating profile is very conservatively written and my photos are carefully selected so to not invite attention from those who are looking for a hookup. I'm clear about my desire for a slow pace (I don't usually even kiss on a first date). Although I am very serious about my dating intent, I am hella fun and playful on a date. Not so much flirty or suggestive... more goofy or silly.

The past 2 men who actually made it to getting a smooch goodbye have both playfully smacked me on the ass as they walked away. Almost like a "good job" pat on a sports team. Lol. I wasn't offended by either, but I also didn't really want it or feel like I had invited it. I also wondered what they were feeling when they did it... was it "good job- I liked the kiss and want more", "good job- I like the shape of your rear view", or "good job- I can't control my hands".

What does it mean when you smack a girl on the booty outside of the bedroom?

That gets a WTF from me. It's never occurred to me to do that in a kiss-goodnight early-dating scenario.
 
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286798

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I can see a guy doing it as a flirty compliment. "I had a good time, you're cool, we kicked ass and this is a little more flirty than a high-five".
You asked what they were thinking or feeling. I can't speak for them, but for me it was an impulse that I think was me trying to see if she was interested in taking things further. I'm guessing its something similar for the guys who have done this with you. Its feeling out whether there is clearance to take things further.
I think a combo of these might be it. Although it didn't work for either, though. Neither was appropriate at this stage of dating. After our date, I learned that the first guy is married... so I think he was trying to gauge if I'd be game. (I'm not. At all.) The date with 2nd guy was nice enough and I was interested in seeing him again soon until he smacked my tush. Too much, too soon... I felt like he misread my queues.

Was it like, right on the back of your butt, smacking the center of one of your cheeks? Or was it more of a tap on the butt side of your hip? If its still early in my relationship with a girl and we are kissing for the first couple times, I'll certainly hold my hands along her hips and could gently pat them a few times.
It was very much like a sports smack. An upward smack from the bottom, outside cheek. Not an incidental touch during the kiss.
 
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286798

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It happened again. 2nd date... although it was more of a much later on date venue since he cooked for me at his home... after a number of closed mouth kisses as I was walking out the door.

I'm going to follow up with him and ask about it. I just find it so peculiar.
 

Jjz1109

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1st date, for me generally ends with a hand shake or hand on her arm; and a kiss on the cheek.
If we are walking and I guide her through a door or room. I may lightly tough her lower back / hip; but well above the ass curve

I guess I am a 2nd - 3rd date kind of guy, before I explore below the equator

Good luck and be careful out there Lurker,

@ronin001, you are the perfect gentleman we men should aspire to be. If I had a daughter, I’d be happy to have you date her. That said, I’m fucking relieved I don’t have a daughter, it would make me nuts, and she’d be wearing a chastily belt, so any man would need to have lots of time and patience on his hands, and would need to come to ask me for that key. But kudos to you, bro!
 

Jjz1109

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I never got the butt smacking thing. I see it in porn, and laugh. If I smacked any chick’s ass (in the past, of course, sinceim happily married!), even in the heat of the moment, I would expect nothing short of a smack back, and not on my ass.
 
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286798

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I never got the butt smacking thing. I see it in porn, and laugh. If I smacked any chick’s ass (in the past, of course, sinceim happily married!), even in the heat of the moment, I would expect nothing short of a smack back, and not on my ass.
I think you're thinking of the wrong kind of smack... think more like walking past your wife while she's cooking or something and give her a little playful swat.
 

Jjz1109

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I think you're thinking of the wrong kind of smack... think more like walking past your wife while she's cooking or something and give her a little playful swat.

Then you’ve answered the question. It’s just that. A simple playful swat, a sign of affection. Don’t read anything more into it. Men and women show love and affection differently, so take it for what it is. If it bothers you, let the dude know.
 
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286798

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I'm not reading into it. I'm asking for male perspective of what men think when they go for the pat. Because you're right, women and men do show affection differently. I clearly don't know what y'all are thinking or I wouldn't be surprised by the swat!

And I'm not offended, per se... but it is a little early in getting to know each other to be going below the belt for my taste, even in a playful manner.
 
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deleted1547822

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“Simple, playful swats” require a degree of familiarity that doesn’t seem to be present yet, from what I’m getting from lurker’s posts - although the guy in question might be under the impression that it is.

There is still a legitimate societal image of patting someone’s butt as harassing.
 
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286798

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I have heard several times that people feel like they've known me forever after just meeting me. Maybe that is why they feel comfortable with the swat.

I'm also wondering if the online dating culture where hooking up is acceptable has affected the timeline of familiarity/willingness to ask bold questions. Kinda like this (not me)
659c4520-cc7a-417c-b9a2-cf664488ad18.jpg